i love ya!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!

I love ya!

I got so caught up in life I almost forgot something kinda important, To let the ones I love know I'm thinking about them. Well I am and I love you chelly bean. See totally didn't forget granted I have what less than three hours left for today, ne-ways, margaritas manana?


P.s. Mi bien quireido, I'm always thinking of you especially now that you seem so far.

Mexican trash

I was gonna title this post cinco mas but I like Mexican trash better. Only five more days till my birthday (yay!) Melissa got my present which was not tix to phantom of the opera, but I think ill live. Ill just have to see it next year.

Speaking of Melissa she has been on my nerves lately. I don't know why buy everything she says to me gets under my nerves and on my skin. Strike that reverse it (ha ha love gene wilder) I dunno.

I have a board meeting on my birthday which sucks but it doesn't really matter cause Rikki works till eight and that means Maggie and aileen will both be at the meet with me till eight. So that just leaves the rest of the party. Ha ha oh well it'll work out cause I said so.

hot toddys and theraflu

I hate it when I'm sick.

No one likes being sick drea

Hypochondriacs do

You're such a smart ass

So a woman put a curse on me today. It made me laugh my ass off. Not because I don't believe in curses or spells or anything like that, I've been brought up with those beliefs since birth. I was laughing because I have also been protected from that sort of thing since birth. Brujeria and cueanderismo run deep in my family, its in my blood, anything that someone places on me gets reflected to them. So sorry lady, its not gonna work. I kind of hope that this woman was just trying to scare me and was just bluffing, I have no desire to cause her anymore pain, but if she has she asked for it.

Ok so now that I sound like a crazy lady too...

Six days till my birthday, and I have no clue what I'm gonna do. I have a great dress to wear though so that should be fun. Ok well I'm kinda half drunk and hopped up on theraflu bad combo I know but it works. So I'm gonna cut this short.

nervous wreck

So here I lie awake anxiously awaiting news I'm not sure will ever come.

I got a strange phone call earlier I couldn't understand a word that person was saying and I couldn't call them back for an answer so I think I've been blown off for life. Who knows. Today has been an interesting day. My phone has not stopped ringing since early this morning and I didn't get to spend time talking to the one person I actually did want to speak with.

I miss him like mad. But the situation and life seem determined to keep us apart.

stress allergies and touch of a cold.

i have no voice.

which is good cause the one person i want to talk to cant talk right now anyway

i have a psychotic bitch after my job.

its kinda my fault that shes being psychotic, but really... you dont mess with a persons livlihood and expect them to lay down and take it. i've been real quiet with this person, i havent said a damn word for the sake of another, but if i get called a little fucking bitch, whore, told im going to be ruined that my world is over, that i will be taken down, i will be found, a skank, not to ever do anything, a fucking baby, that i will ruin my life through emotional betrayal, that someone is gong to get on a plane and wipe the floor with me, a tramp, or whoreasper(?) one more time i might just have to rip someone a new one. i swear a girl can only take so much before she has to fight back.

that being said. i am about ten seconds from filing a harassment suit, the only reason im not is because i dont want to make things worse for the person i am protecting.

random email stuff i had to share with everyone

You know your from new mexico when...

*You buy salsa by the gallon.
*You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five years ago.
*Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.
*Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".
*Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".
*You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.
*You price-shop for tortillas.
*You have an extra freezer just for green chile.
*You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.
*You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.
*You have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee at a drive-up window.
*You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell newspapers.
*You have used aluminum foil and duct tape to repair your air conditioner.
*There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.
*You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.
*You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.
*You are afraid to drive through Mora, Belen and Espanola.
*You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.
*You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3am because you were hungry.
*You know whether you want "red or green."
*You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.
*You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
*You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at Wal-Mart, Sam's or Home Depot.
*Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.
*A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of bread.
*At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.
*Prosperity can be readily determined by the number of horses you own.

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me."I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies.""What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife."Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together)."Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on.
I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"OH, Gross!", they! shrieked."Well, isn't THAT just Great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. don't you?)We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted."It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified."Do something, Dad!" my son urged."Okay, okay. " Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results."Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.
We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap."Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged."I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God'ssake.)The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass."What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically."Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside."Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked."Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen...Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on hisback."He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just... just...Excited," my wife offered."Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence.Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly."What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.Tears were now running down her face.
"It's just... that... I'm picturing you pulling on its... its... teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more."That's enough," I warned.We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay."I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me."Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.2 - lizards - $140...1 - Cage - $50...Trip to the Vet - $30...Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's wacker ..... Priceless


A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately,
he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9 years
old.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They
have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep
on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk. As you
might expect things start to heat up.

The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she
wants a new position.

Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!

She screams.

Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Whoa!!!

PULL IT OUT!!!

PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

I can't get pregnant!

Then the little brother shouts:
Hey, would you guys stop making sandwiches up there! You're getting
mayonnaise all over my face!*!*!*!*

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron."The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looksat the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom!He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He saysto the frog, "Wow that's amazing.You must be a lucky frog, eh?The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."The man decides to take the frogwith him to the next hole."What do you think frog?" theman asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."The guy takes out a 3 wood and,Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life andasks the frog, "OK where to next?"The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, nowwhat?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you.You've won me all this money andI am forever grateful."The frog replies, "Ribbit KissMe." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With akiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girlended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."

Men really care>>The room was full of pregnant women, with their partners. The Lamaze class>was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe>properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to>their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.>>>>She said: "Ladies: remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is>especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make>delivery that much easier!">>>>She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember: you're in >this>together. So it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner." The>room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a>man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the>teacher.>>>>"I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a >golf>bag while we walk?"

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?" The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to findher husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he hadbeen let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly$1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.


OK listen up! As every southerner knows it's time to get ready for that all important cooking technique of the south---outdoor Grilling! I have found several stores (not just in the south) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q Grill! This is not a joke. You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores: A&PAlbertsonsCostcoFood LionFry'sKrogerBig LotsBrookshire'sMeijerPublixSafewaySam's ClubTargetVonsWal-MartWinn-DixieI especially like the higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm!



Just make sure to get a metal one...the Plastic one's don't do so well when smokin a pig!

Red, Red, Red

I don't understand about complimentary colors
And what they say
Side by side they both get bright
Together they both get gray
But he's been pretty much yellow
And I've been crying blue
But all I can see is
Red, red, red, now
What am I to do?
I don't understand about
Diamonds and why men buy them
What's so impressive about a diamond
Except the mining
And it's dangerous work
Trying to get to you too
And I think if I didn't have to
Kill, myself doing it
Maybe I would glisten so much for you
I've been watching all the time
And I still can't find the track
And I wanna know is it okay
Is it just fine
Was it my fault
Is it my lack
I don't understand about
The weather outside
The harbinger to the words
Somebody lied
There's solace a bit for submitting
To the fitfully cryptically true
What's happened has happened
What's coming is already on its way
With a role for me to play
I don't understand
I'll never understand
But I'm trying to understand
There's nothing else I can do


Can I walk with you

I woke up this morning
You were the first thing on my mind
I don't know were it came from
All I know is I need you in my life, yeah
You make me feel like I can be a better woman

Can I walk with you through your life
Can I lay with you as your wife
Can I be your friend 'till the end
Can I walk with you through your life


Beautiful Surprise

It's like yesterday
I didn't even know your name
Now today
You're always on my mind
I never could have predicted that I feel this way
Intoxicated every time I hear your voice
You've got me on a natural high
It's almost like I didn't even have a choice
You're beautiful surprise
Whatever it is you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we're written in the stars
I don't know the future hopes
But I'm living in the moment
And I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are
You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You're beautiful surprise
You're inspiration to my life
You're the reason why I smile
You're my beautiful surprise  


My Complicated melody

If he were a color
He'd be a deep dark forrest green
If he were a car
He'd be a long stretch limousine
With room for all of humanity inside
Cause he is so giving
And he is so wiseIf he were a number
He'd be a five cause he has such a brilliant mind
If he were an animal
He'd be an ass cause he's so stubborn sometimes
But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I can not sing it on key
But he means the world to me
If he were a building
He'd be a beautiful cathedral
Cause he's so traditionally spiritual
If he were a dance
He'd be complicated like the tango
Exotic like a mango


Gratitude

Thankful for relaxation, complication, hibernation and irrational
Seclusion, confusion, all of my impurity and insecurity
Cause I know it's God just perfecting me
That's why
Today I take life as it comes  

bored outta my pretty little skull

People ask if I'm in love with you
Because I'm sitting here with your letter
And smiling to myself
I'm kinda lost in my own thoughts of you
My heart speaks before my mind thinks through
And I blush as I say yes

What a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
And I'm feeling weak and I can't speak
Never thought I'd give in so willingly to a human being
With abilities to set me free
Free, make me be me

Makes me want to say
Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit it's a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats haunting me
Is that you're loving me for me

People ask why I'm in love with you
Well, let me start by saying
You got my heart by just being who you are
And what we got is between me and you
It doesn't matter about the money I make
Or what I do,

Unconditionally you're there for me
Undeniably you inspire me, spiritually, so sweet
This is meaningful, is incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
The way I feel, so real

Its so amazing how something so sweet
Has come and rearranged my life
I've been kissed by destiny
Oh, heaven came and saved me
An angel was placed at my feet
This isn't ordinary, he's loving me for me

So the cat that I thought was being nice was really just lying in wait for his opportunity to hit me where it hurts he ate my wonderful mascara. Wait no it wasn't just wonder ful it was fabulous too, its was wonderous. And now its cat food. I hoe he chokes on the little plastic pieces. Ok so maybe I don't actually wish that but that damn bastard ate the worlds most perfect mascara.

So as I was shopping at the mall yesterday I realized that for the first time in ages I'm not all bah humbug (it amuses me to no end the the phrase "bah humbug" is already in my blackberry's vocabulary) about them already putting up chritmas decorations. I wonder why? Oh well maybe I just have up any hope of ever having Christmas spirit like I did when I was a kid and I'm not missing it this year.

I think I have chronic fatigue syndrome I'm good to go all week and then I hit the weekend and its like now where all I want to do is lay in bed and rest a little. But Rikki and I are gonna go to the movies so ill get up and Make myself half decent. My mom said I'm just suffering from lackofsexitus and my only hope is the cure gottafindadickis if only she knew. Here I lay smelling like Shalimar driving myself crazy and thinking of Hawaii. Love sucks.

Oh pooh my sister is here and I gotta go make a thank you pecan pie. I need to get away from here for a while. I need a trip to the mountains but I promised I wouldn't go alone so I won't go alone. I also won't take anyone I'm trying to escape from so I just won't go.

Hmmm to continue from above this would be perfection

Stripped of all make up, no need for fancy clothes
No cover ups, push ups
With him, I dont have to put on a show
He loves every freckle, every curve, every inch of my skin
Fulfilling me entirely, taking all of me in
He's real,he's honest, he's loving me for me

The good news: I fixed my mirror so now I don't have to worry and hope and pray as much when I switch lanes on the freeway ill just check the lovely mirror. Yay!

only 16 days till my birthday!

Ok so I'm starting to get excited a little. I love counting down to my birthday.

This year all I want are tickets to see phantom of the opera at popejoy, I told Melissa that's what I wanted and she said sure so maybe. Doubtful I think the tix might be pricey but ill cross my fingers and hold my breath and pray cause I really wanna go.

I really watch too much PBS the worst part is I love it. I need to be back in school.

The spawn of Satan aka the cat aka babalu has started being nice to me I think its cause he got fixed but I don't know why that would make him change his attitude to me.

Maggie needs an alibi

Ok so I think I used that title befor I even knew Maggie. Hmmmm. Any hoot, so Maggie and I are bad for each other. She took me into every shoestore/department in the mall I fell in love with like ten pairs of shoes, the hot red patent leather elemenos at Macy's the sexy little t-straps from Charlotte Russe the pink suede dreams from bakers.The blue suede Jessica simpsons from, well I don't even remember where those were from. Hot boots from payless of all places(and some at bakers) and like five pair at aldo. oh dear. I'm obsessed. Purple patent leather pumps, blue frilly stillettos, grey suede and grossgrain lovelies, sophisticated split-side chopcolate treats, to die for burgandy heels, and Le piece du resistance, dominatrix hot leather anklestraps with a chain. Sigh.

The bad part is, I think I might go back to get those. Say happy birthday me and have that be that.

Ok so I would have bought them yesterday except I'm having issues con mi dinero lately meaning its disappearing at an alarming rate. Trip to urgent care for pink eye (rediculous I know but I have the kind of job where going into work with something like that is grounds for termination, and I find myself conviniently between insurance) new battery for my Sammy, new alternator for my Sammy, paying for the month before last's overages, grrr I'm making more money but its flowing out of my bank account like water through a sieve. And that stupid trip to urgent care made me dip into savings so now I'm afraid ill never get out of this place. Grrr see so I have no right to be drooling at aldo.

I was gonna start my Christmas shopping so I wouldn't have to worry about that all at the last minute but oops. I can do this I can get that done build my savings back up and make this all work out somehow. But I won't think about that any more now ill think about that tomorrow.