aaaaghhhh!

"save some face/ you know you've only got one.../change your ways/ while your young.../ boy one day you'll be a man/ girl he'll help you understand/... smile like you mean it"-- the killers

"thank you so much"
-for what?
"for making it the best five years of my life"
-ouch... i mean... ouch... i dont know what to say to that, i gotta go.

so now he's asking for his stuff back... all of it... the card.. the games.. the cd's... it really is over. and i am not as sad as i thought i would be... i feel relieved in a way. its like after a month of realizing that he is still in love with me and i dont feel the same a weight is lifted. i think he will actually be ok. and i can start feeling ok about being ok.. really it amazes me that it has been a month already... i had all these plans about what i was going to change and make better and i have done nothing except write bad poetry and chapters to my novel that i promptly discarded as rubbish. (which i kind of regret now cause i might have thought something was worth saving if i re-read it) eh well c'est la vie..