The Women's Dictionary

Dont hate me for writing this I found it in the teachers lounge and decided it was rather amusing (and rather true) so I decided to steal if from the fridge type it up and post it. Now I have to figure a way to get it back on the fridge before the psycho teachers show up.

FINE- this is the word that women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES- if she is getting dressed this is half an hour. "FIVE MINUTES" is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before doing something she asked you to do.

NOTHING- this is the calm before the storm. this means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "NOTHING" usually end in "FINE."

GO AHEAD- this is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH- this is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "LOUD SIGH" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "NOTHING".

THATS OK- this is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. It means that she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANK YOU- a woman is thanking you. Do not question it just say you're welcome.

He's a charmer ;)

i have this kid in my class that knows just how to get to me. he is in kindergarten and he is the biggest ladies man (boy?) i have ever met. he gets in to trouble and as hes sitting in time out he makes comments like: you look very beautiful today miss andrea. you have a pretty nose. you sing like an angel miss andrea. that color looks good on you miss andrea. my daddy said miss rikki's the prettiest but i think you are. i dont know where this kid is learning this. i think either too much tv or daddy is playing momma, but its good for my ego. is this a bad thing? i'm not encouraging him to do this, he doesnt get in any less trouble.. (ok maybe a little less but hes in kindergarten and is the most adorable child) im just afraid that this kid is going to turn out to be like one of our other kids who recently told me "i like it when you run miss andrea your boobies jiggle nice" how do you explain propriety to a mentally challenged eight year old?

I'm Broken

we were playing soccer today because it was such a beautiful day out i didnt want to take the kids inside (that and there were 45 of them and they were driving me slowly insane, cramped in that one tiny classroom because the A track class we are supposed to be using belongs to a bitch that falsely accused us of wrecking her computer the last time we were in there when it turns out she left the stupid monitor on the same screen for 6 weeks while her class was off- track) and i am pooped, we played soccer for about an hour so my legs are kinda sore, i havent done that much running in forever, plus i kept squatting down to pick up and run with the little ones so we could score goals together, instead of just the bigger ones taking over. i love all the kids, but i got a special place in my heart for the little ones.

then genius me, decided to play football with some of the boys, my shoulder is sore from launching the ball my chest is bruised from a particularly forcefull pass, and i broke two nails. the nail thing didnt really hurt, it just sucks cause i had finally gotten them all the same length on both hands. eh, oh well im running around with chipped hot pink nail polish a stubby index and thumb on my right hand, bruised and battered but i still have a great big smile on my face. today was a beautiful day.