so i would like to thank everyone who donated i made $125 (yay!) 25 online and $100 in cash, and for those of you who couldn't donate i understand, i've been there thats why i walk not donate and for those of you who just didn't want to, a pox on you mr Scrooge!
so the walk was intersesting i thought i was going to be alone cause justine bailed out but i ran into Susan Smith, one of the teachers from my work, who is just a total sweetheart, and she invited me to join her church group, so i got to walk with them and i had fun. i might even go to church there tomorrow... nah. we all know i'm not big on church and if my grandmother were to find out that i was going to a church on the other side of town when i refused to go to hers so i could sing in the choir, i will be dead meat. that, and i really don't like church, i wind up leaving feeling dirty. (that and the holy water burns)
so i posted a letter that i shouldnt have and got a couple people very pissed off at me and i am considering taking it off... but i wont, why because its my life too, and its what i was feeling at that time and when i ran across it again i felt like posting it. this thing is my brain, its my life its my memories, if you dont like what is on here stop reading the damned thing.
i went apartment hunting yesterday, i think i found one, now i just have to work on furniture, but i dont know if i want to do the furniture first or the apartment first, i'm thinking apartment because living with my dad is driving me insane.
uh.. i dont really have much to post, right now i'm supposed to be at the library going over divorce papers but i really didnt want to do that today so i got up did my JDRF walk and came here to my sisters to shoot the shit and bum lunch. now i am going to go home and read and fill out the papers on my own, get all the petitions i need together, because if i dont, it won't get done, and i am ready for this to be done.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
yet another thing ripped off kats blog
So I'm posting a survey!!! Hee hee hee... Warning: It's not the most interesting I've ever posted...mostly I'm just bored out of my mind.
Name 3 things in your purse/wallet:
1.) voter registration card
2.) four bucks
3.) flash drive
Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed:
1.) run
2.) rant
3.) paint
Name 3 favorite fruits:
1.) mangos
2.) pomegranites
3.) watermelon
Three names you go by:
1.) Drea
2.) TU!!!!
3.) Miss New Boss
Three of your Favorite restaurants:
1.) Garcias
2.) Fuddruckers
3.) Amadeos
Three things you are wearing right now
1.) teal tank top
2.) grey yoga pants
3.) superman hat
The WHO'S
Who is in the house with you? My sister (i'm at her house)
Who was the last person to IM you? tough one, probably domenick.
Who are you thinking about right now? spike the snake
Who did you last talk to on the phone? have to check... my lissa
Who's house did you last go to? uh duh lissa's
Whose birthday is next?oh fuck... i dont even wanna hear it.... ummm... kelly's?
The WHERE'S
Where do you sleep? on the most uncomfortable cot in the world at my parents house.
Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?uh... wal-mart? oh the gap
Where is the last place you took a ride to?wal-mart my sister needed eyeliner
The WHAT'S
What is currently making you mad??I make me madder than anything else. uh... my ex and his inability to communicate anything to me except guilt
What was the last thing you ate? ice cream
What color pants are you wearing?grey
What is the closest item near you that is blue?my ring or post its
What's your favorite color?dont have one (yeah i know i'm a freak) hmmm... blue?
What is your favorite website?i dont really have one... yahoo.com?
What is your favorite shoe brand? definitely not nike, i'm mad at them my running shoes have a hole in the sole after only four months (although i have had a lot of stress lately) Steve Maddens, they are sexy as fuck
What is the last movie you watched?wow good question its been a while shopgirl at home and the Lake House at the movies... wait thats not the last one... but i dont remember the other one.
What song do you currently hear? ceartianly Erykah Badhu
The WHEN'S
When did you meet your best friend?Kat was in 9th grade Rikki was last year or so
When did you last go to the mall? last pay day with Justine shoe shopping, and i bought nothing, i should be proud but i feel slightly deprived
When's the last time you bought a pair of jeans?hmmm i need to buy jeans uh... last year, 18 months ago something like that
When did you last burn a candle?Last week when i took a bath, not to say last week was the last time i bathed but, well you get what i mean.
Name 3 things in your purse/wallet:
1.) voter registration card
2.) four bucks
3.) flash drive
Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed:
1.) run
2.) rant
3.) paint
Name 3 favorite fruits:
1.) mangos
2.) pomegranites
3.) watermelon
Three names you go by:
1.) Drea
2.) TU!!!!
3.) Miss New Boss
Three of your Favorite restaurants:
1.) Garcias
2.) Fuddruckers
3.) Amadeos
Three things you are wearing right now
1.) teal tank top
2.) grey yoga pants
3.) superman hat
The WHO'S
Who is in the house with you? My sister (i'm at her house)
Who was the last person to IM you? tough one, probably domenick.
Who are you thinking about right now? spike the snake
Who did you last talk to on the phone? have to check... my lissa
Who's house did you last go to? uh duh lissa's
Whose birthday is next?oh fuck... i dont even wanna hear it.... ummm... kelly's?
The WHERE'S
Where do you sleep? on the most uncomfortable cot in the world at my parents house.
Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?uh... wal-mart?
Where is the last place you took a ride to?wal-mart my sister needed eyeliner
The WHAT'S
What is currently making you mad??I make me madder than anything else. uh... my ex and his inability to communicate anything to me except guilt
What was the last thing you ate? ice cream
What color pants are you wearing?grey
What is the closest item near you that is blue?my ring or post its
What's your favorite color?dont have one (yeah i know i'm a freak) hmmm... blue?
What is your favorite website?i dont really have one... yahoo.com?
What is your favorite shoe brand? definitely not nike, i'm mad at them my running shoes have a hole in the sole after only four months (although i have had a lot of stress lately) Steve Maddens, they are sexy as fuck
What is the last movie you watched?wow good question its been a while shopgirl at home and the Lake House at the movies... wait thats not the last one... but i dont remember the other one.
What song do you currently hear? ceartianly Erykah Badhu
The WHEN'S
When did you meet your best friend?Kat was in 9th grade Rikki was last year or so
When did you last go to the mall? last pay day with Justine shoe shopping, and i bought nothing, i should be proud but i feel slightly deprived
When's the last time you bought a pair of jeans?hmmm i need to buy jeans uh... last year, 18 months ago something like that
When did you last burn a candle?Last week when i took a bath, not to say last week was the last time i bathed but, well you get what i mean.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
hastings has $.49 books
Coffee makes me feel like superwoman.
It’s hard to play hooky and still feel like superwoman, but damned if I’m not gonna try.
Today I have:
Gone to work
Substituted
Gone to the office
Gotten breakfast
Gone book shopping
Gone to my grandmothers house
Gone running
Saved a chipmunk
Gone to work
Gone home
Gotten the salaries and childcare rates for 20 places in Albuquerque
Baked bread
Read up on divorce in New Mexico
Balanced my checkbook
Made dinner
Started filling out the petition for divorce
Cleaned my room
Cleaned out my car
Planned out my schedule for next week
Finished my ironing
And its only 6:15
Divorce in a box
So I’m feeling kind of scummy cause I bought the divorce in a box (its not called that, it is called “the simplified divorce kit for no fault divorces”) and I’m actually contemplating using it, because it will save me time and money spent on an attorney, two things I don’t have. But I still feel scummy.
Under this national rain cloud
I’m getting soaked to the skin
Trying to find my umbrella
But I don’t know where to begin
And its simply irrational weather
I can’t even hear myself think
Constantly bailing out water
But still feel like I’m gonna sink
Cause I’m under the weather,
Just like the world
So sorry for being so bold
When I turn out the light
You’re out of sight
Although I know that I’m not alone
It feels like home
You say you feel like a natural person
You haven’t got nothing to hide
So why do you feel imperfection
Cut like a sword in your side
Cause you’re under the weather
Just like the world
Sorry for being so bold
I turn out the light
You’re out of sight
Although I know I’m alone
It feels like home
Don’t wanna be second best
Don’t wanna stand in line
Don’t wanna fall behind
Don’t wanna get caught out
Don’t wanna do without
And the lesson I must learn
Is that I’ve got to wait my turn
Looks like I gotta be hot and cold
Gotta be taut and old
Gotta be good as gold
But perfectly honestly
I think I won’t pick that for me
Cause it’s a hindrance to my health
If I’m a stranger to myself
Miniature disasters
And minor catastrophes
Bring me to my knees
Well I must be my own master
Or the miniature disasters will be
Will be the death of me
I don’t have to raise my voice
Don’t have to be underhand
Just gotta understand
That it’s gonna be up and down
Gonna be lost and found
And I can’t take to the sky
Before I like it on the ground
And I need to be patient
And I need to be brave
And I need to discover
How I need to behave
And I’ll find all the answers
When I know what to ask
But I speak a different language
And everyone’s talking too fast
The letter I wrote him the first time (last August) found amongst the many, many boxes of shit I have been delegated to go through on my own:
Dear Lorenzo,
I haven’t written a letter to you in a very long time. If you are reading this, it means I royally fucked up what I was trying to say.
I love you. This is a fact that I know will never change. I will love you until the day I die…
I’m leaving you. It’s not because of anything you’ve done, and I do not love you any less than the day I first started; I am leaving you because I am no longer sure of myself.
You and I are in two different worlds, I have been trying for years to fit into yours. I feel like a square peg in a round hole, I can’t be anything other than who I am and I shouldn’t have to be. It has taken me five years and a lot of growing to realize this. I cannot hold you back from the things you want to do but I cannot allow myself to be held back either. But I am. You don’t do this to me intentionally but I want so many things and I can’t allow myself to do them because of what I feel it will do to you.
I do not want this to be a goodbye. I have just come to terms with the fact that I am growing up, and I fear growing away from you. I have no patience for you lately. I need a break I don’t know how long it will be. I would like you to be willing to wait for me, but I will understand if you can’t, I will cross that bridge when I get there; this one is hard enough for me as it is. I will always love you, but right now that’s not enough because I need to learn to love myself. I don’t know this person I have become. I have lost sight of my goals because I am trying to adjust my life around you. If I didn’t love you anymore this would be so much easier, but its not.
I would marry you tomorrow if you asked, and if you asked my dad for my hand. But I know that will never happen.
You haven’t done anything wrong; I just need more life experience than I can get with you. I need to finish school; to see what I want; to take opportunities that I couldn’t if I were worried about you the whole time. I need to discover who I truly am, I am afraid that I will never be completely happy with you until I can be completely happy with myself without you. I need to be a whole person, need to be a complete adult, and I need the same from you in order to have any chance for our relationship to stand the strain of time and life.
I am scared and confused.
I am afraid that I will marry you and we will end in divorce a few years down the line, or even worse that we will stay together forever ruining our chance at the happiness life could possibly have in store.
I am leaving and I’m sorry
Love,
Xuppy
I hate it when I’m right. All the reasons I listed for leaving him the first time (and then some) were still true, and we are ending in divorce, it hasn’t even been a year. I should have never run back to him but I did because he was safe and known, and it felt like the rest of my life was falling down around my ears. I needed a safe harbor and I thought I found it in him, but he could not protect me from the harm he was inflicting himself. I knew as I was walking down the aisle that I should not have been doing what I was doing, but I did it anyway, and I have deeply hurt him and myself in the process. It would have been much easier if I had just said no, it would have been much easier to say no if his grandmother was not there, and his grandmother wouldn’t have been there if he hadn’t spilled the beans. but I have no one to blame but myself, I should have had the strength to put a stop to things before they got to that point, but I saw my chance at a secure life and I decided to take it. Security is overrated. All I want now is my independence, something I haven’t really known since, well since ever. I want to put this behind me and I don’t want to hurt him any more than I have. I will think long and hard before I get married again, if I ever do decide to get married again.
Poem I wrote on him the last time I slept with him, it was a very sensual experience before the world crashed
i’d forgotten
how
big
your feet were
until
i laid mine on yours
one
across your toes
one
across the heel
and realized
they didn’t touch
i’d forgotten
how
small and delicate
your
big
rough hands
could
make me feel
until
they were inside me
and
i was
lost
i’d forgotten
how
your
long loving arms
could make
the passion inside me
burn
until
you wrapped one
around my waist
and pulled me
by
my shoulder
into you
completely
i’d forgotten
how
your heart sounds
until
i laid
my head
on
your chest
and felt
life
caress my cheek
i didn’t forget
that you love me
or that I love you
and
always
will.
i didn’t forget
my
favorite spot
below the
ear
or
how to
drive you crazy
with a smile
i want to
keep
the memories
inside
me
in
my skin
or
in
my heart
it is there the
memories remain
is it harder
to
keep them
to the flesh
or
to the brain
or
to relinquish
all three
to my pen
you are mine
and i
i am yours
and we will be
forever
even
after the end
even
after life goes on
and
i
will never
allow
myself
to forget
again
I know this is TMI for you people, but I need to get laid. I need that physical connection, I would like the emotional connection, but I don’t know if I will ever have that again. In a perfect world, but the world isn’t perfect, it’s the only one I have. My pillow just cant compare, cant love me back the way I wish it could, it doesn’t smell like a man, it doesn’t feel like a man, in my dreams it is my man, but this is not enough. On the other hand something in my heart is telling me I’m not ready, that I still need to heal. If the man who was supposed to love me for the rest of my life can up and leave my bed for another woman, what could John Q. Sample do? I still feel like I wasn’t worth the effort to him, and I don’t know if I ever will be to anyone, the love of my life included.
It’s hard to play hooky and still feel like superwoman, but damned if I’m not gonna try.
Today I have:
Gone to work
Substituted
Gone to the office
Gotten breakfast
Gone book shopping
Gone to my grandmothers house
Gone running
Saved a chipmunk
Gone to work
Gone home
Gotten the salaries and childcare rates for 20 places in Albuquerque
Baked bread
Read up on divorce in New Mexico
Balanced my checkbook
Made dinner
Started filling out the petition for divorce
Cleaned my room
Cleaned out my car
Planned out my schedule for next week
Finished my ironing
And its only 6:15
Divorce in a box
So I’m feeling kind of scummy cause I bought the divorce in a box (its not called that, it is called “the simplified divorce kit for no fault divorces”) and I’m actually contemplating using it, because it will save me time and money spent on an attorney, two things I don’t have. But I still feel scummy.
Under this national rain cloud
I’m getting soaked to the skin
Trying to find my umbrella
But I don’t know where to begin
And its simply irrational weather
I can’t even hear myself think
Constantly bailing out water
But still feel like I’m gonna sink
Cause I’m under the weather,
Just like the world
So sorry for being so bold
When I turn out the light
You’re out of sight
Although I know that I’m not alone
It feels like home
You say you feel like a natural person
You haven’t got nothing to hide
So why do you feel imperfection
Cut like a sword in your side
Cause you’re under the weather
Just like the world
Sorry for being so bold
I turn out the light
You’re out of sight
Although I know I’m alone
It feels like home
Don’t wanna be second best
Don’t wanna stand in line
Don’t wanna fall behind
Don’t wanna get caught out
Don’t wanna do without
And the lesson I must learn
Is that I’ve got to wait my turn
Looks like I gotta be hot and cold
Gotta be taut and old
Gotta be good as gold
But perfectly honestly
I think I won’t pick that for me
Cause it’s a hindrance to my health
If I’m a stranger to myself
Miniature disasters
And minor catastrophes
Bring me to my knees
Well I must be my own master
Or the miniature disasters will be
Will be the death of me
I don’t have to raise my voice
Don’t have to be underhand
Just gotta understand
That it’s gonna be up and down
Gonna be lost and found
And I can’t take to the sky
Before I like it on the ground
And I need to be patient
And I need to be brave
And I need to discover
How I need to behave
And I’ll find all the answers
When I know what to ask
But I speak a different language
And everyone’s talking too fast
The letter I wrote him the first time (last August) found amongst the many, many boxes of shit I have been delegated to go through on my own:
Dear Lorenzo,
I haven’t written a letter to you in a very long time. If you are reading this, it means I royally fucked up what I was trying to say.
I love you. This is a fact that I know will never change. I will love you until the day I die…
I’m leaving you. It’s not because of anything you’ve done, and I do not love you any less than the day I first started; I am leaving you because I am no longer sure of myself.
You and I are in two different worlds, I have been trying for years to fit into yours. I feel like a square peg in a round hole, I can’t be anything other than who I am and I shouldn’t have to be. It has taken me five years and a lot of growing to realize this. I cannot hold you back from the things you want to do but I cannot allow myself to be held back either. But I am. You don’t do this to me intentionally but I want so many things and I can’t allow myself to do them because of what I feel it will do to you.
I do not want this to be a goodbye. I have just come to terms with the fact that I am growing up, and I fear growing away from you. I have no patience for you lately. I need a break I don’t know how long it will be. I would like you to be willing to wait for me, but I will understand if you can’t, I will cross that bridge when I get there; this one is hard enough for me as it is. I will always love you, but right now that’s not enough because I need to learn to love myself. I don’t know this person I have become. I have lost sight of my goals because I am trying to adjust my life around you. If I didn’t love you anymore this would be so much easier, but its not.
I would marry you tomorrow if you asked, and if you asked my dad for my hand. But I know that will never happen.
You haven’t done anything wrong; I just need more life experience than I can get with you. I need to finish school; to see what I want; to take opportunities that I couldn’t if I were worried about you the whole time. I need to discover who I truly am, I am afraid that I will never be completely happy with you until I can be completely happy with myself without you. I need to be a whole person, need to be a complete adult, and I need the same from you in order to have any chance for our relationship to stand the strain of time and life.
I am scared and confused.
I am afraid that I will marry you and we will end in divorce a few years down the line, or even worse that we will stay together forever ruining our chance at the happiness life could possibly have in store.
I am leaving and I’m sorry
Love,
Xuppy
I hate it when I’m right. All the reasons I listed for leaving him the first time (and then some) were still true, and we are ending in divorce, it hasn’t even been a year. I should have never run back to him but I did because he was safe and known, and it felt like the rest of my life was falling down around my ears. I needed a safe harbor and I thought I found it in him, but he could not protect me from the harm he was inflicting himself. I knew as I was walking down the aisle that I should not have been doing what I was doing, but I did it anyway, and I have deeply hurt him and myself in the process. It would have been much easier if I had just said no, it would have been much easier to say no if his grandmother was not there, and his grandmother wouldn’t have been there if he hadn’t spilled the beans. but I have no one to blame but myself, I should have had the strength to put a stop to things before they got to that point, but I saw my chance at a secure life and I decided to take it. Security is overrated. All I want now is my independence, something I haven’t really known since, well since ever. I want to put this behind me and I don’t want to hurt him any more than I have. I will think long and hard before I get married again, if I ever do decide to get married again.
Poem I wrote on him the last time I slept with him, it was a very sensual experience before the world crashed
i’d forgotten
how
big
your feet were
until
i laid mine on yours
one
across your toes
one
across the heel
and realized
they didn’t touch
i’d forgotten
how
small and delicate
your
big
rough hands
could
make me feel
until
they were inside me
and
i was
lost
i’d forgotten
how
your
long loving arms
could make
the passion inside me
burn
until
you wrapped one
around my waist
and pulled me
by
my shoulder
into you
completely
i’d forgotten
how
your heart sounds
until
i laid
my head
on
your chest
and felt
life
caress my cheek
i didn’t forget
that you love me
or that I love you
and
always
will.
i didn’t forget
my
favorite spot
below the
ear
or
how to
drive you crazy
with a smile
i want to
keep
the memories
inside
me
in
my skin
or
in
my heart
it is there the
memories remain
is it harder
to
keep them
to the flesh
or
to the brain
or
to relinquish
all three
to my pen
you are mine
and i
i am yours
and we will be
forever
even
after the end
even
after life goes on
and
i
will never
allow
myself
to forget
again
I know this is TMI for you people, but I need to get laid. I need that physical connection, I would like the emotional connection, but I don’t know if I will ever have that again. In a perfect world, but the world isn’t perfect, it’s the only one I have. My pillow just cant compare, cant love me back the way I wish it could, it doesn’t smell like a man, it doesn’t feel like a man, in my dreams it is my man, but this is not enough. On the other hand something in my heart is telling me I’m not ready, that I still need to heal. If the man who was supposed to love me for the rest of my life can up and leave my bed for another woman, what could John Q. Sample do? I still feel like I wasn’t worth the effort to him, and I don’t know if I ever will be to anyone, the love of my life included.
Monday, September 11, 2006
November Baby
yet another random chain mail that amused me much more than it should have. i think the person who wrote it was a december baby though.
'njoy
*JANUARY BABY* Pretty/Handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Smart. Honest and loyal.Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Trustworthy.Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn. Hardworking. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance your personality.
*FEBRUARY BABY * Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing pers onality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Carries a jealous streak.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone new and realize that you are a perfect match.
*MARCH BABY* Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your new love in 8 days.
*APRIL BABY * Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concernedand! detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever andknowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, m usic, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye will make an introduction to you will realize that you are very much alike in the next 2 days.
*MAY BABY * born and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts.! Easily angered. Deep feelings . Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike beingat home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will bec ome close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
*JUNE BABY * You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends. You are very outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. A wicked hottie. Adventouse, Ambitious, Traveler, Kind Hearted and very determined to reach goals. Loves life and lives it to the fullest . It is also more than likely that you have a massive CD collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you will meet someone that may possibly become one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5 minutes.
*JULY BABY* Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Waits for friends. Forgiving but never forgets. Guides others physically and mentally. ensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Strong sense of sympathyWary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the ne xt 12 days
*AUGUST BABY* Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control.kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easyto get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. Patient.in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5 mins and you will meet the love of your life sometime next month.
*SEPTEMBER BABY* Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5 mins, someone very close to you will become mad at you in the next 8 days.
*OCTOBER BABY * Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Very emotional. Moody most of the time. Stubborn. hates studying.Lies. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Easily hurt. Very emotional and temperamental. Too sensitive and outspoken when you should be listening.Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Loves attention.Unpredictable. . repost this in 5 mins
*NOVEMBER BABY* Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Loves music.Very mysterious. Playful, but secretive. Very Sexy. Independent. Center of attention.Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because they're one of a kind. repost in 5 mins & you will excell in a major event coming up sometime this month.
*DECEMBER BABY* This straight-up means your the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easyto talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced! by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Fussy.pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. [A hott new guy/girl will catch your eye & you will catch theirs too in the next 6days, if you repost in 5min
'njoy
*JANUARY BABY* Pretty/Handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Smart. Honest and loyal.Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Trustworthy.Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn. Hardworking. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance your personality.
*FEBRUARY BABY * Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing pers onality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Carries a jealous streak.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone new and realize that you are a perfect match.
*MARCH BABY* Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your new love in 8 days.
*APRIL BABY * Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concernedand! detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever andknowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, m usic, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye will make an introduction to you will realize that you are very much alike in the next 2 days.
*MAY BABY * born and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts.! Easily angered. Deep feelings . Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike beingat home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will bec ome close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
*JUNE BABY * You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends. You are very outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. A wicked hottie. Adventouse, Ambitious, Traveler, Kind Hearted and very determined to reach goals. Loves life and lives it to the fullest . It is also more than likely that you have a massive CD collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you will meet someone that may possibly become one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5 minutes.
*JULY BABY* Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Waits for friends. Forgiving but never forgets. Guides others physically and mentally. ensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Strong sense of sympathyWary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the ne xt 12 days
*AUGUST BABY* Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control.kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easyto get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. Patient.in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5 mins and you will meet the love of your life sometime next month.
*SEPTEMBER BABY* Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5 mins, someone very close to you will become mad at you in the next 8 days.
*OCTOBER BABY * Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Very emotional. Moody most of the time. Stubborn. hates studying.Lies. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Easily hurt. Very emotional and temperamental. Too sensitive and outspoken when you should be listening.Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Loves attention.Unpredictable. . repost this in 5 mins
*NOVEMBER BABY* Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Loves music.Very mysterious. Playful, but secretive. Very Sexy. Independent. Center of attention.Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because they're one of a kind. repost in 5 mins & you will excell in a major event coming up sometime this month.
*DECEMBER BABY* This straight-up means your the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easyto talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced! by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Fussy.pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. [A hott new guy/girl will catch your eye & you will catch theirs too in the next 6days, if you repost in 5min
mmm... double veggie teriyaki bowl.
"The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is." -Winston Churchill
its the best lunch ever.
so i have become a workaholic.
i got in my car and started driving and it brought me here, back to the site. i wasn't intending on coming here but here i am.
i have decided i need to live up to my potential.
ok so this is a duh statement, but really people have been telling me my whole life i am capable of so much more and i've sort of just slacked off and ignored it.
i was in the shower yesterday and i had tried sneaking something past my mom and she discovered it and my smart ass reply was no one's ever accused me of being smart. and she said no, thats the problem you're three points away from genius and you act like your three points below average. which was like ouch. but then i realized, you know what... she's right.
so what am i to do? i have no time because like i said before i am a workaholic. i've been working 12 hour days (ok so i take a two hour lunch, so it translates into ten hour days) and then i work more when i get home and by the time i go to bed i have only a couple hours to myself before i get up and do it all over again.
damnit i just spilled teriyaki on my shirt.
so i need to come up with someway to 1. find my potential and then 2. live up to it.
what should i do? and does it have to be public?
1. finish school.
- this is definitely on my list i dont know what i want out of life still but i know i need a degree if i am to get anywhere in this world. i have finally decided i am going to major in studio art and minor in english, this is going to be difficult but this is what i want. so let it be written so let it be done etc.. etc..
2. do something important with my life
- this is why i like my current job, i get to work with kids and help some of them see thier potential, thier self worth, it is the most rewarding part of my job. unfortunately i'm kind of limited where i'm at right now, i see chance to do so much but i am lacking what it takes...
3. make a difference in someone elses life
-i try to do this every day, i dont know how successful am with this but i try i think i'm gonna start doing things to help the community, like get off my hiney and vote, join the junior diabeaties walk this saturday. do the trek for trash to help clean albuquerque. i want to save the world, i know this is impossble but i will do my best to save my part of it.
4. become fluent in french and spanish and possibly another language...
at this rate i need to work on english.
ok thats enough of that. its a start and i will accomplish as much as i can.
its the best lunch ever.
so i have become a workaholic.
i got in my car and started driving and it brought me here, back to the site. i wasn't intending on coming here but here i am.
i have decided i need to live up to my potential.
ok so this is a duh statement, but really people have been telling me my whole life i am capable of so much more and i've sort of just slacked off and ignored it.
i was in the shower yesterday and i had tried sneaking something past my mom and she discovered it and my smart ass reply was no one's ever accused me of being smart. and she said no, thats the problem you're three points away from genius and you act like your three points below average. which was like ouch. but then i realized, you know what... she's right.
so what am i to do? i have no time because like i said before i am a workaholic. i've been working 12 hour days (ok so i take a two hour lunch, so it translates into ten hour days) and then i work more when i get home and by the time i go to bed i have only a couple hours to myself before i get up and do it all over again.
damnit i just spilled teriyaki on my shirt.
so i need to come up with someway to 1. find my potential and then 2. live up to it.
what should i do? and does it have to be public?
1. finish school.
- this is definitely on my list i dont know what i want out of life still but i know i need a degree if i am to get anywhere in this world. i have finally decided i am going to major in studio art and minor in english, this is going to be difficult but this is what i want. so let it be written so let it be done etc.. etc..
2. do something important with my life
- this is why i like my current job, i get to work with kids and help some of them see thier potential, thier self worth, it is the most rewarding part of my job. unfortunately i'm kind of limited where i'm at right now, i see chance to do so much but i am lacking what it takes...
3. make a difference in someone elses life
-i try to do this every day, i dont know how successful am with this but i try i think i'm gonna start doing things to help the community, like get off my hiney and vote, join the junior diabeaties walk this saturday. do the trek for trash to help clean albuquerque. i want to save the world, i know this is impossble but i will do my best to save my part of it.
4. become fluent in french and spanish and possibly another language...
at this rate i need to work on english.
ok thats enough of that. its a start and i will accomplish as much as i can.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Have You Ever...
Been on a train: No
Been on a plane: Yeah
Caused a car accident: I swear it was a accident!
Run into a wall: Yeah, it's a habit I would like to break
Burned a potato chip: Why whould I do that?
Been drunk:Yes
Been high: Yeah, never again
Broken the law: maybe once or twice, unless you count traffic violations then i'm screwed
Burned a cd (if yes, the one above is a yes too): maybe like one or two thousand (but they;re all back up copies?)
Kissed someone of opposite sex: Yes.
Kissed someone of same sex: Yes.
Frenched an animal: Again why?
Had an online relationship: Yes.
Loved: Yes.
Made yourself cry: Yeah, but not on purpose.
Cried in public: Grrr yes
Cried over a movie: Yes sometimes a girl just needs to let it out and a movie can be an excellent catalyst
Fallen asleep in a movie theater: No,I might as well stay up I payed for it.
Been to a boarding school: No.
Been home-schooled: No.
Lost a valuable item:Yeah, yet people still keep giving them to me.
Bungee jumped: No, but that would be so kick ass.
Skied: No and that is misspelled
Met the president: Not the current one
Met a celebrity:Yes Ha ha Chad Croger is a rodie!!!
Gotten a cavity: I hate to admit....... but yes.
Made a prank call: lol yes
Skipped School: That depends was i supposed to go those four years of high school?
Faked sick to get out of school: I really was sick!(he he he)
Bought something you knew wouldn't fit: Hey it will fit if you take in a little here and hem it there and... yes.
Climed a tree: Yeah I used to love to read in the one in my front yard. Too much of a chicken now
Fallen from a tree:no
Broken a bone: No not unless toes count but i didnt get a cast so i dont think so
Sprained anything: Sadly yes, playing volleyball of all things.
Passed out: from exhaustion?
Made yourself pass out: who on gods green earth does this shit?
Been to Disney World: no :(
Been to a theme park (not disney): Disney land and thats about it
Right Handed or Left Handed: mostly right
Your Heritage: Hispanic (mexican/spanish) Apache
The Shoes You Wore Today:which ones black stiletto pumps, white and green nikes, cute little strappy steve maddens (i am so gonna have a love affair with steve madden its not even funny)
Your Weakness: yeah like i'm gonna post it
Your Fears: falling, insanity, dying alone old and ugly.
Your Perfect Pizza: i work with kids kind of sick of pizza... uh i guess one with everything
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Move out of my mothers
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: hmmmm
Thoughts First Waking Up: How late am I?
Your Best Physical Feature: hmmm... my eyes
Your Bedtime: when i have time to sleep
Your Most Missed Memory: how can you miss a memory?
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: eww!
Single or Group Dates: neither
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: how about real tea?ugh do i have to? nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:like you even have to ask CHOCOLATE
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
Do you Smoke: yes
Do you Swear: fuck you!
Do you Sing: in the car.. loudly
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: yes didn't you ask that already?
Do you want to go to College: working on it
Do you want to get Married:HA! too late
Do you belive in yourself: yes, i exist
Do you get Motion Sickness: car sick sometimes.
Do you think you are Attractive: sort of
Are you a Health Freak: no
Do you get along with your Parents: my mom
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: sort of
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: do they come in a box? no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: happy
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: happy
What country would you most like to Visit: hmmm... Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue... green... blue... hmmm
Favourite Hair Color: black
Short or Long Hair: depends
Height: tall
Weight: doesn't matter
Best Clothing Style: i like a sharp dresser
Number of Drugs I have taken: fuck i dont remember... 0 in the last six years
Number of CDs I own: like 250
Number of Piercings: 13 ears and tongue. i think most are gone though so like 2
Number of Tattoos:1
Number of things in my Past I Regret: none cause i don't really regret my present. it may suck but i dont regret it.
Been on a train: No
Been on a plane: Yeah
Caused a car accident: I swear it was a accident!
Run into a wall: Yeah, it's a habit I would like to break
Burned a potato chip: Why whould I do that?
Been drunk:Yes
Been high: Yeah, never again
Broken the law: maybe once or twice, unless you count traffic violations then i'm screwed
Burned a cd (if yes, the one above is a yes too): maybe like one or two thousand (but they;re all back up copies?)
Kissed someone of opposite sex: Yes.
Kissed someone of same sex: Yes.
Frenched an animal: Again why?
Had an online relationship: Yes.
Loved: Yes.
Made yourself cry: Yeah, but not on purpose.
Cried in public: Grrr yes
Cried over a movie: Yes sometimes a girl just needs to let it out and a movie can be an excellent catalyst
Fallen asleep in a movie theater: No,I might as well stay up I payed for it.
Been to a boarding school: No.
Been home-schooled: No.
Lost a valuable item:Yeah, yet people still keep giving them to me.
Bungee jumped: No, but that would be so kick ass.
Skied: No and that is misspelled
Met the president: Not the current one
Met a celebrity:Yes Ha ha Chad Croger is a rodie!!!
Gotten a cavity: I hate to admit....... but yes.
Made a prank call: lol yes
Skipped School: That depends was i supposed to go those four years of high school?
Faked sick to get out of school: I really was sick!(he he he)
Bought something you knew wouldn't fit: Hey it will fit if you take in a little here and hem it there and... yes.
Climed a tree: Yeah I used to love to read in the one in my front yard. Too much of a chicken now
Fallen from a tree:no
Broken a bone: No not unless toes count but i didnt get a cast so i dont think so
Sprained anything: Sadly yes, playing volleyball of all things.
Passed out: from exhaustion?
Made yourself pass out: who on gods green earth does this shit?
Been to Disney World: no :(
Been to a theme park (not disney): Disney land and thats about it
Right Handed or Left Handed: mostly right
Your Heritage: Hispanic (mexican/spanish) Apache
The Shoes You Wore Today:which ones black stiletto pumps, white and green nikes, cute little strappy steve maddens (i am so gonna have a love affair with steve madden its not even funny)
Your Weakness: yeah like i'm gonna post it
Your Fears: falling, insanity, dying alone old and ugly.
Your Perfect Pizza: i work with kids kind of sick of pizza... uh i guess one with everything
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Move out of my mothers
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: hmmmm
Thoughts First Waking Up: How late am I?
Your Best Physical Feature: hmmm... my eyes
Your Bedtime: when i have time to sleep
Your Most Missed Memory: how can you miss a memory?
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: eww!
Single or Group Dates: neither
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: how about real tea?ugh do i have to? nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:like you even have to ask CHOCOLATE
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
Do you Smoke: yes
Do you Swear: fuck you!
Do you Sing: in the car.. loudly
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: yes didn't you ask that already?
Do you want to go to College: working on it
Do you want to get Married:HA! too late
Do you belive in yourself: yes, i exist
Do you get Motion Sickness: car sick sometimes.
Do you think you are Attractive: sort of
Are you a Health Freak: no
Do you get along with your Parents: my mom
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: sort of
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: do they come in a box? no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: happy
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: happy
What country would you most like to Visit: hmmm... Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue... green... blue... hmmm
Favourite Hair Color: black
Short or Long Hair: depends
Height: tall
Weight: doesn't matter
Best Clothing Style: i like a sharp dresser
Number of Drugs I have taken: fuck i dont remember... 0 in the last six years
Number of CDs I own: like 250
Number of Piercings: 13 ears and tongue. i think most are gone though so like 2
Number of Tattoos:1
Number of things in my Past I Regret: none cause i don't really regret my present. it may suck but i dont regret it.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
hmmmm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque,_New_Mexico
so yeah i dunno i felt like looking up the population of albuquerque, the sad part is it doesn't include most of albuquerque... but here is some interesting stuff.
Albuquerque (pronounced [ˈæl.bə.kɚ.ki]) is the largest city in the state of New Mexico, United States. It is the county seat of Bernalillo County, and is situated in the central part of the state, straddling the Rio Grande. The city population was 448,607 as of the 2000 U.S. census. As of the 2005 census estimate, the city's population was 494,236, with a metropolitan population of 797,940. In 2005 Albuquerque ranked as the 33rd-largest city and 62nd-largest metropolitan area in the U.S. The metropolitan population includes the city of Rio Rancho, one of the fastest growing cities in the United States.
ABQ (the code for the city's airport and also a colloquialism for the city) is located where the Interstate highways I-40 and I-25 meet in an interchange which locals refer to as the "Big I."
Albuquerque is home to the University of New Mexico (UNM) (GO LOBOS!!!!) and Kirtland Air Force Base as well as Sandia National Laboratories and Petroglyph National Monument. The Sandia Mountains run along the eastern side of Albuquerque and the Rio Grande flows through the city north to south. Albuquerque's climate is usually sunny and dry, averaging around 8-9 inches (250 to 300 mm) (not this year) of precipitation per year. With more than 300 days of sunshine annually, Albuquerque is considered as having one of the best climates in North America.
The city has hosted the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta every October since 1972. (oh the tourists, and the traffic... i'm soo looking forward to it)
Quadrants
Starting in the 1940's, Albuquerque has expanded greatly in area. During those years of expansion, the planning of the newer areas has considered that people don't walk, they drive. (yeah no sidewalks! the bastards) The pre-1940's parts of Albuquerque are quite different in style and scale from the post 1940's areas. These older areas include the North Valley, the South Valley, various neighborhoods near downtown, and Corrales. The newer areas generally feature 4- to 6-lane roads in a one-mile grid. Each one square mile section is divided into four 160-acre neighborhoods by smaller roads set one-half mile between major roads. When driving along major roads in the newer sections of Albuquerque, one sees strip malls, signs, and cinderblock walls. The upside of this planning style is that neighborhoods are shielded from the worst of the noise and lights on the major roads. The downside is that it is virtually impossible to go anywhere from home without driving.
Albuquerque is geographically divided into four quadrants which are officially part of the mailing address. They are NE (northeast), NW (northwest), SE (southeast), and SW (southwest). The north-south dividing line is Central Avenue (the path that Route 66 took through the city) and the east-west dividing line is the BNSF Railway tracks. Although this is technically the division of the city, in casual conversation Albuquerqueans sometimes use the perpendicular interstates I-25 and I-40 to divide the city into quadrants.
[edit]
Northeast quadrant
This quadrant has been experiencing a housing expansion since the late 1950s. It abuts the base of the Sandia Mountains and contains portions of the Sandia Heights neighborhoods, which are situated in or near the foothills and are significantly higher, in elevation and price range, than the rest of the city. (oh but they are beautiful and this is where i want to live ha! like i'll ever have that much money, a girl can dream) Running from Central Ave. and the railroad tracks to the Sandia Peak Aerial Tram, this is the largest quadrant both geographically and by population. The University of New Mexico, the Maxwell Museum of Anthropology, the Uptown area which includes both Coronado and Winrock malls, and many skyscrapers, (ha there's two) Journal Center (with over 2 million square feet of office space), Balloon Fiesta Park, and Albuquerque Academy are all located in this quadrant. Some of the most affluent regions of the city are located here, including Las Lomas-Roma, Netherwood Park, Academy Hills, Tanoan West & East, High Desert, Glenwood Hills, Sandia Heights, North Albuquerque Acres and many residences in the far northeast corner stretching beyond the actual city limits into Sandoval County.
[edit] (where I had my apartment that I miss very much, and my School(UNM) and my High school)
Northwest quadrant
This quadrant contains historic Old Town Albuquerque, which dates back to the 1700s, as well as the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center. The area has a mixture of commercial, low-income, middle-income, and some of the most expensive homes in the city. Northwest Albuquerque includes the largest section of downtown, the Rio Grande Nature Center State Park and the Bosque ("woodlands" Cottonwood forest), the Petroglyph National Monument, Double Eagle II Airport, the historic Martineztown neighborhood, and Cottonwood Mall. Additionally, the "North Valley" area, which includes some small ranches and expensive residential homes along the Rio Grande, is located in this quadrant. The City of Albuquerque engulfs the village of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque and borders Corrales in the northwest valley. The rapidly-developing area on the west side of the river is known as the "West Side" or "West Mesa" and consists primarily of traditional residential subdivisions. Here the city proper is bordered on the north by the City of Rio Rancho. This is one of the fastest growing areas in America; most of the suburban communities in the extreme northwest are characterized by endless sprawl and terrible traffic. Average one-way commutes for Westsiders are nearly 67 minutes.(mine is 45 minutes driving against traffic) With two brand new high schools (to relieve overcrowding in Cibola and West Mesa Highs, both with over 5,000 students), the area is experiencing massive growth.
[edit] (where I work and my ex-husbands house)
Southeast quadrant
Eclipse Aviation, Kirtland Air Force Base, Sandia National Laboratories, the Central New Mexico Community College main campus, the Albuquerque International Sunport, University Stadium, Isotopes Park, and University Arena ("The Pit") are located in the Southeast (SE) quadrant.
The Nob Hill and East Downtown (EDo) neighborhoods lie along Central Avenue, the border between the Southeast and Northeast quadrants. The expensive residential developments of Four Hills, Willow Wood, and Ridgecrest are also located in this quadrant. In sharp contrast to these upscale developments, however, some of the most poverty-stricken neighborhoods in the city are also located in Southeast Albuquerque. During the past twenty years, the SE area, mainly around Gibson Blvd. and Central Ave., has become the highest crime area in the city. These neighborhoods where so bad in the past that they been referred to as the "war zone" (East San Jose, or San Jo), and have been the subject of heavy police attention in an attempt to reduce crime.
[edit] (grandma's (Gibson and Broadway) house and where I spent most of my childhood)
Southwest quadrant
Traditionally consisting of agricultural and rural areas, the Southwest quadrant is often referred to as the "South Valley". (or the barrio depending on who you talk to) Although the city limits of Albuquerque do not include the area, the South Valley is considered to extend all the way to the Isleta Indian Reservation. This includes the old communities of Kinney(Kinney Brick) , Los Padillas (los Pa), Mountainview, and Pajarito. The south end of downtown Albuquerque and the Bosque ("woodlands" cottonwood forest), the historic Barelas neighborhood, the National Hispanic Cultural Center, the Rio Grande Zoo, and Tingley Beach are also located here. (where I live now and Mom's house for the last 15 years or so, past Los Pa down by Isleta)
The southwest area is currently undergoing rapid and controversial development, including large retail stores and quickly-built subdivisions. (wal-marts and cookie cutter houses, taking over the fields and ranches i loved :( so long as they dont close down the dairy( Mickey's, and the chicken farm (Cal-Maine) i will be fine, i love my fresh milk and eggs)
so yeah i dunno i felt like looking up the population of albuquerque, the sad part is it doesn't include most of albuquerque... but here is some interesting stuff.
Albuquerque (pronounced [ˈæl.bə.kɚ.ki]) is the largest city in the state of New Mexico, United States. It is the county seat of Bernalillo County, and is situated in the central part of the state, straddling the Rio Grande. The city population was 448,607 as of the 2000 U.S. census. As of the 2005 census estimate, the city's population was 494,236, with a metropolitan population of 797,940. In 2005 Albuquerque ranked as the 33rd-largest city and 62nd-largest metropolitan area in the U.S. The metropolitan population includes the city of Rio Rancho, one of the fastest growing cities in the United States.
ABQ (the code for the city's airport and also a colloquialism for the city) is located where the Interstate highways I-40 and I-25 meet in an interchange which locals refer to as the "Big I."
Albuquerque is home to the University of New Mexico (UNM) (GO LOBOS!!!!) and Kirtland Air Force Base as well as Sandia National Laboratories and Petroglyph National Monument. The Sandia Mountains run along the eastern side of Albuquerque and the Rio Grande flows through the city north to south. Albuquerque's climate is usually sunny and dry, averaging around 8-9 inches (250 to 300 mm) (not this year) of precipitation per year. With more than 300 days of sunshine annually, Albuquerque is considered as having one of the best climates in North America.
The city has hosted the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta every October since 1972. (oh the tourists, and the traffic... i'm soo looking forward to it)
Quadrants
Starting in the 1940's, Albuquerque has expanded greatly in area. During those years of expansion, the planning of the newer areas has considered that people don't walk, they drive. (yeah no sidewalks! the bastards) The pre-1940's parts of Albuquerque are quite different in style and scale from the post 1940's areas. These older areas include the North Valley, the South Valley, various neighborhoods near downtown, and Corrales. The newer areas generally feature 4- to 6-lane roads in a one-mile grid. Each one square mile section is divided into four 160-acre neighborhoods by smaller roads set one-half mile between major roads. When driving along major roads in the newer sections of Albuquerque, one sees strip malls, signs, and cinderblock walls. The upside of this planning style is that neighborhoods are shielded from the worst of the noise and lights on the major roads. The downside is that it is virtually impossible to go anywhere from home without driving.
Albuquerque is geographically divided into four quadrants which are officially part of the mailing address. They are NE (northeast), NW (northwest), SE (southeast), and SW (southwest). The north-south dividing line is Central Avenue (the path that Route 66 took through the city) and the east-west dividing line is the BNSF Railway tracks. Although this is technically the division of the city, in casual conversation Albuquerqueans sometimes use the perpendicular interstates I-25 and I-40 to divide the city into quadrants.
[edit]
Northeast quadrant
This quadrant has been experiencing a housing expansion since the late 1950s. It abuts the base of the Sandia Mountains and contains portions of the Sandia Heights neighborhoods, which are situated in or near the foothills and are significantly higher, in elevation and price range, than the rest of the city. (oh but they are beautiful and this is where i want to live ha! like i'll ever have that much money, a girl can dream) Running from Central Ave. and the railroad tracks to the Sandia Peak Aerial Tram, this is the largest quadrant both geographically and by population. The University of New Mexico, the Maxwell Museum of Anthropology, the Uptown area which includes both Coronado and Winrock malls, and many skyscrapers, (ha there's two) Journal Center (with over 2 million square feet of office space), Balloon Fiesta Park, and Albuquerque Academy are all located in this quadrant. Some of the most affluent regions of the city are located here, including Las Lomas-Roma, Netherwood Park, Academy Hills, Tanoan West & East, High Desert, Glenwood Hills, Sandia Heights, North Albuquerque Acres and many residences in the far northeast corner stretching beyond the actual city limits into Sandoval County.
[edit] (where I had my apartment that I miss very much, and my School(UNM) and my High school)
Northwest quadrant
This quadrant contains historic Old Town Albuquerque, which dates back to the 1700s, as well as the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center. The area has a mixture of commercial, low-income, middle-income, and some of the most expensive homes in the city. Northwest Albuquerque includes the largest section of downtown, the Rio Grande Nature Center State Park and the Bosque ("woodlands" Cottonwood forest), the Petroglyph National Monument, Double Eagle II Airport, the historic Martineztown neighborhood, and Cottonwood Mall. Additionally, the "North Valley" area, which includes some small ranches and expensive residential homes along the Rio Grande, is located in this quadrant. The City of Albuquerque engulfs the village of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque and borders Corrales in the northwest valley. The rapidly-developing area on the west side of the river is known as the "West Side" or "West Mesa" and consists primarily of traditional residential subdivisions. Here the city proper is bordered on the north by the City of Rio Rancho. This is one of the fastest growing areas in America; most of the suburban communities in the extreme northwest are characterized by endless sprawl and terrible traffic. Average one-way commutes for Westsiders are nearly 67 minutes.(mine is 45 minutes driving against traffic) With two brand new high schools (to relieve overcrowding in Cibola and West Mesa Highs, both with over 5,000 students), the area is experiencing massive growth.
[edit] (where I work and my ex-husbands house)
Southeast quadrant
Eclipse Aviation, Kirtland Air Force Base, Sandia National Laboratories, the Central New Mexico Community College main campus, the Albuquerque International Sunport, University Stadium, Isotopes Park, and University Arena ("The Pit") are located in the Southeast (SE) quadrant.
The Nob Hill and East Downtown (EDo) neighborhoods lie along Central Avenue, the border between the Southeast and Northeast quadrants. The expensive residential developments of Four Hills, Willow Wood, and Ridgecrest are also located in this quadrant. In sharp contrast to these upscale developments, however, some of the most poverty-stricken neighborhoods in the city are also located in Southeast Albuquerque. During the past twenty years, the SE area, mainly around Gibson Blvd. and Central Ave., has become the highest crime area in the city. These neighborhoods where so bad in the past that they been referred to as the "war zone" (East San Jose, or San Jo), and have been the subject of heavy police attention in an attempt to reduce crime.
[edit] (grandma's (Gibson and Broadway) house and where I spent most of my childhood)
Southwest quadrant
Traditionally consisting of agricultural and rural areas, the Southwest quadrant is often referred to as the "South Valley". (or the barrio depending on who you talk to) Although the city limits of Albuquerque do not include the area, the South Valley is considered to extend all the way to the Isleta Indian Reservation. This includes the old communities of Kinney(Kinney Brick) , Los Padillas (los Pa), Mountainview, and Pajarito. The south end of downtown Albuquerque and the Bosque ("woodlands" cottonwood forest), the historic Barelas neighborhood, the National Hispanic Cultural Center, the Rio Grande Zoo, and Tingley Beach are also located here. (where I live now and Mom's house for the last 15 years or so, past Los Pa down by Isleta)
The southwest area is currently undergoing rapid and controversial development, including large retail stores and quickly-built subdivisions. (wal-marts and cookie cutter houses, taking over the fields and ranches i loved :( so long as they dont close down the dairy( Mickey's, and the chicken farm (Cal-Maine) i will be fine, i love my fresh milk and eggs)
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes.
"He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"It'sPillsbury, isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
your wife?He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
storeto get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-o much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men"...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !"
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here
and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.
"Wife replies, "No , you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife towake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on apiece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him,when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draftbefore the masterpiece .
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes.
"He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"It'sPillsbury, isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
your wife?He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
storeto get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-o much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men"...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !"
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here
and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.
"Wife replies, "No , you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife towake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on apiece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him,when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draftbefore the masterpiece .
Monday, August 28, 2006
hmmm this made me laugh my ass off
Horoscope for: Monday, August 28, 2006 Yesterday TODAY Tomorrow
Drea,You have entered a phase when your mind feels sharper than ever. You are thinking more about the future and about your role within your group or community. Even at work, you are focusing on your longer range goals, rather than just filling out the timesheet. Make use of the careful logic that you now have at your disposal and apply it to your current strategy.
Drea,You have entered a phase when your mind feels sharper than ever. You are thinking more about the future and about your role within your group or community. Even at work, you are focusing on your longer range goals, rather than just filling out the timesheet. Make use of the careful logic that you now have at your disposal and apply it to your current strategy.
uh... whatever.
So how do I feel today? That seems to be the question most asked lately. I feel offended complimented upset kind of sad a little angry relieved strong and a little bit hopeful.
Now the question that always follows is why, so I will play the game for once and by the rules and just go on to tell you to the best of my ab1ilities why. Now this may not make sense because feelings don’t often translate into words, but hey, it’s worth a shot.
Offended: I feel offended because someone very dear to me thinks that I will be stupid enough to repeat my mistakes time and time again. I also feel offended because my mother seems to think I am incapable of taking care of myself. I don’t feel too bad on that part because after these past few days I don’t really feel like being an adult, I would really like to resign my post as a “grown up” and go back to being five. But let’s face it... So not gonna happen.
Complimented and upset: These two go hand in hand because; some of my paintings were stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole some things, a lighter a couple of bucks from my ashtray, a couple CD’s and three paintings that were in the back seat. Apparently they didn’t want all my junk I was moving stuff from storage to my mom’s house and they saw fit to sit there and pick and choose what to take. I am upset because they took my stuff and I actually liked those paintings, but complimented because they chose them, there were about twelve there and they picked those ones. I’m kinda creeped out because what kind of freak steals unknown artwork from the back of a car, and why did they have enough time to choose? But really I can’t help but feel a little twinge of pride that they wanted something I made enough to take it.
Kind of sad: don’t really want to talk about it, which is why I guess I should. I don’t know I’m just reminiscing a little from going through all this junk.
A little angry: I’m kind of tired of people saying I’m better off. That he didn’t deserve me or that he didn’t treat me right or that I can do better. I keep hearing this from different people and I wish they would stop talking badly about him. I don’t feel like any of this is true, I feel like he felt I wasn’t worth the effort of keeping, I feel a little unappreciated, but I don’t feel like that’s all his fault he tried, there’s just something in my head that makes me feel like it just isn’t enough. He’s not a bad person, he’s really not, it’s just he’s just not right for me.
Relieved: a little relieved the end is in sight and it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be one of those bloody murder kind of divorces, and I’m finally not worried about him. I know he’s gonna be ok and I don’t think he’s gonna be trying to get me back. It’ll be sad the day we sign the papers, but we’re both ready. Neither of us is gonna try to screw the other over so that always makes things easier, and neither of us really has assets to fight over. He gets all of the furniture; I get all of the everything else. He gets the toys and electronics; I get the books and all the gadgets I want. Other than that we each take out what we brought in. the only things that are going to be a hassle are the phone bill and the car insurance cause those are both under my name but not all just for me.
Strong: I think I’m taking this pretty well. People keep telling me I’m strong and I’m getting to a point where I’m starting to believe them.
A little bit hopeful: it’s not the end of the world. And I’m not just saying that because I know it, I’m saying that cause that’s actually how I feel today
So I dropped off of the face of the planet for about a day and it caused quite a stir, apparently I am the kind of person who is never allowed to just disappear, no worries, I wont ever do that again. I just needed some time to think, without anyone trying to get in my head. My mom thinks I’m depressed my dad thinks I’m bi-polar and everyone else thinks I’m just crazy. I don’t think I’m any of these. I think I’m just going through a major life change one of many in this last year and I think I will get through it ok, better with out everyone’s two cents worth. I was sitting here thinking about it in this past year I have been kicked out kicked down picked up loved hated married divorced and promoted twice almost fired for something I didn’t do, made great new friends, lost some old ones, and I’ve lived in three different places. It’s been a busy year and I’m kind of tired. I think I’ll just pretend like it’s over and start again. Lorenzo said I should move away from here if I could, just for a little while till I become whole again… I keep thinking the beach sounds awfully nice from here.
I think its harder divorcing your best friend because part of you wants to kill him and part of you wants to hold him and make everything ok. And you know what could make it ok and you hate yourself for not giving it, for giving in for staying; but you know you would hate yourself more if you did. I’m glad we will end this on speaking terms, but I’m even gladder he finally stopped trying to get in my pants.
Now the question that always follows is why, so I will play the game for once and by the rules and just go on to tell you to the best of my ab1ilities why. Now this may not make sense because feelings don’t often translate into words, but hey, it’s worth a shot.
Offended: I feel offended because someone very dear to me thinks that I will be stupid enough to repeat my mistakes time and time again. I also feel offended because my mother seems to think I am incapable of taking care of myself. I don’t feel too bad on that part because after these past few days I don’t really feel like being an adult, I would really like to resign my post as a “grown up” and go back to being five. But let’s face it... So not gonna happen.
Complimented and upset: These two go hand in hand because; some of my paintings were stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole some things, a lighter a couple of bucks from my ashtray, a couple CD’s and three paintings that were in the back seat. Apparently they didn’t want all my junk I was moving stuff from storage to my mom’s house and they saw fit to sit there and pick and choose what to take. I am upset because they took my stuff and I actually liked those paintings, but complimented because they chose them, there were about twelve there and they picked those ones. I’m kinda creeped out because what kind of freak steals unknown artwork from the back of a car, and why did they have enough time to choose? But really I can’t help but feel a little twinge of pride that they wanted something I made enough to take it.
Kind of sad: don’t really want to talk about it, which is why I guess I should. I don’t know I’m just reminiscing a little from going through all this junk.
A little angry: I’m kind of tired of people saying I’m better off. That he didn’t deserve me or that he didn’t treat me right or that I can do better. I keep hearing this from different people and I wish they would stop talking badly about him. I don’t feel like any of this is true, I feel like he felt I wasn’t worth the effort of keeping, I feel a little unappreciated, but I don’t feel like that’s all his fault he tried, there’s just something in my head that makes me feel like it just isn’t enough. He’s not a bad person, he’s really not, it’s just he’s just not right for me.
Relieved: a little relieved the end is in sight and it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be one of those bloody murder kind of divorces, and I’m finally not worried about him. I know he’s gonna be ok and I don’t think he’s gonna be trying to get me back. It’ll be sad the day we sign the papers, but we’re both ready. Neither of us is gonna try to screw the other over so that always makes things easier, and neither of us really has assets to fight over. He gets all of the furniture; I get all of the everything else. He gets the toys and electronics; I get the books and all the gadgets I want. Other than that we each take out what we brought in. the only things that are going to be a hassle are the phone bill and the car insurance cause those are both under my name but not all just for me.
Strong: I think I’m taking this pretty well. People keep telling me I’m strong and I’m getting to a point where I’m starting to believe them.
A little bit hopeful: it’s not the end of the world. And I’m not just saying that because I know it, I’m saying that cause that’s actually how I feel today
So I dropped off of the face of the planet for about a day and it caused quite a stir, apparently I am the kind of person who is never allowed to just disappear, no worries, I wont ever do that again. I just needed some time to think, without anyone trying to get in my head. My mom thinks I’m depressed my dad thinks I’m bi-polar and everyone else thinks I’m just crazy. I don’t think I’m any of these. I think I’m just going through a major life change one of many in this last year and I think I will get through it ok, better with out everyone’s two cents worth. I was sitting here thinking about it in this past year I have been kicked out kicked down picked up loved hated married divorced and promoted twice almost fired for something I didn’t do, made great new friends, lost some old ones, and I’ve lived in three different places. It’s been a busy year and I’m kind of tired. I think I’ll just pretend like it’s over and start again. Lorenzo said I should move away from here if I could, just for a little while till I become whole again… I keep thinking the beach sounds awfully nice from here.
I think its harder divorcing your best friend because part of you wants to kill him and part of you wants to hold him and make everything ok. And you know what could make it ok and you hate yourself for not giving it, for giving in for staying; but you know you would hate yourself more if you did. I’m glad we will end this on speaking terms, but I’m even gladder he finally stopped trying to get in my pants.
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