craziness

Horoscope for: Monday, August 07, 2006 Yesterday TODAY Tomorrow
Drea,Your planet Pluto is playing out personal dramas in the sky. The energies are complicated and there isn't an easy way to navigate through the complexities. One inner voice tells you to hold your breath and remain motionless until the stress passes. The other voice tells you to run like the wind. Neither of these is good advice. You are better off listening to the music and dancing to it the best you can.

sounds about right this weekend has been crazy mario killed my cat. not on purpose mind you but still its very sad he fell asleep on top of it. wouldnt you notice that you were sleeping on a kitten. poor baby was only four weeks old and had survived the out break of distemper that took his brother and his mother running away before he was weaned. but he died cause someone's a heavy sleeper. i've decided i'm not supposed to have pets. if i do have a pet again it will be a snake cause that stays in a cage pretty much all the time and they are pretty hearty animals.

so i moved out into my mom's house, melissa moved into town, and my dad is offering to buy me a bed.

my mom and my nana said something i totally wasn't expecting. they said i was brave. i dont feel brave, i feel scared and unsure and like a little kid and an old lady simultaneously. but i'm set. i want to live on my own. i want my own space, i want my education and i want to know that i earned all of it on my own. i am ready to grow up. go fig. no husband no lover no roomate no sister no mother no one but me. i'm freaking out... but its time.

i kind of missed living at home this morning i woke up thinking i would get to get away with out breakfast but there was a muffin on the counter next to a glass with a note that said fill me with milk and drink. its my moms not so subtle way of saying dont even think of leaving the house without something in your stomach. its kind of nice to be taken care of but i'm pretty much done with that. i'm not a princess i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

Bouncy

This post is kind of random written Friday Saturday and Sunday

I love you
If you need me you know where to find me
You know how to contact me

p.s. put the clothes in the dryer


here I lay back at my mothers house exhausted. Physically emotionally and spiritually. What is it about august that causes me to change things so dramatically? I had said I was gonna leave before but I never got around to it. Today, I was freaking out about not having enough boxes to pack all of my shit, it fit in two boxes and a hamper i left before he even got home and he didnt know until he bothered to call me at around midnight to tell me he wasn't home (uh duh!). he knew i was leaving cause i told him but i think he thought it was just a bluff.

i have no bed, no dresser, nowhere to store my shoes. when i moved out of this place it got turned into an office so i lay here typing away between two computers an ugly but comfortable chair, dusty excercise equipment and boxes. how comfy.


Alanis

8 easy steps

How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to refer to men as solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you’re fine and don’t need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you’re serving all of them some
I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
The course of a life time you’ll never forget
I’ll show you how to in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best
How to hate women when you’re supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you’re really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you’re a prayer and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by thinking of how to subsist
How to lie to yourself, and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you’re thinking of killing yourself
I’ve been doing research for years
I’ve been practicing my ass off
I’ve been training my whole life for this moment, I swear to you
Culminating just to be this flawless leader before you
I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps.


Everything

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like its going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you’ve ever met
I am the kindest soul with who you’ve connected
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As positive as I am sometimes
You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything
To which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
I blame everyone else not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I’m terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met any one as,
As closed down as I am sometimes
But I resist persist and speak
Louder than I know
But I resist you love
No matter how low or high I go
I’m the funniest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the dullest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As everything as I am sometimes
You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything
To which you can’t relate
And you’re still here