bibliophile

so im addicted to books. i think im going to give up the bookstore for lent or maybe just obsessive shopping in general. its funny cause i dont consider myself to be a catholic any more but still every year i give up something between ash wednesday and easter, and i dont eat meat every friday between ash wednesday and easter. hmmm maybe im not so agnostic as i make myself out to be, maybe im just another disillusioned catholic. how sad. anyhoot i have decided that if they made a combo bookstore/shoestore i would never leave. i would just sit around all day reading and putting pretty things on my feet i would never go home i would never go to work, i would just live there. ah mais si c'est possible.

so i think that my winter blues are over. i was re-reading my blog and looking back at my poetry and other journals. (ok so im not only a bibliophile im an obsessive writer as well) and my mood is definitly on an upswing. i better not say any more, i know ill jinx it.

but before i go all happy go lucky on you (i know that would freak you out liss) one last bout of lamentable poetry (not mine but well fitting to my retrospective mood) ok so not the last of it we all know i can excape the written word about as well as i can escape breathing. (which is not very easy i have discovered) (the editor is not letting me use line breaks and spacing the way it is supposed to so instead of going slightly crazier, im just going to leave it and get over it)

When You Come To Me

When you come to me, unbidden
Beconing me
To long-ago rooms,
Where memories lie.

Offering me, as to a child, an attic,
Gatherings of days too few,
Baubles of stolen kisses,
Trinkets of borrowed loves,
Trunks of secret words

I CRY.

In a Time

In a time of secret wooing

Today prepares tomorrow's ruin

Left knows not what right is doing

My heart is torn asunder.

In a time of furtive sighs

Sweet hellos and sad goodbyes

Half-truths told and entire lies

My conscience echoes thunder.

In a time when kingdoms come

Joy is brief as summer's fun

Happiness its race has run

Then pain stalks in to plunder.

To a Husband

Tonight

when you spread your pallet

of magic,

I escaped.

Sitting apart,

I saw you grim and unkempt.

Your vulgarness

not of living,

your demands

not from need.

Tonight

as you sprinked your brain-dust

of rainbows,

I had no eyes.

Seeing all

I saw the colors fade

and change.

The blood, red dulled

through the dyes,

and the naked

Black-White truth.

How Can I Lie to You

now thread my voice

with lies

of lightness

force within

my mirror eyes

the cold disguise

of sad and wise

decisions.

Mourning Grace

If today i follow death,

go down its trackless wastes,

salt my tongue on hardened tears

for my precious time's waste

race

along the promised cave in a headlong

deadlong

haste,

Will you

have

the

grace

to mourn for

me?

Passing Time

Your skin like dawn

Mine like dusk.

One paints the beginning

of a certian end.

The other, the end of a

sure beginning.

Poor Girl

You've got another love

and I know it

Someone who adores you

just like me

Hanging on your words

like they were gold

Thinking that she understands

your soul

Poor Girl

Just like me.

You're breaking another heart

and I know it

And there's nothing

I can do

If I try to tell her

what I know

She'll misunderstand

and make me go

Poor Girl

Just like me.

You're going to leave her too

and I know it

She'll never know

what made you go

She'll cry and wonder

what went wrong

Then she'll begin

to sing this song

Poor Girl

Just like me.

Insomniac

There are some nights when

sleep plays coy,

aloof and disdainful.

And all the wiles

that I employ to win

its service to my side

are as useless as wounded pride,

and much more painful.

Clean jokes for slightly twisted minds

More clean jokes for slightly twisted minds

Poem of the day. (yay poesia! good for the soul)

its by Toni Morrision and i wish i could say all of this about myself.

Phenominal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

The Women's Dictionary

Dont hate me for writing this I found it in the teachers lounge and decided it was rather amusing (and rather true) so I decided to steal if from the fridge type it up and post it. Now I have to figure a way to get it back on the fridge before the psycho teachers show up.

FINE- this is the word that women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES- if she is getting dressed this is half an hour. "FIVE MINUTES" is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before doing something she asked you to do.

NOTHING- this is the calm before the storm. this means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "NOTHING" usually end in "FINE."

GO AHEAD- this is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH- this is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "LOUD SIGH" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "NOTHING".

THATS OK- this is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. It means that she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANK YOU- a woman is thanking you. Do not question it just say you're welcome.

He's a charmer ;)

i have this kid in my class that knows just how to get to me. he is in kindergarten and he is the biggest ladies man (boy?) i have ever met. he gets in to trouble and as hes sitting in time out he makes comments like: you look very beautiful today miss andrea. you have a pretty nose. you sing like an angel miss andrea. that color looks good on you miss andrea. my daddy said miss rikki's the prettiest but i think you are. i dont know where this kid is learning this. i think either too much tv or daddy is playing momma, but its good for my ego. is this a bad thing? i'm not encouraging him to do this, he doesnt get in any less trouble.. (ok maybe a little less but hes in kindergarten and is the most adorable child) im just afraid that this kid is going to turn out to be like one of our other kids who recently told me "i like it when you run miss andrea your boobies jiggle nice" how do you explain propriety to a mentally challenged eight year old?

I'm Broken

we were playing soccer today because it was such a beautiful day out i didnt want to take the kids inside (that and there were 45 of them and they were driving me slowly insane, cramped in that one tiny classroom because the A track class we are supposed to be using belongs to a bitch that falsely accused us of wrecking her computer the last time we were in there when it turns out she left the stupid monitor on the same screen for 6 weeks while her class was off- track) and i am pooped, we played soccer for about an hour so my legs are kinda sore, i havent done that much running in forever, plus i kept squatting down to pick up and run with the little ones so we could score goals together, instead of just the bigger ones taking over. i love all the kids, but i got a special place in my heart for the little ones.

then genius me, decided to play football with some of the boys, my shoulder is sore from launching the ball my chest is bruised from a particularly forcefull pass, and i broke two nails. the nail thing didnt really hurt, it just sucks cause i had finally gotten them all the same length on both hands. eh, oh well im running around with chipped hot pink nail polish a stubby index and thumb on my right hand, bruised and battered but i still have a great big smile on my face. today was a beautiful day.

there are no letters on my keyboard

i've worn them all away
and yet i find my self looking down
for what i have to say.

i dont know why im thinking in rhyme today, but i will spare you.

its been a while (staind song now playing in my head). i have been sick and busy. very sick and very busy, bad combo. i scored my self a five day weekend by catching some stomach thing. (the flu, a virus, whatever i dont care what it was im just happy im alive.) so i spent a good amount of time lamenting the things i needed to get done that i couldnt, and thinking about all the things that i have been neglecting and shouldnt. but first the wonderous things that have been happened these past 10 or so days in the wonderful life of drea ;)

nothing

that was quick

haha, its sad but i have a whole lot more ranting to do than just that

first there was valentines day, which as you well know is my favorite holiday. i blew off work to go home early and make chicken alfredo... and i got all dressed up and... he came home late and empty handed. (he said he was empty handed because he was afraid id be upset cause he was late, so hurried home so that he wouldnt be any later...) it didnt matter much because we were gonna spend the weekend in Colorado in the snow and the mountains and the forrest, I was sick as a dog from thursday on. i slept from thursday at 11:am till friday 12:pm, thats not including the time i had slept before i woke up on thursday. i dont think i have ever slept that long in my life.

i keep having these strange dreams that people are trying to kill me some of them have a reason (lindsey) some of them dont (my boss) and some of them are people i want to injure (Chris the Piss) but im beginning to get paranoid.

speaking of paranoia, i got pulled over yesterday for no reason. no, not like im saying theres no reason but really i was speeding or driving with expired tags, there was actually no reason. i was driving downtown, (i never go downtown anymore but thats a seperate rant) so i couldnt have been speeding cause i was hitting every fucking red light on central (and there are a lot of fucking red lights) my car is insured and registered, my tail lights all work. i asked the officer if there was a problem and he just asked for my licence registration and proof of insurance. he ran them all it took like 20 mins. isnt that illegal, dont they need a reason to pull you over? the bastards! i dont mind getting pulled over when i ask for it, speeding, erratic lane changes whatever, i figure im asking for it. but when i do nothing, the bastards!

speaking of bastards. i have not gotten my W-2 from olan mills yet. its almost march people i would like to do my taxes. (ok so i wouldnt like to, but kinda have to the whole death and taxes thing, whatever) so i went down there yesterday to see if i could talk to someone about getting it. i wound up intimidating this poor guy named brian and yelling at danny's voicemail for no reason, except that he wasnt there so he could call mary and get it for me, and didn't call when he said he would, but he never did when i worked there, why would he now. he finally called me back at like 8:00 last night and left a strange drunk sounding message on my voicemail, that had nothing to do with the damned W-2, and now im upset he has my number.

when i left i wanted to avoid the freeway cause i wanted to avoid the construction at coors (when are they supposed to finish that?) so i decided to take central ( i dont know what i was thinking) i drove down the road by lindseys, and then i turned down her road. i was going to stop and talk to her, but halfway down the road i realized i didn't really know what to say. i just kept going i didnt even look to see if her car was there. (which in retrospect is difficult cause its this bright red thing right off the road). i dont know i keep playing a million different imaginary conversations between the two of us in my head. they all begin with i miss being your friend, and end with im sorry and me walking away having accomplished nothing.

i keep trying to get over her, but shes like a virus theres always some remnant of a memory waiting to pop back up. i miss having someone who gets me, even when i dont want them to with just a glance a gesture a word, broken french, horrid spanish. the problem is as much as i miss her i know its all my fault and i truly believe she is better off without me. so by some strange combination of cowardice and valor, i stay away.

i hate moving. but im searching for an apartment as we speak because i would like to finaly unpack my shit, and have a place of at least semi permanance. i dont plan on living in it for too long, but i want my own place without the fear of it being sold out from underneath my feet.

Sooo....

The dreaded V day approacheth. (ok so approacheth is not a word but it makes me happy so there :-P )

i got him a briefcase for valentines day. a briefcase and a card and a little stuffed dog that says "i ruff you". how pathetic. the briefcase is wonderful its leather, and its soft and supple and makes you want to sit there all day rubbing it. ok so maybe not quite but kinda. it was half off but still ridiculously expensive considering he is not an office job kind of guy, but i knew he really wanted it because... well because its renzo and hes nuts. the sad part is i know that his gift to me is going to be equally if not less romantic. both of us work tomorrow, i have meetings after work so i'll probably be getting home later than him, and i happen to hate this holiday. there was only once i can remember enjoying a valentines day that was the year he proposed and that wasnt even on valentines day, it was february 11th (or 9th or... gee im soo sentimental), and it wasnt even a very romantic proposal, he told me he couldnt hold on to my present any longer (he had just bought it that day) then he just got the ring stuck it on my finger and said "mine" and that was that. i became his with a star sapphire and white gold, forcefully shoved on my hand before i knew what was coming. could it have been more romantic, hell yes. would i trade that for anything in the world, no, probably not, even though i wasnt sure whether or not i was engaged for months afterward.

what was i ranting about...oh yeah i hate this holiday... i hate most holidays

holidays i hate
(and reasons i hate them)
valentines day- im jaded about romance (and many other things but thats a different story)
christmas- can we say commercialism and stress
thanksgiving- ugh leftovers
presidents day- so not a real holiday
st patricks day- too much green and hangovers
cinco de mayo- uh hello, american
memorial day- supposed to do that year round
labor day- reminds me that school starts waayy to early out here
columbus day- the fool didnt even know where he was


that basically leaves easter haloween and the fourth of july.
maybe im turning into Dreaneezer Scrooge

Somedays I Wish I Was Batman...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream

Up, up and away…away from me
It’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

Superman -Five For Fighting

...so that i could be a dark knight and kick major ass for the sake of vengance, and all that is good.

i had a hard day today, not hard as in difficult hard as in i am an emotional zombie right now. i got to work and theres always these two little girls that are there right at 6:45, today is payment day so i asked thier dad to go get the payment... while he was gone i noticed a bruise on one of the girls necks. i followed standard protocol and asked dad about it... thts where things got ugly. he said the girl was a liar and yelled at her for telling stories (i hadn't even asked her about them) then he backhanded the poor thing across the face right in front of me. i made the other person working with me take the girls and the rest of the kids to the cafeteria and call the cops i tried dealing with dad. i wanted to kill him, i literally wanted to grab the pen off my desk and stab it into his jugular. instead i just kept him from the girls and then let him run away cause i was afraid that he was going to hurt me. the idiot came back while i was writing out an incident report, the cops were in the cafeteria taking a report from the girls so i texted r- to tell her to send them over. i wanted so badly to hurt this man to yell and scream and belittle then skin and beat him, but i couldnt do anything, i couldnt even move, if i hadnt pissed him off enough to keep screaming at me he might be out there still. even thinking about it makes me sick. i have been dealing with cops and CYFD and CPS all day, those poor girls are going to become part of the system and i am afraid that they are going to get lost in it, and im afraid of what dad will do to them if they get out, and back to his hands. im kind of afraid for myself, when im angry i usually think i can take on just about anyone, but i'm afraid of this man.

hey sunshine, my eyes are up here!

so now i remember why i dont buy screen tees any more... i found this shirt i couldnt resist it has princess buttercup and wesley kissing on the front of it and it says "death cannot stop true love". i love hot topic they have something for everyone in there and i am so happy that they started carrying the princess bride stuff. so this shirt is wonderful in everyway except i keep noticing people staring at my chest and i am not sure if its at my tits or at the shirt. either way, i am completely unflattered, and have decided to stop wearing screen tees... except this one cause its wonderful, everyone needs a Dred Pirate Roberts in thier life.

phone drivers still havent arrived, im waiting patiently...

i am sick of luncheons... why do they even call them luncheons, they should call them torture, that'd be more accurate. the one i had today was particularly bad, the location was bad, the food was bad, the service was bad, (i didnt know hotel catering could be bad but whatever), but the seating chart was the worst. i got stuck sitting next to some ninty year old millionaire who kept trying to peek down my shirt, i was dressed professionaly, slacks, heels and a blouse, so its not like i was showing alot of cleavage or looked like a hooker or anything that would invite that sort of behavior, but there he was the whole damned time. hoping that his eyes would somehow gain x-ray vision, the man was also a chauvenist he kept calling me toots and telling me to do things for him, "go get me some ice cream toots, pick up that paper for me toots," and my favorite "you aint smart enough to understand toots" he told me what seemed like his entire life story, which despite the bile building up in my throat from trying not to sock him, was pretty interesting. he remembers the great depression and fought in both world wars along with a whole string of other things. his current wife, who looked to be about my age, was with him and seemed rather upset that he was talking to me at all. she neednt worry, she can have him. hes the kind of person i wish i had never met, he made me feel dirty and degraded and rather upset all around, but the piece de resistance was when he tried to play grab ass in the parking lot. i have decided that this is what hugh hefner is going to be like in thirty or so years, and there is a reason viagra isnt natural, and women who put up with sugar daddies like him, clearly dont get paid enough.

Electric Blue Nail Polish...

... and sandpaper hands, I look down and realize I really do need a manicure, and not just for masochistic reasons any more... my hands have been over washed over dried windblown and not moisturized nearly enough, i dont understand how, I slather lotion on my whole body three times a day and spend extra time with my hands, my palms are still soft and delicate but the outside is as cracked and dry as the rio grande riverbed in summer. I happen to like the electric blue nail polish, but my mother seems to think that i have grown too old for it, I say phooey! I'll give it up the same year I willingly give up halloween. She'd probably flip her lid if she realized I have the lipstick to match.

I'm going to Denver next weekend, a mini-vacation if you will, the whole gang is going, it should be fun.

I HATE CSR's, not the actual people, just thier jobs. I have been a customer service rep so I know its protocol nothing personal but damn! I have spent the last three days looking for affordable auto insurance and with the Boyscouts driving record, and my refusal to carry less than comprehensive despite the fact that my car is paid off, that is no easy task, and they werent making it any easier. Finally, I spent two hours on the phone this morning with a lovely independent agent, named Tamera from somewhere in California who got me set up for $277/mo, which is what he was paying for himself. I'm so happy, I may just pay off the six months. P.S. Geico is expensive and should be avoided like the plague!

So I'm trying to be less materialistic, but I got this really awesome phone this weekend, quad band, full webbrowsing, video, audio, Mp3, IM, full Organizer, Image editor, 32Mb memory card thats about the size of my pinky nail, a bunch of cool extras like conversions, timezones, awesome games (tetris! I have tetris!, and some other gamecube quality games)... and I cant get the fucking thing to sync with my computer. The USB driver wont load right, so my phone recognizes the computer, but the computer doesnt recognize the phone. I am ready to throw them both through the window, and technical support was of no help, i am getting new drivers sent but Oy Vey! I'm gonna shoot someone in the meanwhile.

the seven deadlies

"On the Vermont Transit Bus I leaned my arm into a little chink of sun/Going somewhere older than I was/Strapped into something tight, keeping me small/I dug into you like rock climbing/Too scared of coming down/Too scared of going up/Too scared of rock/faceI should've split my sides or spilled my guts or hit you or something/But I was good, and your father's little pancakes So round and perfect and me sitting up too straight/Laughing in wrong places, kissing you/Kissing up, kissing too soon" Heather Nova, Sugar

is it wrong that i am envious of a twelve year old little girl? there is this girl who basically lives at the library. she is here everytime i am here, i think she is homeschooled and her mother works here. im not sure. i dont talk to her, but every time i get here, shes in my corner, i suppose since she basically lives here she thinks its hers, but she is sadly mistaken. she always has her nose in a book a drawing on the table and her head in earphones... my kind of life. any who...

the seven deadlies

anger- ha ha! check
lust- check
greed- hmmm im american so... check
gluttony- 52 pairs of shoes? check check
sloth- sunday mornings (or any morning for that matter) check check check
pride- hmmmm.... sometimes check
envy- check

uh oh. im in trouble...

im so happy i slept six hours last night, it was lovely, im still exhausted, but it was lovely. hmmm
so the gas station i went to last night was being robbed as i was buying gas. quite amusing. i was putting gas (paying at the pump) and all of a sudden cops swarm in and this guy bolts and the cops tackle him like 10 feet from my car. so i, mitotiera that i am, was standing there watching the whole thing go down... i think i've been watching too much CSI cause the whole thing didnt phase me and im in a psycho overreactive mood lately. i didnt even consider the possiblity that i could have gotten shot or anything i just stood there and watched, pumped my gas, got in my car and left. i may have finally fallen off my rocker cause a major part of me is like "humph that was no big deal happens everyday"

i dont know what to get zo for v day. its always so fucking hard to shop for him cause everything he wants, he buys, and everytime i ask him what he wants he just says "head, head's good." so i think im just gonna skip the whole damned holiday this year. its quite pointless and i hate it anyway, its no fun without candy hearts and little paper valentines that say "be mine" but the last time i tried boycotting the holiday i wound up messing around with chris the piss while watching movies on my mothers couch. im still going to have a party in my class though, at least i still get those things from my class, and i had one little one make me promise i would be his valentine, but the eight year olds just dont make my heart pitter patter the way they used to when i was six.

im going to get a new phone next week Yay!! cause this one is held together by scotch tape :( i want a slvr but its only cingulair i want a razr but i heard they break i want a treo but im not ready to drop $400 for a phone ... or am i?

Happy 100th Post!

so i feel like piercing something.

i dont know why, and theres nothing i really want pierced, but i feel like getting pierced. or tattooed or... i dont know. im not going to though, cause that'd be stupid. maybe my masochistic tendencies will have to be resolved by getting a manicure by a small asian woman, thats always painful.

so im stressed out and PO'd this week and i'm not even PMSing... its all pure bitch, and im trying to avoid unleashing it upon the world. i havent been able to sleep much lately and i think its finally starting to show (which means if im realizing it people have been noticing for weeks.) im short fused im snappy im always tired and im hypersensitive. i keep waking up every couple of hours and it feels like everytime i do actually close my eyes to sleep its mere seconds before my alarm is screaming Chop Suey! at me. (wake up! grab a brush and put a little makeup! hide the scars to fade away the shakeup! left your keys up on the table! here you go create another fable! you wanted to) its a great song but i think i need something new to wake up to.

but there's good news (fuck! i still havent found car insurance and my policy expires on the fifth E-gads! i think ill just stick with Geico) im going to the Korn concert! yay!!!!!! its korn 10 years and mudvayne !!!! yay!!!! stupid scalpers bought all the floor seats so those start at like 150 each i aint paying 300 bucks for concert tickets, but im ok in the nosebleeds cheap seats, floor seats, hell, im just happy to be going. yay!!!!

i love left hand turns

"Where is your boy tonight?/ I hope he is a gentleman./ Maybe he won't find out what I know:/ you were the last good thing about this part of town./When I wake up,/ I'm willing to take my chances/ on the hope I forget that you hate him/ more than you notice /I wrote this for you /(for you, so...)/You need him. /I could be him.../I could be an accident but I'm still trying. /That's more than I can say for him." Fall Out Boy Grand Theft Autumn

i love left hand turns because they make it seem like i have more gas in my tank than i do... this is probably a bad thing and i should either slow my turns or get that fixed somehow... but i dont really want to do either.

when i first started dating lorenzo i thought he was a druglord cause he would come over every week with a different car. (hes not, only one was his the others were just random cars he had access to) i woke up yesterday walked outside and there was a brand new car sitting in my driveway and his car was missing. so im sitting here thinking oh my god what the hell did he do he just bought that damned car... but no, its a rental his is in the shop. (whew) but now i want to keep the new car cause its got balls. my dad is borrowing my car for the weekend cause hes taking my mom out of town for thier anniversary. they are in much better space than they were a year and two ago, so i guess looking back i am kind of happy they didnt get divorced, though i was hurt and angry at my dad for the longest time. (and still am to some extent) im glad me and my dad are at the point where we can act like family again, it will never be the way it was before, i dont think i can ever be a daddy's girl again, but i am secure in the knowledge that i will forever be my daddy's little girl, no matter how alike we are and how much we fight, i know i can make up by swallowing my pride and giving him a kiss and a "daddy i love you.". (does that make sense to anyone but me?)

so i just found out that my grandma (Nana) is going to be a great grandma. my cousin John pendejo that he is, is going to have a kid with his flavor of the week girlfriend. this would be cause for celebration but John is only 16, hes a borrachero, marijuano, whos bearly recovering from being hit by a truck, and is sooo not ready for a kid. i dont know about the girl... i cant even keep thier names straight. im just worried hes never gonna finish highschool and will forever be a burden on my Nana. speaking of my Nana, she just had her birthday and said shes finally old enough to be a grandma. that sixty is a good age. i wonder how shes taking the news that shes gonna be a great grandma at that "ripe old age". my goodness, she had her first child at 16(my dad), her first grandchild at 34(my sister), and now she will have her first great grandchild at 60(el bebe de este pendejo). i think shes way too young for this shit, at least my other grandmother is in her 70's... and they're waiting on me to be the first one to have a kid... shes gonna be waiting a looonnggg time. its too depressing to think about it... i cant imagine how my mom did it so young i dont know what my cousins gonna do i just hope he takes better care of the kid than his mom did for him the whole seven years she was interested. ugh im pissed and im gonna stick my foot in my mouth and cause another family feud, so i had better shut up.

pero este pendejo no tiene el cerebro para usar un condon, no debe ser chingar. nunca! nunca! nunca! esta un nino! esta como mi hermano pequeno! Estupido! el no lanza mejor lejos a este nino la manera que su mama lo lanzo lejos. que ella era un tecato estupido y el debe tener mas sentido que esa. y esta puta debe saber protegerse sea tambien. ellos sera estupidos? yo soy alegre todos lo que cogieron era un nino y no un algo mas. no soy tan listo perder a algun otro al SIDA.

but thats all im gonna say about that.