"let the rain fall down/ and wake my dreams/ let it wash away/ my sanity/ cause i wanna feel the thunder/ i wanna scream/ let the rain fall down/ im coming clean." -Hillary Duff
Its raining, it has been for a couple of days.. its kind of nice... i love the rain... so i miss her. but i'm also pissed... i really have no right... plenty of reason but no right... i guess anger is one of the steps toward acceptance... i left my toothbrush.. i really liked that toothbrush, but i am absent minded like that so I always keep a spare(or two or three). dirty teeth are not on my list of things that i find sexy... i have a whole teeth criterion but we are not going to go into the many psychosies of drea today... i dont have the time or the energy and the list would be miles long because i am discovering new ones every day. i left alot of shit... but thats what happens when you split with someone after so long... i am still finding Supes' shit everywhere, im sure i will start finding hers.
so... i am still talking to domenick... she never gave me the chance to choose... i was going to take my time to think so i would not regret the decision and decide between myself and her... i was gonna choose her but she never trusted me hacked my email and now... oh well... i like explosive situations... this is what happens... she never will trust me again and i dont know if i am willing to ever give her the chance... i am afraid to hurt her again, so i will avoid her like the plague... but i do miss her. c'est la vie. its not like she fucking wants to speak to me ever again right?
on to new subjects... i am no longer homeless... this is nice to have the same place to go to every night... i am talking to my mother again... she is decidedly crazy (hm... i wonder where i get it from) she keeps being in denial... now after all these years, with me out of her house she has finaly decided to pretend like i can do no wrong... i tell her things and she reacts and then pretends like i never said anything.... i think in her mind i am still on track in school i still have all 0f my scolarships i am still with Supes, and me and Bijou are not talking because of something she did not me. why couldnt she be delusional when i still lived there and would not have gotten in trouble so much?
About Me
- me
- Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States
- Pablo Neruda Sonnet XVII (100 Love Sonnets, 1960) I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close "Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh, and cruel, but that's why there's us. It doesn't matter where we come from, or what we've done, or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be." --Angel
