my knight in big green truck.

so i would like to say thank you to eric, my sisters man for picking me up for work since i was too dizzy to drive and for fixing my car, and thanks to a banking error on my part, paying for the parts to fix said piece of crap car that has begun breaking down every other week. ( and its never on the weeks i get paid) im fixing it only because im giving it to my mother otherwise i would have it go to the scrapyard.

i am going to buy a new car, well possibly a used car, but it will be a certified used car if it is used, im looking for something with a warranty. the way i see it, if Lorenzo can qualify to buy a brand new Ion, i can at least get a Kia. My Sammy will become my mothers because she needs a car more than i need a down payment.

my insurance contract is up on december 28th so that works out nicely i will just drop both of those cars from the policy and add my new one. time to start shopping.

hmmm

i would like something sporty, something cute... but at this point... ill take a pinto with a new engine. grrr its times like this that i hate the fact that i really know nothing about cars... i guess i oughta get off my hiney and do some research seeing as i have decided friday (or maybe saturday depending on if i can get off early) is D-day and i will get it then. i wish i could afford my mini but noooo....

i figure i need something safe, i need to spend about 200 a month, and maybe 150 on insurance... in order to still be able to comfortably afford an apartment... about 300 and 200 in order to be able to afford one at all and i can go higher than that if i resign myself to living at home. speaking of resigning myself to living at home...

my mother flipped out earlier, because i told her i was going to be purchasing a car this weekend. i told her i was giving her mine and she started freaking out even more, i was hoping to move out in february, but she was saying that she is going to need me at home to help out for a while... lovely. well this works out ok i guess... sunny side up... i will simply help her out, and put the rest of what would be rent to the side this will be my furniture fund, my tax refund will go in the same savings, and when i move out i will be set, and if i do this diligently not only will i have furniture, but i will be able to pay my rent a couple months in advance... meanwhile im buying a bed... if im gonna be there for a while i am getting a bed, that cot has got to go.

new years resolutions, ok maybe not new years seeing as im gonna start on these today december 26th is the same deal. so december 26th is my new year.

1. start eating right... even if that means avoiding mom's dinner like the plague (as im finishing my breakfast of chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon chocolate covered pecans)
2. excercise in the mornings... i felt much better when i would go running in the morning, im sure i can figure something out here
3. maintain financial stablitity (even if it means not buying new shoes each week)
4. maintain savings (meaning no more bailing people out, besides mom)
5. finalize divorce as soon as finances allow
6. finish cleaning up credit which will include obtaining and being responsible for a damn credit card grrrr....
7. complete at least two semesters of school
8. become more community oriented and socialize more
9. find at least one thing to be genuinely happy about daily
10. learn to forgive myself more, and others less.

that last one is to say... drea, you are not a doormat. you do not need to feel bad for taking your life back. it is your life, you are the one who needs to live it. you step on a few toes or make a couple people look like you just kicked a puppy on the way. so be it. i cannot control the world. i can only change my part of it. i am responsible for my part of this life and no one elses... but if i can help and so desire i will. it is in my power and slightly to my benefit to help my mother, so i will. i can no longer be responsible for his skewed views of importance, so i wont.