vitamin c

C for chocolate? Ok so I have been very good about not eating junk, but I made brownies this morning and everyone knows you can't make brownies and not eat them, although, I did make 56 cupcakes the other day and not touch a single one. My diet was failing miserably until last week when I found out that I am going to have a little person inhabiting my body for the next eight months. Funny cause I was just talking about how I wasn't going to ever have kids because I am incompetent. So my diet has changed for the better lean protien, few carbs lots of fruit (except grapefruit the bastards!) yogurt and cheese cause I can't drink milk lately, and tons and tons of veggies. So basically I'm eating how I should always have been eating and don't know why I haven't cause I like all the things I listed. Chocolate is no longer a food group, and I have tried eliminating all empty calories, of course try being the operative word, I have succeeded except for today with those wretched wretched brownies. Orange juice is my best friend and my tooth brush is my enemy.

So, I am almost over the whole shock of the matter. I am scared shitless, but starting to get kind of excited. My family took the whole, I'm still getting divorced and going to raise this child on my own thing, better than I thought, they are all psyched, my Nana wants to start shopping already, my grandpa said I can use his amex to my hearts content, and I already have four people planning a baby shower, or showers? This child is coming into a lot of love and support and that takes a big weight off my back.

Granted all's not well in paradise, I'm having mood swings and I'm exhausted, so much so that I thought I was depressed before I found out what was going on, I can't stop using the bathroom, I am thirsty as a friggin camel at a watering hole, I think my breasts are already growing, I'm scared shitless, and my first conversation with my obgyn ended in the phrase "seriously, you need to chill out before you lose this baby, see you on the ninth, remember to come early" this is not cre reassuring to say to someone that is already crying at the drop of a gay and couldn't give up her obsessive compulsive type a control freaking ways if her life depended on it.

But I have I relaxed I have relinquished control of half my responsibilities, and therefore half my raise, because I do not want anything to happen. I am going to have to make a conscience effort to chill, but I will.

Its late and I have to get up and be at the office early cause I forgot the most important part of the things I have to work on at the office silly me. So goodnight moon, goodnight sky, goodnight to the apple of my eye.

I love yall goodnight.