migraine

Sunday September 17, 2006 2:45 P.M.

My new name is The Petitioner. This is making me seriously reconsider getting a lawyer, I probably would except that I have no money, and if I did have money it would be quickly spent on shoes after this endeavor. I need some seriously hot shoes after this. I will probably blow an entire paycheck on shoes after this bullshit is done. (Ok so I’m a little more responsible than that… not the whole check ;) …)

I’m baking bread doing laundry and typing up, The Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, an Appearance Consent and Waiver, The final Decree, and Marital Settlement Agreement. Remind me to never become a lawyer, or a paralegal, or a secretary for that matter. My eye is twitching, has been for about two hours now, and my head is ready to explode. I still need his help in some things, like his Financial Statement (everything is friggin capitalized) and his signature in five million places, but as long as all of this works out, so long as I worded everything correctly, (and after checking double checking and rechecking I feel pretty confident I have) all he’ll have to do is sign, he won’t even have to show up in court. Which seems a bit unfair, but since when has anything ever been fair?

So, I am taking a break from typing, by uh... typing? Ha! Go fig. I would be writing, it is more physically satisfying and a bit more therapeutic, but I don’t feel like writing, I have a brand new journal that I bought last week and it is sitting right in front of me full of blank pages and possibilities. It is hardcover, spiral bound, sky blue, and has the word RELAX on the cover… maybe that’s the problem, I feel like getting this done, I don’t feel like relaxing. I just needed a break I was starting to speak legalese, and the cat was looking at me like I’m crazier than him.

I had a dream of my new apartment last night… I haven’t even officially decided on which one and here I am dreaming of it. It was nice I had no furniture, but the space was mine and I had a beautiful kitchen fabulous bathroom and a full closet, which is pretty realistic, cause I have everything for my kitchen and my bathroom and my closet, I just have to get a bedroom set, a sofa, a coffee table a new desk a… well quite frankly everything else… including a bed… need to get a bed. I think I’m just gonna buy a full because I’ve gotten used to sleeping on a twin and its just gonna be me so I don’t need all that space, I would say I could just buy a twin, but gee, I’m older than ten.

So my mother is in the other room watching Far and Away in Spanish… Un Horizonte Lejano which translates into “a far horizon” this just seems funny to me for some reason, tom cruise in Spanish is almost as funny as tom cruise in Japanese and I have decided that I need to have some ice cream… not want, NEED at this point. My mom was smart and when I woke up this morning and started working on the papers she started cooking comfort food… I think I will be 20 lbs heavier by the time today is over… maybe not, I had some enchiladas (which is funny cause that’s what me and lissa made for dinner last night but they were not nearly as good or comforting as my moms) and now I am going to go and buy a quart of ice cream and I promise, promise not to eat the whole damn thing myself… or at least to try not to.

Lol my mom just put her battle hair do on, she thinks she looks like a samurai, she kind of does, I think just think she’s high, that was meant as a joke but its probably true, my mom is almost always high when she’s home, so its quite possible. She is doing battle on her eyebrows, which I think is funny, but appropriate. Oh yeah I was leaving to go and get ice cream… by the time this is done maybe I wont even need ice cream. I’m going to leave now luck favors the prepared and I would rather have it and not eat it than to go into a sudden craving for it in like twenty minutes and kill someone to go to the store for me… I totally meant convince, not kill, they don’t drive well when they are dead. And the only person home is my mom and she would kill me long before I got the chance to even touch her. She’s scary sometimes.

Ha ha Malinda said she lost 80 lbs right after her divorce, I’m thinking that’s impossible. Malinda is tiny, and eats like a horse; I don’t think her divorce had anything to do with it. Either that or she wasn’t seriously contemplating eating an entire quart of ice cream… the only reason I wont is because I don’t think it will make me feel any better and I would probably puke. Maybe I’ll just get fruit bars or something… yeah… I’ll be back and I’m sure I will write on here some more.

I’m back… they say caffeine is supposed to relieve migraines so here I am with some Dryers slow churned Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream… it has coffee in it right? It’s helping. Hmmm go figure that one. I’m nearing completion on everything bread, laundry, this bowl of ice cream and papers… and I think I might just be done for the day.

Ok now its nine o’clock and I’m done for the day… for real this time. I’ve been working on this since 8:00 this morning, and I’m not done… almost, but not quite. The rest of the stuff is things that I need his cooperation on, so it’s not like I’m gonna get anywhere tonight, or this week for that matter. Because our work schedules collide meaning he’s not at work when I am and I’m not when he is, and all the other time I am sleeping. Cause I go to bed early or he’s sleeping cause he wakes up late, ok not late but when you leave for work at 600 everything seems late.

I’m freezing and I cant get warm I am sitting here in stretch pants covered in flannel pj bottoms a tank top a tee shirt a big fuzzy sweater, thick socks, pink poofy fuzzy bunny slippers, a heating pad on my back and a heating sack around my shoulders, a knit cap, and I am still freezing. Its sixty degrees out side and much warmer than that in here but I feel like a friggin Popsicle. My skin is cold. I am this bundled up and my skin is cold. I must be dying… ok so everyone is dying and I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with me to make me keel over any sooner, but you never know. That’s my answer to a broken finger nail ugh! I'm dying!

This is ridiculous my temperature is 95.8 I have hypothermia, why? I don’t know. They say that Thomas Jefferson died from hypothermia from eating too much ice cream on a hot day. I had ice cream today, but it was only one small bowl and that was a few hours ago. And it’s not a hot day. So… yeah… I’ll just wrap myself up some more and eat soup.

Yay my mommy loves me she’s making me drink tea and stop complaining and assuring me the world is not coming to an end. I’ll believe her cause she can lie to me about as well as I can lie to her which is not at all, that and my mom is sort of a spaz at times and if the world was ending she would not be this calm and would not be making me tea, she’d be making sure I have clean underwear on (do I have underwear on?) and telling me to start praying.

I love this tea cup my uncle Joe brought it from Japan it’s the perfect size and it has a lid so it can hold the tea at the perfect temperature and it’s very pretty. It is white porcelain with blue butterflies all over, it has been my favorite for quite some time so it has a chip in it just below the lip which has been stained from use after use, I think I need to convince my mom to let me have it after I have an apartment, but I have so many tea cups I already know the answer will be no. just as well, don’t need it anyway. :( . I also like this tea its made by exotica and its Osmanthus tea, apparently Osmanthus is a flower commonly used in fragrances and this stuff smells so good, I’m usually a green tea person and I like exotica’s china white tea the best but its black tea, so I could put honey, but I am anti honey lately,. I have the strangest desire to smear it all over someone but not to drink it.

My phone has not rung all day; I think the world really is coming to an end. I have gotten texts from Justine and Rikki but no calls all day. I hope I didn’t forget to pay it again… wait, no not due yet, not nearly. Hmmm…

I think I am going to go to bed now, it is nearly ten and I am mentally exhausted… that and I really want to snuggle up to my pillow (his name is DD) and get under seven layers of blankets, my woobie is fresh out of the dryer and its almost my bed time anyway.
So good night world I will see you again in a few hours.