Whew!

"she would have done what she thought was right no matter where i was and us not being friends wasn't my idea."

oh but it was. it was my fault, but your idea. whatever. your over it, i'll pretend like i am too and we shall both move on. i'm hurt and i'm missing you and i dont want to get all catty, but i feel like i could be. whatever. walk away drea.

so im not fired which is a relief. i am rather upset though i did get a verbal warning. (a written verbal warning dont you love that) because they couldnt prove that i did have anything to do with it, and i cant prove that i didn't.

i dont steal. its just not the way i was brought up... i might occasionally borrow something for extended periods of time (i.e. forever) but its never intentional if ya want it back just ask its not mine I'll give it back. i work for what i have and i dont see the point in taking what i dont. i have been poor my entire life why would i want to change now, when i've finally gotten used to it?

my warning says something along the lines of i was responsible because i should have been more careful in the handeling of the cash. the shit of it is all i was involved in was counting it and sealing the envelope. but that was enough to garner punishment. whatever. i still have my job and i think that my boss believes that i didnt do it. the problem is i believe both T and M when they say they didnt. huh... go figure.

Should have stayed in bed

“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it seems as though they’re here to stay…” The Beatles (John Lennon?) and Boys II Men

Yesterday was supposed to be a wonderful day. I was to stay in my pj’s all day and work on paintings and sketches and whatever whimsy I felt like. Life never pans out the way we wish. I was having a good day yesterday I woke up early cause I had a nightmare ( it was really freaky! I dreamt that someone kept breaking into my house and stealing my favorite things, then killing one person I loved each night and finally the person went after me and it turned out to be Supes. He was choking me to death and then stopped for some reason, I convinced him I needed to go to the bathroom waited for him to fall asleep and ran to tell my parents what was going on. He burst into the room and said “I guess you don’t want to be beautiful anymore” started coming towards us and I woke up.)

So I woke up freaked out and decided to watch a movie since no one else would be awake at the godforsaken hour of 6:00. I watched a couple of chick flicks that no one ever wants to watch with me (not that I ever really want to watch them with anyone, last time I did I started crying and Supes started freaking out thinking there was something wrong with me, when really it was just a sad movie and I felt like crying… alot) and called a couple people who didn’t answer. I started playing with my new pen and ink set (its crazy fabulous! I have silver, gold, white, and a couple different black inks and all these great quill tips that make fantastic anime and realistic type drawings, and make me feel like I should start inking my own comic book)

around 11:00 I get a call from T. at the office who was wondering who was supposed to cover her lunch shift cause she needs to leave a little early, it wasn’t me but I was kinda bored with drawing and movies and the IMF by now (the IMF is the international music feed, its like MTV back when they used to show music videos, but global… its awesome.) so I got dressed real quick and went to work. Well M, who was supposed to cover T showed up. But my boss said we could both stay if we got such and such done if we wanted the hours. I’ve only worked like 8 hrs this week so I was like sure whatever. Well theres where the problem arose.

Everyone left its just M and I at the desk and some woman comes in and pays for her sons Preschool… in cash. We don’t normally process cash so M had to call T to ask her how to do it. So I'm calling people at this time to get overdue payments, and not really paying attention. M gets the payment writes the woman a receipt, puts the money in an envelope, hands the envelope to me I count the cash, verify the amount, she signs it and puts it with the other envelope that’s there. I finish working and leave at three o’clock when V and my boss get there, because although T’s not back yet… theres really nothing left for me to do, and I'm only working to escape boredom. I'm in a hurry to leave because Katwoman called and I wanted to call her back, before I wasn’t able to get a hold of her for six months.

I'm happily at home watching Bewitched and eating Danish butter cookies when I get a call from M… “hey did you see where that envelope went.” Ya, you put it behind the phone with the other one… “well the otherone is there but this one is not” what?! check behind the desk did it fall? I tell her to check everywhere because I know that the envelope was there when I left. (or at least I have no reason to think otherwise because I only saw it the one time and neither she nor I left the desk at any time.) she hangs up fifteen minutes later she calls back “The Boss lady wants to have a meeting with us at 12:30 tomorrow” so now here I am shitting bricks… I didn’t do any thing but I just know I'm gonna wind up taking the fall for this shit. I had another nightmare last night. I was in jail and they were interrogating me and they made me strip in front of all these people…

there’s 39 minutes till the meeting and I have a knot in my stomach the size of Texas. I really don’t wanna get fired for something I didn’t do… I’ve never been fired and I would like to think if I was I would have at least done something that deserved it. C’est la vie… I will know my fate in a few mins. I was talking to Katwoman cause all this was going on and I locked my keys in again cause I was so distracted (that’s 6 times in 3 mos. for those of you keeping track.) and was about to fall to pieces. She said just think about Lemony Snickett’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events… at least its not that bad…. But I was thinking you know what… its headed there.

Oooh Sparklies

so santa was real nice this year... i got four little boxes (my fav.) a great hand bag from my Nina, which really is fabulous, but i dont carry a $3 walmart purse for fear of losing it why would i carry a Chanel bag? and a bunch of other really great stuff... but speaking of losing things. i have decided that i singlehandedly keep the damn MVD in business, i lose my drivers licence at least once a year.... at least my photo is always updated... but i tend to look naked in them cause im wearing off the shoulder or, tank tops or whatever in them... maybe thats why i've only had one ticket... hmmm. and the lock smith, i keep money in his pocket too. my dad told me the other day that he has only locked his keys in the car once out of 31 years of driving... i have locked them in 5 times in the last three months, about 10 for the year and three of those times the damned car was running. people keep telling me im intelligent, all those stupid IQ tests and ACTs, and such say so, but after looking at statistics like this i cant say i agree.

gotta run try to finish posting later ;)

The Chestnuts are roasting and the house is on fire!

i am almost done with my xmas shopping. i woke up early and braved the mall. i didnt think i would come out alive.

this week i have made:

12 loaves Pumpkin bread
12 loaves Bannana nut bread
12 loaves Applesauce bread
6 loaves Cranberry bread
12 doz. Pumpkin cookies
24 doz. Peanut butter cookies
24 doz. Oatmeal rasin cookies
12 doz. Wedding cookies
12 doz. Mocha balls
48 doz. Drea's Infamous Chocolate Chip cookies

i still have to make:
snickerdoodles (i hate these things but they are lissa's fav. the brat!)
zebra crinkles
peanut butter bars
popcorn balls
biscochitos
pastelitos (plum and pumpkin)
empanadas (fruit and meat)
posole
and like a million tamales (mmm... tamales)

i hate christmas. it makes me feel like scrooge (BAH Humbug!!!) ok so i dont hate christmas. its just that i have been baking my little but off (and eating it back on) all week. i have wrapped three billion presents, and its all for one day... my only consolation is that my family loves to party and finds any little reason to do it (oh baby anthony's favorite color is red... lets throw a party!... oh Joseph and the kids are in town... lets have a party! oh Dominic broke up with his girlfriend... pobresito, lets throw him a party! oh he got a new girl friend? lets have another party!)

speaking of my family i have decided that they need to discuss the naming of the children with each other first.

in my family there are: (mind you this is just what i consider immediate family. aunts and uncles and first cousins)
five Josephs
three Anthonys
one Andrea and one Andra (both named after Andrew)
two Paulines
(everyones middle name is Marie except me i dont know how i escaped that curse me and Andra... i guess it doesnt go well with Andrea/ Andra)
two Benny's (but we call Dominic by his middle name)
two Max's (well one Max and one Maximiliano... same diff, and a Leo Max)
three Leos
two Roberts (and a Leo Robert)
two michaels (and one michelle)
two felix's
then theres the weirdos of the family patricia, delora, melissa, stephanie, yvette, yvonne, john, dawn, destiny, deserae, geri, rudy, cody, christine, linda, marcos, elizabeth, anna, hannah, nicholas, denver, georgana, gabriella, ... my point is the list is shorter on this side
my family is seriously lacking in the creativity department

i have to go but i leave you all with logic you cant argue with(you can argue the grammar but its hard to argue the logic)

"Miss Andrea, if im not supposed to poke my nose why come god made my finger to fit in there so perfect?"-CRA age 7

What is this white S*** on my car?

"IF I can stop one heart from breaking,/I shall not live in vain;/If I can ease one life the aching,/Or cool one pain,/Or help one fainting robin/ Unto his nest again,/I shall not live in vain."-Emily Dickinson

"Tell all the Truth but tell it slant---/Success in Circuit lies /Too bright for our infirm Delight /The Truth's superb surprise /As Lightning to the Children eased /With explanation kind /The Truth must dazzle gradually /Or every man be blind---" Emily Dickinson

so hey hi its been a while since i've posted ("its been a while since i've seen the way the candles light your face, its been a while but i can still remember just the way you taste... and everything i can remember as fucked up as it all may seem to be....") sorry i think of that song everytime i say "its been a while" ah Stained... such a good band. i need to go to a concert i havent been to a really good rock concert in.... well in like six years :(... ive been to concerts since then, even been to rock concerts... just not any really good ones... not since edgefest 5. ok so looking back.. it hasnt really been a while just seems like it i guess...

news in my life:
my sis is coming down for x-mas (yay!)
i still havent gotten ahold of her (Boo!)
my phone is going on tomorrow (yay!)
it snowed a couple of days ago (yay!)
it was melted by 9:am (boo!)
my boss put in for me to get a promotion behind my back (um... y.. i dunno)
im taking classes next semester (yay!)
i got a raise(yay!)
i am nowhere near done with christmas gifts (uh oh)

i finally got my butt down to the social security office to change my name, i didnt hyphenate, which is good because my name is already too damn long to begin with... but not cause i really like Jaramillo better than Aranda, only cause its soo close to my first name. (and they butcher it more than Jaramillo, i didnt think that was possible but it is) shit i was supposed to leave for work 10 mins ago... finish later .

Missing:

One Sister, Age 25, height 5'8ish, weight 1-something, black hair, Brown eyes... looks like younger sister only not as cute... if found please have her call her adorable younger (female) sibling who misses her very much.

get the hint Liss? give me a call you like dropped off the face of the planet.

quote for the day

"And you ask me what I want this year/And I try to make this kind and clear/Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days/Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings/And desire and love and empty things/Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days/So take these words/And sing out loud/Cuz everyone is forgiven now/Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again" -Goo Goo Dolls (my all time favorite song from them this week )

so i have been knitting and crocheting and sculpting and painting and drawing my little butt off to get my christmas gifts done, and im pooped. not even halfway through and i am beyond pooped. i am in a mood to write but everything thats coming out is utter crap... probably because my creativity is being spent in other places, i dont think i will have three decent words strung together till next May the way im going. :(

i got in a tiff with my boss this morning over my hours, she threatened not to pay me the overtime till january... i was extremely happy to be semi fluent in spanish so i could talk to her boss ( he speaks english but its so hard to understand him its not even worth it, besides hes from argentina and speaks beautiful spanish.) you cannot stiff someone 20 hrs of overtime just cause you dont feel like hiring someone else to do the work.

:(

"he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when youre awake. he knows if youve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake." -- The creepy stalker song.

The dredd pirate roberts is dead.

i think it got too cold for him and he died. i dont think im supposed to have pets anymore first yoda now him. i feel silly mourning a fish but, i am. i wanted a snake for christmas but now im reconsidering it i cant keep anything alive, not even a plant that needs minimum care. maybe some other time.

i am in a funk this week for no real reason, just a lot of little ones. my phone will be out for another week for those of you who are trying to call me, you can still get through but if i miss it... im sorry cant return the call.

oh shit! i just realized its only 16 days till christmas and i havent begun to make gifts, or shop, or even think about doing either one of these things.... can i make christmas just not exist this year? is that a possiblility? it doesnt feel the way it did in my childhood anyway, the exictement the kicking off of the season with baking and watching Rudolf and Jack Frost.... super cheestastic movies, but classics that i would watch with my mom to know its time to get ready for the season... i have been doing christmas crap with the kids all week and it still doesnt even feel like december. go figure. i have to run back to work now. so now that i have spread the christmas funk, ho ho ho go fu.... probably shouldnt say that... go fudge cookies.

:)

"did all these clouds around you break your fall/ as you came crashing to the ground/ did you learn anything at all/ you climb back up just to come back down"-Lifehouse

so my week has been crazy i have had one person quit on me cause i told them they had to come to work had to fire another because she didnt come to work (didnt call, nothing) i dont like firing people im a nice person waayyy deep down.

one of my workers cant work because shes having heath issues and it is just justine and I holding down the fort. i doing the best with what i got but argh! i need help and there is none to be given.

my phone is disconnected again but thats because i had to make the choice between phone or food this week, not because i forgot it again. it will have to wait till friday along with everything else, and i will have to figure out a way to deal without it for three days. :(

i feel like everything is falling down around my ears and i have given up trying to catch it. my week has been fabulously horrid but i am going to keep smiling because there is nothing else i can do, right?

katwoman and sharada should be coming into town soon i havent spoken to sharada in about a year... kat and me are like peas and carrots very different but we fit together fine no matter how long we've been apart, me and sharada are not the same... everytime she comes to town i find myself faced with a new person and it is always uncomfortable at best, we get along fine by the time she leaves but the inbetween is horrid. i get along better with cheryl which is weird because cheryl and i couldnt get along to save our lives back in high school. who knows i think i am going to skip out on christmas tradition anyway... make it easier for lindsey so she doesnt have to feel weird with me there.

i want to wish them both the best of the holiday seasons but im sure it will feel fake and cold and distant, though thats not how i feel at all.

Just Keep Swimming

Friday December 2nd 2005
“I can’t stand to fly I'm not that naive, men weren’t meant to ride with clouds between their knees… I am only a man in a funny red sheet, even heroes have the right to bleed, and it’s not easy to be me.” – Superman (I don’t know the name of the band, katwoman would know but I don’t)

So my rant today is about women having to be multifaceted creatures. Supes got in a car wreck yesterday, and today he was declared a liability and let go from his job. He has never been any good with money so he has none saved for a crisis like this I blew all I had on vacation so we are in deep kimchi. I am dying inside I am freaking out and wondering how the hell we are going to deal with this and get through Christmas… but I am not allowing it to show outside. I have become superwoman on the outside all powerful capable of anything. I have held my three hundred pound side kick like a baby when he needed it after times as shitty as these, and today I have reassured him that everything is going to be ok… I need him to do the same for me once it all is ok and I allow myself to show emotion. How can we do that? Put on a mask as long as we need it… women are strong as stone and delicate as flowers, we are leather and lace, we are so many contradictory things… why? Is it all women or is it just me and my family. i find the need to be so many different things on so many different occasions. I am glad I am not going to be a mother any time soon, I don’t think I am ready to take on more roles, Gestapo, nurse, security blanket, vending machine, carry all…. All those things that mothers become. Ugh not any time soon!

***

Ok so I can stop freaking out he found another job before I could even get out of work… he doesn’t start till the 19th which means he wont get paid till after Christmas but we’ll be fine somehow, every thing works out ok in the end, (I'm hoping for spectacular but I can deal with ok) so back to my rant from earlier today… multifaceted women. Ha! perfect example I was a mess earlier today and now I am cool calm collected… I had this whole essay about what I was thinking of and in the course of my day, dealing with life or death he stole my pencil kind of crises and the stress of everything going on in the real world I have forgotten what I was going to talk about… all I remember is this women do not make good men and should not dress up as such, men can pull it off for some freaky reason but women cannot cross dress… I don’t get why they do anyway, if you are going to be a lesbian be a lesbian and sleep with women by all means, they are beautiful creatures, (which is why I assume is why men like to dress like them) but why choose an alternative life style and then date someone who looks like a man (or woman for the men) anyway? I actually understand the men dressing as women more than vice versa just because it is a whole lot of fun to get all gussied up, make-up, hair, nails, the clothes, the heels…. But dressing like a man, not so much its like your hiding your beauty… I don’t get it. I'm sure I will just piss some one off with this statement, eh I'm getting used to it, but I just don’t understand. The other thing is why do women wear ugly four inch heels? If you are going to commit to the four inches they could be pretty. I am a freak about shoes… some people come home from work and put on tennies I come home and put on heels. I wear tennies all day because all day long I am playing soccer or hackey sac or chasing kids or playing football or doing yoga or…. You get the idea… besides they’re little people I don’t need to give them a height complex. So I come home and I put on my pretty clothes and my pretty heels because I love being a girl. (and because everyone I know is at least 6” taller than me :( ) anyway back to what I was saying before… (I'm not all over the place can you tell?) everyday this woman comes in wearing four inch pumps… old granny pumps, the ones that are usually an inch tops… I don’t know where she got these shoes but I need to find the place so I can burn it down. The woman is dressed impeccably but the shoes, dear god the shoes are killing me. She has plenty of cute flats and I’ve even seen some stilettos that are both professional and sexy despite being a slightly lower heel. But these pumps… they have a square toe are plain black leather and have a huge heel… I don’t get it…. I know she can walk in stilettos, so I know that she can walk in something just a little thinner than what she has on everyday. The shoes make her legs look great but kill everything else, then again the woman still has a 1980’s hair-do so maybe she thinks they are fashionable… not that I am one to talk about hair, my own is usually either a frizzy mess or in a bun with chopsticks… 0k so I have ventured far, far from what I was originally gonna say and have ranted for way too long about trivial things so I will end here (though I would much rather be concerned with trivialities right now.)

Good News???

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.... Oh wait I already have Geico. Damn.

"just leave me alone/I'm just another woman lost/you are like fish in the water/who don't know that they are wet/as far as i can tell/the world isn't perfect yet" Ani D'Franco

so yeah... My boss just told me that i might be moving up the corporate ladder and get a not so insignificant raise, and health benefits.... But she said i would be working more hours and have more responsibilities... The more responsibilities part is fine and all that makes sense with the more money but more hours... Damn who do they think i am superhuman? I'm working 45+/week as it is :( i need another vacation... But the mess i came back to on Monday made me think i will never go out of town again.

i don't think i should be promoted... I'm supposed to be working right now and I'm blogging and talking on the instant messenger. i don't see how they say i am productive, but i suppose i would be if i were actually working. I'm just not professional enough to have a position of higher power and i don't think that i should accept. (i don't think i should even be considered but hey, whatever its the YMCA they're crazy) so what to do i have to give my answer by Monday

the money would be nice, the hours are no surprise, benefits are nice, but i need to decide if it is the best thing for the kids, and for myself.... Mostly for the kids cause its all pretty much a benefit to me. hmmmm....