cigarettes coffee and valium

ok so i'd be happy with any one of those right now. ok so i dont think i've ever actually had valium(and it makes me kind of sad that i cant recall), but someone offered me some today so i guess i'm getting pretty bad. i worked 61 hours last week, and 54 this week. i didnt think that was possible. whats worse is that my conscience wont let me put about 20 of those hours on my timesheet, why, cause it was shopping and doing other things preparing for my work week, not really actual work... i dunno still debating.

i was in a roaring bad mood this morning, and then i got stuck in a meeting for a few hours and got a ticket and yelled at by a parent, then my mood improved, i couldnt do anything but laugh cause i know that it will be better tomorrow or the next day. it can get worse so i better hope it doesnt, but really life sucks just laugh, i really have too much to be greatful for, there are so many people who love me and i am at a point in my life right now where i'm willing to write off 20 hours as volunteer time. so it cant be that bad, sure i would rather be on the beach, rather be walking hand in hand with the one i love along the shore, stopping to kiss every 10 feet or so... but i'm here and i have kids who adore me and people who love me and as long as they outnumber the ones that hate me and think that im an utter idiot, i think i can stick it out here.

so if you think you can dance, if you think you have an ounce of rhythm in your body, think you can move your hips, take a belly dancing class it will prove you wrong in 30 seconds flat. i am debating whether or not i want to go to bellydancing tomorrow. i definitely dont feel sexy enough to do belly dancing and its difficult, i hate it when i dont get things on the first try, but apparently it happens ;) but i had fun on monday even though i was tricked. so i think for once i'll say fuck everyone and do it for me. besides has anyone seen the video to "hips dont lie"? shakira makes that shit look fucking hot, and if i can look 1/4 that hot i think i could be dangerous.

my sisters birthday is coming up... i think... i want to say its next wednesday... i know its june 1st but i'm not sure what day that is... i also dont know what to get her, and i havent had anytime lately to paint... my goodness i really want to paint, i havent done that in ages i think i'll go do that now.