To Ani, From A Jackass

"If anyone knows about necessary release it's me, sometimes it's easier to scribe unto the blackness than it is to confront what you don't understand. The fact is that I'm not a pussy; it's not pussy to care about what my wife says, it's not a weakness to listen. It's nice that you care how people treat me, but you have to understand that I've never been one to deal with shit. I believe that me and my wife are complete equals and in so we speak our minds to each other. She doesn't treat me badly, and frankly, who would know better than me? The Tiffany people see is not her. She spent her childhood going through hell and now she hides from everyone but me. To know that one of the few people she considered to be a friend wasn't bothered me to an obscene amount. I can't change how you feel or felt and I don't know how you feel now, but I do know she thought you were her friend, and you're not, and that's a terrible trait. A trait that's too fucking common in life. Paranoia is a horrible feeling and it's something that I feel enough of without thinking about how real my friends are, or how they feel about my wife. If you're gonna hate her, hate her because of who she is, not because of who you think she is. I don't know what to think about this whole thing. Honestly, would you?L."

I am honestly ashamed of myself because I cant stand prejudice and in this case I am guilty of it myself. I myself hide things and try to pretend that everything is peachy when my world is torn up inside. But you cant always hide, you play a part long enough and it becomes who you are. I dont know you well, at all, and I'm sorry I spoke out about you and your husband. Your relationship is none of my damned business and I will keep my nose out of it from here after. I am sorry because I did one thing that pisses me off the most, I stated my opinion without fully knowing the situation. I complain about that alot on this thing, when perfect strangers put me down, and it is something I should never have done. I dont know how hard it must be to have the same thing from someone you thought you knew.

It is not that I do not want to be your friend its just that it is hard for me to befriend someone I know so little about. I would like to get to know you better, we are going to be around eachother for a very long time because Supes and Larm are best friends. I dont like being hurt and I definitely dont like hurting people. I know you are a good person inside and I should have gone with my gut rather than my observations on this one I'm sure. I know you cant be the horrid person I pictured in my head because I can't imagine someone like your husband loving something like that, but the only part of you I ever got to see was the bossy part, the controlive part, the quite frankly bitchy part. Looking back I have to wonder did you see the same in me?

I know that words alone are not enough, but I hope you know that what I said was said on a bad day and it was something I felt about something I didnt know. I do not feel the same way now, but I dont know if that makes any difference. I have a talent for hurting good people I care about and I am sorry I did it to you. I dont know you but I would like to, I shy away from you because from the way you carry yourself I think you don't like me. I am sorry if I am mistaken, and I would like to find someway to work it out if I'm not.