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so how i feel today.
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There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
No song I could sing But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things Like a, shoebox of photographs With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer, At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?And how come we're so hard?
It's not always easy and Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together
And all of these moments Just might find there way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone When the morning light sings
And brings new things But tomorrow night you see That theyll be gone too
Too many things I have to do But if all of these dreams might find there way
Into my day to day sceneIll be under the impression I was somewhere in between
With only two Just me and you Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be We'll Sit beneath the mango tree
Its always better when we're together Somewhere in between
I believe in memories They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up, You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is no time, And there is no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say But I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together.
Jack Johnson, Better Together.
So I did a lot this weekend, it was all due to procrastination, but hey, whatever right? I wrote three chapters, nursed a cold, did a couple awesome sketches, got three (or four or seven) weeks worth of laundry done, organized my shoes, washed my car, cleaned out my car, detailed my car, visited my mother, went to my dads company picnic, took a tour of his work, shot my brother with a BB gun cause he ran over my foot. Talked to what seems like everyone on the phone for a few hours. Drove down to Peralta to see my nana. Went shopping, paid all my bills, planned out a budget, blew a good chunk of money on new cd’s (system of a down: steal this album& toxicity, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Gold Lion, Johnny Cash: The Legend Of Johnny Cash, Dido: No Angel (again I lost that one with my case) Taking Back Sunday: Louder Now, Yellowcard: Lights and Sounds, Matchbook Romance) because I decided that I don’t need anymore shoes (this week) all because I was avoiding packing. Which I have decided not to do yet. We are talking, a lot, about everything that has been bothering the both of us. And I am taking my time to think about whether or not I am ready to be done with this relationship, about whether or not I am ready to lose my best friend. So I sit here still contemplating these things. And feeling like everything and nothing has changed since last week. Does that make sense?
So now since avoidance is my MO I sit here writing this doing work for the week and watching tv and listening to Gold Lion, and organizing my cd case so I don’t have to think too much. I need to decide what exactly it is that I want. But I cant face that right now.
So this morning I woke up feeling like my eyeballs were about to burn out the back of my head.i figured they were dry so I put eyedrops which was a big mistake because it felt like scraping them out with my fingernails would have hurt less. I still can’t figure out why but the feeling has stopped, and I am grateful. I cant decide how to organize my cd’s should I do alphabetically by artist, alphabetically by album, by genre, so I think I am going to do genre then artist then album. And after I put in all this effort I know someones going to borrow one and put it in the wrong place and drive me crazy. So maybe I should just stick them all in the case. I love imf I like this song that’s playing on the TV and I couldn’t figure out who it was by its kinda hard to hear the yeah yeah yeah’s and motion city soundtrack at the same time and decipher these things, but it sounds pretty cool you have the mellow and the rock. I think if I had a band that’s how it would be. i think i need a band. then i could have people waiting on me hand and foot... but then i would have to put up with groupies.... hmmm groupies could be interesting. but this is all irrelevant cause i can hardly play the guitar, i refuse to share my songs and i cant sing.
