Have You Ever...
Been on a train: No
Been on a plane: Yeah
Caused a car accident: I swear it was a accident!
Run into a wall: Yeah, it's a habit I would like to break
Burned a potato chip: Why whould I do that?
Been drunk:Yes
Been high: Yeah, never again
Broken the law: maybe once or twice, unless you count traffic violations then i'm screwed
Burned a cd (if yes, the one above is a yes too): maybe like one or two thousand (but they;re all back up copies?)
Kissed someone of opposite sex: Yes.
Kissed someone of same sex: Yes.
Frenched an animal: Again why?
Had an online relationship: Yes.
Loved: Yes.
Made yourself cry: Yeah, but not on purpose.
Cried in public: Grrr yes
Cried over a movie: Yes sometimes a girl just needs to let it out and a movie can be an excellent catalyst
Fallen asleep in a movie theater: No,I might as well stay up I payed for it.
Been to a boarding school: No.
Been home-schooled: No.
Lost a valuable item:Yeah, yet people still keep giving them to me.
Bungee jumped: No, but that would be so kick ass.
Skied: No and that is misspelled
Met the president: Not the current one
Met a celebrity:Yes Ha ha Chad Croger is a rodie!!!
Gotten a cavity: I hate to admit....... but yes.
Made a prank call: lol yes
Skipped School: That depends was i supposed to go those four years of high school?
Faked sick to get out of school: I really was sick!(he he he)
Bought something you knew wouldn't fit: Hey it will fit if you take in a little here and hem it there and... yes.
Climed a tree: Yeah I used to love to read in the one in my front yard. Too much of a chicken now
Fallen from a tree:no
Broken a bone: No not unless toes count but i didnt get a cast so i dont think so
Sprained anything: Sadly yes, playing volleyball of all things.
Passed out: from exhaustion?
Made yourself pass out: who on gods green earth does this shit?
Been to Disney World: no :(
Been to a theme park (not disney): Disney land and thats about it
Right Handed or Left Handed: mostly right
Your Heritage: Hispanic (mexican/spanish) Apache
The Shoes You Wore Today:which ones black stiletto pumps, white and green nikes, cute little strappy steve maddens (i am so gonna have a love affair with steve madden its not even funny)
Your Weakness: yeah like i'm gonna post it
Your Fears: falling, insanity, dying alone old and ugly.
Your Perfect Pizza: i work with kids kind of sick of pizza... uh i guess one with everything
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Move out of my mothers
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: hmmmm
Thoughts First Waking Up: How late am I?
Your Best Physical Feature: hmmm... my eyes
Your Bedtime: when i have time to sleep
Your Most Missed Memory: how can you miss a memory?
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: eww!
Single or Group Dates: neither
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: how about real tea?ugh do i have to? nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:like you even have to ask CHOCOLATE
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
Do you Smoke: yes
Do you Swear: fuck you!
Do you Sing: in the car.. loudly
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: yes didn't you ask that already?
Do you want to go to College: working on it
Do you want to get Married:HA! too late
Do you belive in yourself: yes, i exist
Do you get Motion Sickness: car sick sometimes.
Do you think you are Attractive: sort of
Are you a Health Freak: no
Do you get along with your Parents: my mom
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: sort of
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: do they come in a box? no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: happy
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: happy
What country would you most like to Visit: hmmm... Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue... green... blue... hmmm
Favourite Hair Color: black
Short or Long Hair: depends
Height: tall
Weight: doesn't matter
Best Clothing Style: i like a sharp dresser
Number of Drugs I have taken: fuck i dont remember... 0 in the last six years
Number of CDs I own: like 250
Number of Piercings: 13 ears and tongue. i think most are gone though so like 2
Number of Tattoos:1
Number of things in my Past I Regret: none cause i don't really regret my present. it may suck but i dont regret it.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
hmmmm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque,_New_Mexico
so yeah i dunno i felt like looking up the population of albuquerque, the sad part is it doesn't include most of albuquerque... but here is some interesting stuff.
Albuquerque (pronounced [ˈæl.bə.kɚ.ki]) is the largest city in the state of New Mexico, United States. It is the county seat of Bernalillo County, and is situated in the central part of the state, straddling the Rio Grande. The city population was 448,607 as of the 2000 U.S. census. As of the 2005 census estimate, the city's population was 494,236, with a metropolitan population of 797,940. In 2005 Albuquerque ranked as the 33rd-largest city and 62nd-largest metropolitan area in the U.S. The metropolitan population includes the city of Rio Rancho, one of the fastest growing cities in the United States.
ABQ (the code for the city's airport and also a colloquialism for the city) is located where the Interstate highways I-40 and I-25 meet in an interchange which locals refer to as the "Big I."
Albuquerque is home to the University of New Mexico (UNM) (GO LOBOS!!!!) and Kirtland Air Force Base as well as Sandia National Laboratories and Petroglyph National Monument. The Sandia Mountains run along the eastern side of Albuquerque and the Rio Grande flows through the city north to south. Albuquerque's climate is usually sunny and dry, averaging around 8-9 inches (250 to 300 mm) (not this year) of precipitation per year. With more than 300 days of sunshine annually, Albuquerque is considered as having one of the best climates in North America.
The city has hosted the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta every October since 1972. (oh the tourists, and the traffic... i'm soo looking forward to it)
Quadrants
Starting in the 1940's, Albuquerque has expanded greatly in area. During those years of expansion, the planning of the newer areas has considered that people don't walk, they drive. (yeah no sidewalks! the bastards) The pre-1940's parts of Albuquerque are quite different in style and scale from the post 1940's areas. These older areas include the North Valley, the South Valley, various neighborhoods near downtown, and Corrales. The newer areas generally feature 4- to 6-lane roads in a one-mile grid. Each one square mile section is divided into four 160-acre neighborhoods by smaller roads set one-half mile between major roads. When driving along major roads in the newer sections of Albuquerque, one sees strip malls, signs, and cinderblock walls. The upside of this planning style is that neighborhoods are shielded from the worst of the noise and lights on the major roads. The downside is that it is virtually impossible to go anywhere from home without driving.
Albuquerque is geographically divided into four quadrants which are officially part of the mailing address. They are NE (northeast), NW (northwest), SE (southeast), and SW (southwest). The north-south dividing line is Central Avenue (the path that Route 66 took through the city) and the east-west dividing line is the BNSF Railway tracks. Although this is technically the division of the city, in casual conversation Albuquerqueans sometimes use the perpendicular interstates I-25 and I-40 to divide the city into quadrants.
[edit]
Northeast quadrant
This quadrant has been experiencing a housing expansion since the late 1950s. It abuts the base of the Sandia Mountains and contains portions of the Sandia Heights neighborhoods, which are situated in or near the foothills and are significantly higher, in elevation and price range, than the rest of the city. (oh but they are beautiful and this is where i want to live ha! like i'll ever have that much money, a girl can dream) Running from Central Ave. and the railroad tracks to the Sandia Peak Aerial Tram, this is the largest quadrant both geographically and by population. The University of New Mexico, the Maxwell Museum of Anthropology, the Uptown area which includes both Coronado and Winrock malls, and many skyscrapers, (ha there's two) Journal Center (with over 2 million square feet of office space), Balloon Fiesta Park, and Albuquerque Academy are all located in this quadrant. Some of the most affluent regions of the city are located here, including Las Lomas-Roma, Netherwood Park, Academy Hills, Tanoan West & East, High Desert, Glenwood Hills, Sandia Heights, North Albuquerque Acres and many residences in the far northeast corner stretching beyond the actual city limits into Sandoval County.
[edit] (where I had my apartment that I miss very much, and my School(UNM) and my High school)
Northwest quadrant
This quadrant contains historic Old Town Albuquerque, which dates back to the 1700s, as well as the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center. The area has a mixture of commercial, low-income, middle-income, and some of the most expensive homes in the city. Northwest Albuquerque includes the largest section of downtown, the Rio Grande Nature Center State Park and the Bosque ("woodlands" Cottonwood forest), the Petroglyph National Monument, Double Eagle II Airport, the historic Martineztown neighborhood, and Cottonwood Mall. Additionally, the "North Valley" area, which includes some small ranches and expensive residential homes along the Rio Grande, is located in this quadrant. The City of Albuquerque engulfs the village of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque and borders Corrales in the northwest valley. The rapidly-developing area on the west side of the river is known as the "West Side" or "West Mesa" and consists primarily of traditional residential subdivisions. Here the city proper is bordered on the north by the City of Rio Rancho. This is one of the fastest growing areas in America; most of the suburban communities in the extreme northwest are characterized by endless sprawl and terrible traffic. Average one-way commutes for Westsiders are nearly 67 minutes.(mine is 45 minutes driving against traffic) With two brand new high schools (to relieve overcrowding in Cibola and West Mesa Highs, both with over 5,000 students), the area is experiencing massive growth.
[edit] (where I work and my ex-husbands house)
Southeast quadrant
Eclipse Aviation, Kirtland Air Force Base, Sandia National Laboratories, the Central New Mexico Community College main campus, the Albuquerque International Sunport, University Stadium, Isotopes Park, and University Arena ("The Pit") are located in the Southeast (SE) quadrant.
The Nob Hill and East Downtown (EDo) neighborhoods lie along Central Avenue, the border between the Southeast and Northeast quadrants. The expensive residential developments of Four Hills, Willow Wood, and Ridgecrest are also located in this quadrant. In sharp contrast to these upscale developments, however, some of the most poverty-stricken neighborhoods in the city are also located in Southeast Albuquerque. During the past twenty years, the SE area, mainly around Gibson Blvd. and Central Ave., has become the highest crime area in the city. These neighborhoods where so bad in the past that they been referred to as the "war zone" (East San Jose, or San Jo), and have been the subject of heavy police attention in an attempt to reduce crime.
[edit] (grandma's (Gibson and Broadway) house and where I spent most of my childhood)
Southwest quadrant
Traditionally consisting of agricultural and rural areas, the Southwest quadrant is often referred to as the "South Valley". (or the barrio depending on who you talk to) Although the city limits of Albuquerque do not include the area, the South Valley is considered to extend all the way to the Isleta Indian Reservation. This includes the old communities of Kinney(Kinney Brick) , Los Padillas (los Pa), Mountainview, and Pajarito. The south end of downtown Albuquerque and the Bosque ("woodlands" cottonwood forest), the historic Barelas neighborhood, the National Hispanic Cultural Center, the Rio Grande Zoo, and Tingley Beach are also located here. (where I live now and Mom's house for the last 15 years or so, past Los Pa down by Isleta)
The southwest area is currently undergoing rapid and controversial development, including large retail stores and quickly-built subdivisions. (wal-marts and cookie cutter houses, taking over the fields and ranches i loved :( so long as they dont close down the dairy( Mickey's, and the chicken farm (Cal-Maine) i will be fine, i love my fresh milk and eggs)
so yeah i dunno i felt like looking up the population of albuquerque, the sad part is it doesn't include most of albuquerque... but here is some interesting stuff.
Albuquerque (pronounced [ˈæl.bə.kɚ.ki]) is the largest city in the state of New Mexico, United States. It is the county seat of Bernalillo County, and is situated in the central part of the state, straddling the Rio Grande. The city population was 448,607 as of the 2000 U.S. census. As of the 2005 census estimate, the city's population was 494,236, with a metropolitan population of 797,940. In 2005 Albuquerque ranked as the 33rd-largest city and 62nd-largest metropolitan area in the U.S. The metropolitan population includes the city of Rio Rancho, one of the fastest growing cities in the United States.
ABQ (the code for the city's airport and also a colloquialism for the city) is located where the Interstate highways I-40 and I-25 meet in an interchange which locals refer to as the "Big I."
Albuquerque is home to the University of New Mexico (UNM) (GO LOBOS!!!!) and Kirtland Air Force Base as well as Sandia National Laboratories and Petroglyph National Monument. The Sandia Mountains run along the eastern side of Albuquerque and the Rio Grande flows through the city north to south. Albuquerque's climate is usually sunny and dry, averaging around 8-9 inches (250 to 300 mm) (not this year) of precipitation per year. With more than 300 days of sunshine annually, Albuquerque is considered as having one of the best climates in North America.
The city has hosted the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta every October since 1972. (oh the tourists, and the traffic... i'm soo looking forward to it)
Quadrants
Starting in the 1940's, Albuquerque has expanded greatly in area. During those years of expansion, the planning of the newer areas has considered that people don't walk, they drive. (yeah no sidewalks! the bastards) The pre-1940's parts of Albuquerque are quite different in style and scale from the post 1940's areas. These older areas include the North Valley, the South Valley, various neighborhoods near downtown, and Corrales. The newer areas generally feature 4- to 6-lane roads in a one-mile grid. Each one square mile section is divided into four 160-acre neighborhoods by smaller roads set one-half mile between major roads. When driving along major roads in the newer sections of Albuquerque, one sees strip malls, signs, and cinderblock walls. The upside of this planning style is that neighborhoods are shielded from the worst of the noise and lights on the major roads. The downside is that it is virtually impossible to go anywhere from home without driving.
Albuquerque is geographically divided into four quadrants which are officially part of the mailing address. They are NE (northeast), NW (northwest), SE (southeast), and SW (southwest). The north-south dividing line is Central Avenue (the path that Route 66 took through the city) and the east-west dividing line is the BNSF Railway tracks. Although this is technically the division of the city, in casual conversation Albuquerqueans sometimes use the perpendicular interstates I-25 and I-40 to divide the city into quadrants.
[edit]
Northeast quadrant
This quadrant has been experiencing a housing expansion since the late 1950s. It abuts the base of the Sandia Mountains and contains portions of the Sandia Heights neighborhoods, which are situated in or near the foothills and are significantly higher, in elevation and price range, than the rest of the city. (oh but they are beautiful and this is where i want to live ha! like i'll ever have that much money, a girl can dream) Running from Central Ave. and the railroad tracks to the Sandia Peak Aerial Tram, this is the largest quadrant both geographically and by population. The University of New Mexico, the Maxwell Museum of Anthropology, the Uptown area which includes both Coronado and Winrock malls, and many skyscrapers, (ha there's two) Journal Center (with over 2 million square feet of office space), Balloon Fiesta Park, and Albuquerque Academy are all located in this quadrant. Some of the most affluent regions of the city are located here, including Las Lomas-Roma, Netherwood Park, Academy Hills, Tanoan West & East, High Desert, Glenwood Hills, Sandia Heights, North Albuquerque Acres and many residences in the far northeast corner stretching beyond the actual city limits into Sandoval County.
[edit] (where I had my apartment that I miss very much, and my School(UNM) and my High school)
Northwest quadrant
This quadrant contains historic Old Town Albuquerque, which dates back to the 1700s, as well as the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center. The area has a mixture of commercial, low-income, middle-income, and some of the most expensive homes in the city. Northwest Albuquerque includes the largest section of downtown, the Rio Grande Nature Center State Park and the Bosque ("woodlands" Cottonwood forest), the Petroglyph National Monument, Double Eagle II Airport, the historic Martineztown neighborhood, and Cottonwood Mall. Additionally, the "North Valley" area, which includes some small ranches and expensive residential homes along the Rio Grande, is located in this quadrant. The City of Albuquerque engulfs the village of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque and borders Corrales in the northwest valley. The rapidly-developing area on the west side of the river is known as the "West Side" or "West Mesa" and consists primarily of traditional residential subdivisions. Here the city proper is bordered on the north by the City of Rio Rancho. This is one of the fastest growing areas in America; most of the suburban communities in the extreme northwest are characterized by endless sprawl and terrible traffic. Average one-way commutes for Westsiders are nearly 67 minutes.(mine is 45 minutes driving against traffic) With two brand new high schools (to relieve overcrowding in Cibola and West Mesa Highs, both with over 5,000 students), the area is experiencing massive growth.
[edit] (where I work and my ex-husbands house)
Southeast quadrant
Eclipse Aviation, Kirtland Air Force Base, Sandia National Laboratories, the Central New Mexico Community College main campus, the Albuquerque International Sunport, University Stadium, Isotopes Park, and University Arena ("The Pit") are located in the Southeast (SE) quadrant.
The Nob Hill and East Downtown (EDo) neighborhoods lie along Central Avenue, the border between the Southeast and Northeast quadrants. The expensive residential developments of Four Hills, Willow Wood, and Ridgecrest are also located in this quadrant. In sharp contrast to these upscale developments, however, some of the most poverty-stricken neighborhoods in the city are also located in Southeast Albuquerque. During the past twenty years, the SE area, mainly around Gibson Blvd. and Central Ave., has become the highest crime area in the city. These neighborhoods where so bad in the past that they been referred to as the "war zone" (East San Jose, or San Jo), and have been the subject of heavy police attention in an attempt to reduce crime.
[edit] (grandma's (Gibson and Broadway) house and where I spent most of my childhood)
Southwest quadrant
Traditionally consisting of agricultural and rural areas, the Southwest quadrant is often referred to as the "South Valley". (or the barrio depending on who you talk to) Although the city limits of Albuquerque do not include the area, the South Valley is considered to extend all the way to the Isleta Indian Reservation. This includes the old communities of Kinney(Kinney Brick) , Los Padillas (los Pa), Mountainview, and Pajarito. The south end of downtown Albuquerque and the Bosque ("woodlands" cottonwood forest), the historic Barelas neighborhood, the National Hispanic Cultural Center, the Rio Grande Zoo, and Tingley Beach are also located here. (where I live now and Mom's house for the last 15 years or so, past Los Pa down by Isleta)
The southwest area is currently undergoing rapid and controversial development, including large retail stores and quickly-built subdivisions. (wal-marts and cookie cutter houses, taking over the fields and ranches i loved :( so long as they dont close down the dairy( Mickey's, and the chicken farm (Cal-Maine) i will be fine, i love my fresh milk and eggs)
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes.
"He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"It'sPillsbury, isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
your wife?He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
storeto get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-o much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men"...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !"
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here
and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.
"Wife replies, "No , you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife towake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on apiece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him,when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draftbefore the masterpiece .
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes.
"He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"It'sPillsbury, isn't it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
your wife?He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
storeto get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-o much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men"...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !"
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here
and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.
"Wife replies, "No , you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife towake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on apiece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him,when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draftbefore the masterpiece .
Monday, August 28, 2006
hmmm this made me laugh my ass off
Horoscope for: Monday, August 28, 2006 Yesterday TODAY Tomorrow
Drea,You have entered a phase when your mind feels sharper than ever. You are thinking more about the future and about your role within your group or community. Even at work, you are focusing on your longer range goals, rather than just filling out the timesheet. Make use of the careful logic that you now have at your disposal and apply it to your current strategy.
Drea,You have entered a phase when your mind feels sharper than ever. You are thinking more about the future and about your role within your group or community. Even at work, you are focusing on your longer range goals, rather than just filling out the timesheet. Make use of the careful logic that you now have at your disposal and apply it to your current strategy.
uh... whatever.
So how do I feel today? That seems to be the question most asked lately. I feel offended complimented upset kind of sad a little angry relieved strong and a little bit hopeful.
Now the question that always follows is why, so I will play the game for once and by the rules and just go on to tell you to the best of my ab1ilities why. Now this may not make sense because feelings don’t often translate into words, but hey, it’s worth a shot.
Offended: I feel offended because someone very dear to me thinks that I will be stupid enough to repeat my mistakes time and time again. I also feel offended because my mother seems to think I am incapable of taking care of myself. I don’t feel too bad on that part because after these past few days I don’t really feel like being an adult, I would really like to resign my post as a “grown up” and go back to being five. But let’s face it... So not gonna happen.
Complimented and upset: These two go hand in hand because; some of my paintings were stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole some things, a lighter a couple of bucks from my ashtray, a couple CD’s and three paintings that were in the back seat. Apparently they didn’t want all my junk I was moving stuff from storage to my mom’s house and they saw fit to sit there and pick and choose what to take. I am upset because they took my stuff and I actually liked those paintings, but complimented because they chose them, there were about twelve there and they picked those ones. I’m kinda creeped out because what kind of freak steals unknown artwork from the back of a car, and why did they have enough time to choose? But really I can’t help but feel a little twinge of pride that they wanted something I made enough to take it.
Kind of sad: don’t really want to talk about it, which is why I guess I should. I don’t know I’m just reminiscing a little from going through all this junk.
A little angry: I’m kind of tired of people saying I’m better off. That he didn’t deserve me or that he didn’t treat me right or that I can do better. I keep hearing this from different people and I wish they would stop talking badly about him. I don’t feel like any of this is true, I feel like he felt I wasn’t worth the effort of keeping, I feel a little unappreciated, but I don’t feel like that’s all his fault he tried, there’s just something in my head that makes me feel like it just isn’t enough. He’s not a bad person, he’s really not, it’s just he’s just not right for me.
Relieved: a little relieved the end is in sight and it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be one of those bloody murder kind of divorces, and I’m finally not worried about him. I know he’s gonna be ok and I don’t think he’s gonna be trying to get me back. It’ll be sad the day we sign the papers, but we’re both ready. Neither of us is gonna try to screw the other over so that always makes things easier, and neither of us really has assets to fight over. He gets all of the furniture; I get all of the everything else. He gets the toys and electronics; I get the books and all the gadgets I want. Other than that we each take out what we brought in. the only things that are going to be a hassle are the phone bill and the car insurance cause those are both under my name but not all just for me.
Strong: I think I’m taking this pretty well. People keep telling me I’m strong and I’m getting to a point where I’m starting to believe them.
A little bit hopeful: it’s not the end of the world. And I’m not just saying that because I know it, I’m saying that cause that’s actually how I feel today
So I dropped off of the face of the planet for about a day and it caused quite a stir, apparently I am the kind of person who is never allowed to just disappear, no worries, I wont ever do that again. I just needed some time to think, without anyone trying to get in my head. My mom thinks I’m depressed my dad thinks I’m bi-polar and everyone else thinks I’m just crazy. I don’t think I’m any of these. I think I’m just going through a major life change one of many in this last year and I think I will get through it ok, better with out everyone’s two cents worth. I was sitting here thinking about it in this past year I have been kicked out kicked down picked up loved hated married divorced and promoted twice almost fired for something I didn’t do, made great new friends, lost some old ones, and I’ve lived in three different places. It’s been a busy year and I’m kind of tired. I think I’ll just pretend like it’s over and start again. Lorenzo said I should move away from here if I could, just for a little while till I become whole again… I keep thinking the beach sounds awfully nice from here.
I think its harder divorcing your best friend because part of you wants to kill him and part of you wants to hold him and make everything ok. And you know what could make it ok and you hate yourself for not giving it, for giving in for staying; but you know you would hate yourself more if you did. I’m glad we will end this on speaking terms, but I’m even gladder he finally stopped trying to get in my pants.
Now the question that always follows is why, so I will play the game for once and by the rules and just go on to tell you to the best of my ab1ilities why. Now this may not make sense because feelings don’t often translate into words, but hey, it’s worth a shot.
Offended: I feel offended because someone very dear to me thinks that I will be stupid enough to repeat my mistakes time and time again. I also feel offended because my mother seems to think I am incapable of taking care of myself. I don’t feel too bad on that part because after these past few days I don’t really feel like being an adult, I would really like to resign my post as a “grown up” and go back to being five. But let’s face it... So not gonna happen.
Complimented and upset: These two go hand in hand because; some of my paintings were stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole some things, a lighter a couple of bucks from my ashtray, a couple CD’s and three paintings that were in the back seat. Apparently they didn’t want all my junk I was moving stuff from storage to my mom’s house and they saw fit to sit there and pick and choose what to take. I am upset because they took my stuff and I actually liked those paintings, but complimented because they chose them, there were about twelve there and they picked those ones. I’m kinda creeped out because what kind of freak steals unknown artwork from the back of a car, and why did they have enough time to choose? But really I can’t help but feel a little twinge of pride that they wanted something I made enough to take it.
Kind of sad: don’t really want to talk about it, which is why I guess I should. I don’t know I’m just reminiscing a little from going through all this junk.
A little angry: I’m kind of tired of people saying I’m better off. That he didn’t deserve me or that he didn’t treat me right or that I can do better. I keep hearing this from different people and I wish they would stop talking badly about him. I don’t feel like any of this is true, I feel like he felt I wasn’t worth the effort of keeping, I feel a little unappreciated, but I don’t feel like that’s all his fault he tried, there’s just something in my head that makes me feel like it just isn’t enough. He’s not a bad person, he’s really not, it’s just he’s just not right for me.
Relieved: a little relieved the end is in sight and it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be one of those bloody murder kind of divorces, and I’m finally not worried about him. I know he’s gonna be ok and I don’t think he’s gonna be trying to get me back. It’ll be sad the day we sign the papers, but we’re both ready. Neither of us is gonna try to screw the other over so that always makes things easier, and neither of us really has assets to fight over. He gets all of the furniture; I get all of the everything else. He gets the toys and electronics; I get the books and all the gadgets I want. Other than that we each take out what we brought in. the only things that are going to be a hassle are the phone bill and the car insurance cause those are both under my name but not all just for me.
Strong: I think I’m taking this pretty well. People keep telling me I’m strong and I’m getting to a point where I’m starting to believe them.
A little bit hopeful: it’s not the end of the world. And I’m not just saying that because I know it, I’m saying that cause that’s actually how I feel today
So I dropped off of the face of the planet for about a day and it caused quite a stir, apparently I am the kind of person who is never allowed to just disappear, no worries, I wont ever do that again. I just needed some time to think, without anyone trying to get in my head. My mom thinks I’m depressed my dad thinks I’m bi-polar and everyone else thinks I’m just crazy. I don’t think I’m any of these. I think I’m just going through a major life change one of many in this last year and I think I will get through it ok, better with out everyone’s two cents worth. I was sitting here thinking about it in this past year I have been kicked out kicked down picked up loved hated married divorced and promoted twice almost fired for something I didn’t do, made great new friends, lost some old ones, and I’ve lived in three different places. It’s been a busy year and I’m kind of tired. I think I’ll just pretend like it’s over and start again. Lorenzo said I should move away from here if I could, just for a little while till I become whole again… I keep thinking the beach sounds awfully nice from here.
I think its harder divorcing your best friend because part of you wants to kill him and part of you wants to hold him and make everything ok. And you know what could make it ok and you hate yourself for not giving it, for giving in for staying; but you know you would hate yourself more if you did. I’m glad we will end this on speaking terms, but I’m even gladder he finally stopped trying to get in my pants.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
BO-ring
So because I don’t feel like writing much but I feel like posting I am going to post some book reports, essays and other random shit I did a couple years ago. I think I’m gonna start doing book reports on here because I’m a dork and I like doing them, or maybe I’ll become political again and do essays. I need to do some brain exercises, my actions have been making me feel rather stupid lately and I need to remind myself why there are people out there who think I’m not… I’m re-reading some of this stuff and my freshman English professor was right, much better at fiction and poetry, but what the hell I got a kick out of this stuff. This is why my older siblings used to pay me to do their homework. $20 a page wasn’t bad either, kept my pockets filled, my mouth shut and their grades up. So everyone was happy. There are mistakes in some of these, you can tell which ones I just threw together right before class but hey… I’m good what can I say ;)
Andrea Jaramillo
English 101.008
October 20th 2003
Me and Anzaldua
I am a hispanic female. To be more specific I am a chicana. I am bilingual and my observations of the world are much like Anzaldua. But she and I think nothing alike.
Anzaldua is very cynical in her essay. She seems like a lonely child out of place on a big playground. She speaks of the inadequacies of her language and therefore the inadequacies in her self, her illegitimacy. I have never felt these things, even though I too speak a mixed Spanish. I have been fortunate enough to always consider myself lucky to be able to understand two languages even if one of them is not a standard language. My blend of Spanglish is the language of my family and unlike Anzaldua and Rodriguez both I am willing to put it out there into the because it will always be dear to my heart no matter what; family language does not have to mean a private language.
My family language is not even ‘pure’ spanglish, meaning it isn’t just a blend of Standard English and Standard Spanish, it is a mix of ‘Pachuco’ and New Mexican Chicano Spanish and English Slang. Chale and simon are regular in my vocabulary amongst my cousins; and I didn’t even know what shopoes and lanas were in english until I was about thirteen, they are slippers and lint respectively by the way. Even now when I write a paper I have to go through just to make sure my fingers haven’t found their way to the hybrid words I am so used to speaking. But I have never been afraid of my language.
Anzeldua carries so much fear for what others are thinking of what she says that she says nothing. She speaks in English as a “common ground” when speaking to different Spanish-speakers because of what they might think. She should realize she is not judging them so they are not judging her. She should relax and speak her native tongue. She will not be misunderstood and people like me will respect her more for her bravery, and honesty. I see where she is coming from I have made the same observations myself; however, she contradicts what she sees and what she does. She sees people trying to “out chicana” each other because they don’t speak English, but she continues to speak English. We all need to realize that we need to adapt to the world. The world is not going to adapt to us. Anzaldua will never find the legitimacy she seeks if she cannot first give it to herself.
Andrea Jaramillo
Intro to Chicana Studies
Melina Vizcaino
Due November, 23 2004
Mother Tongue
The novel Mother Tongue by Demetria Martinez was first published in September 1996 by Ballentine books. This book is many things; it is a story of a woman and a man; it is a story of an unexpected love; It is a political statement putting a personal face on los disapparacidos; but most of all it is the story of a nineteen year old girl discovering what it is to be herself. The story mostly takes place in Albuquerque, NM in 1982. El Salvador is in the midst of a bloody civil war and many civilians are seeking refugee from people like Soledad, Mary’s godmother, who will help shelter them from becoming just another disappeared, those lost because they knew or said too much against the rebellion.
Mary plays host to Jose Luis at the request of Soledad. She is a nineteen, an orphan, and looking for something more in her life. She knows almost nothing of the cause which she is unwittingly fighting for, but falls in love with it when she first sees Jose Luis. Jose Luis is running away from his past so that he may live, but the reader quickly discovers that he would rather be fighting for the cause, he is living under a false name and living a lie. Mary is dubbed Maria by him and she falls in love with him. He does not think that she can be in love with someone whom she doesn’t know but she does. Maria gives herself to him to make herself feel complete, he takes her to make him forget the pain of what he is running away from.
One night after conceiving a child together (unbeknownst to Jose Luis ) Jose Luis is triggered into a post-traumatic episode and beats Maria, who in return remembers being molested as a child. This is the beginning of the end for their love and he goes back to El Salvador not knowing that he has a child. In the end, we see Jose Luis jr. and Maria in El Salvador looking to find what has happened to Jose Luis and discovering that he is still alive and his name was indeed Jose Luis. Jose Luis jr. eventually meets his father and truly takes on his name.
This novel is truly a coming of age novel. We watch as Mary transforms from a girl out for herself, just trying make life worth living, to Maria the woman who fights for her convictions. Although the story is told in multiple perspectives and multiple forms, it is quintessentially Maria’s story. She tells of her life through grocery lists diary entries letters from other people. It is her story she is the one that is laying everything out but she does it through other people. This is symbolic of how peoples lives become intertwined. Jose Luis is the man that made her a woman both literally and physically, Soledad is her protector, her son is quite literally a piece of herself and her love, and her young self is the structure of who she was and the foundation of who she now is. The book takes in parts of these people to show her story because it is because of these people that she even has a story.
It is easy for one to relate to Maria because her experience is one that all women share, whether we are going through the transformation from girl to woman or we went through it many moons ago it is something we all remember and relate to. Mary was in love with Jose Luis the Ideal, Maria loved Jose Luis the man. It is often the same for many women they are left to wonder if it is really their first lover or the loss of their innocence that they miss. Jose Luis knew that Mary was in love with the ideal the man seeking refuge, and he still allowed himself the solace that came with laying with her. His first love Ana knew that it would happen, that her man would find comfort in another woman when she was gone, she also knew that he was capable of exploding.
Jose Luis did explode the night they made Jose Luis. There were other signs of what was to come in the times they made love at Maria’s house the room looking as if it were bathed in fire, the image of them striking at each other like cobras, her fear. Her fear at the time was not of him striking her but of him leaving her, none the less it was fear. The more in tune to him she became, the more she transformed from Mary to Maria, the more she realized that he would leave her that to him “love equals flight”. She knew that he would leave her but she did not know why until later when she found out about Ana. To him to love someone was to put them in danger, to expose them to the fire, to strike at them. To get to close was to cause trouble that is why at the height of their passion the night they created their child he lost it, he hurt Maria the way El Salvador had hurt his precious Ana.
The child that came of Maria and Jose Luis would be the antithesis of Maria. He would be very male and very focused in his beliefs. He would seek solace in his computer as she sought hers on paper. He would study science and rally for top soil erosion, she would become a voice for the cause she fell in love with when she met Jose Luis. Mary at the age of nineteen was without conviction seeking consumer culture and wisdom through horoscopes; at nineteen, Jose Luis was as full of conviction as his father. Yet in the end they met for a common cause, knowing Jose Luis the man, knowing if he lived, who he was. They were searching for two different reasons, she because he was her love, he because he was his father. But they were unified in the end.
This novel is important not only because Maria was a chicana who was searching for her roots, which is what Chicana studies is about, but because she discovered herself in a way that we can all relate to. She displayed herself in three different ways: She was Mary her nineteen year old self; she was a disembodied Mary being remembered by Maria; and she was Maria the woman looking back on her life. In the book she was searching, though maybe unconsciously, for her own identity amongst those around her. Mary was looking to see what she would become, disembodied Mary was trying to see who she was, and Maria seeks who she is. She had to struggle through her immaturity, her romantic notions her memories of the past to allow herself to embrace her heritage. This in itself is the true struggle of chicanas, not trying to identify ones self to others, but to discover truly, what that identity is.
Andrea N. Jaramillo
Shoudt
English 102.033
11 March 2004
We Gather Here Today...
Some people in congress are trying to take away the rights of Americans. You must excuse the writer, she is being melodramatic in that sentence, they are not trying to take them away, they simply so not want to give these Americans the rights they deserve at all. They are purposefully discriminating against this group of Americans. Many members of congress, state governors and President Bush have plans to make gay and lesbian marriages illegal. This should upset every American who cares about their rights. If they can take this right from these Americans who is to say that they will not take the most prized rights from all Americans? What if they decide to do away with freedom of speech? What will this country do then? Actually that is a bit carried away. Besides it is not like congress is discriminating against Hispanic-Americans or African-Americans or any other hyphenated Americans if you prefer. No,no the issue is gays and lesbians here, making it illegal for them to make choices about their own lives. Why shouldn’t congress, the president and unnamed “Governators” refuse them the right to marry whom they choose? It will only make these Americans feel uncomfortable if they are allowed rights like the rest of the country. Congress has them categorized and restricted as it is, why change now? All Americans both homo and heterosexual should feel totally inflamed by the fact that our government is purposefully ignoring the inalienable rights of homosexual couples and by the discrimination against this group. It is reminiscent of the segregation that lasted until the mid 1900's. It is not only wrong, it is downright unconstitutional.
There are three major arguments against gay marriage, that it is sacrilegious, that it is harmful to children, and that it makes people uncomfortable. San Fransisco mayor Gavin Newsom addressed this last issue with a new twist. He tried making it commonplace and allowed city hall to give out marriage licences to same sex couples, 6,000 in the first week they were offered. A Time article gave a hint to the sentiment that followed.
Newsom’s decision has set off a nation wide chain reaction that is putting public
officials on the spot... President Bush declared himself “troubled” hinting that San Francisco’s actions make him more likely to support a constitutional amendment
banning gay marriage (Taylor 1).
To this Newsome reacted with a quote that makes one think about the subject “Put a human face on it... Give me a story give me lives” (Taylor 1). When one thinks about the fact that these people whose lives may change by the decisions made by congress and those above, are in fact human, it forces them to look at themselves and realize there is nothing to be uncomfortable about. These people were all created with the same ingredients, they live in the same country they have the same emotions. They are all human. There is nothing to be troubled over. The California measure changing the definition of marriage to mean a union between a man and a woman is discriminatory and is therefore unconstitutional. Any amendment to the United States constitution that does the same will also be discriminatory and will be as Newsom said “separate but unequal” (Taylor 3). One should be ‘troubled’ by a government that would purposefully choose to discriminate against a group of people. One should be uncomfortable with a congress that would take a proposal for such an amendment seriously. Mayor Newsom said it well “I don’t agree with separate but unequal” (Taylor 3).
The second most common reason people are opposed to gay marriage is also the strongest argument one could possibly choose against anything it may pose a risk to children. There is not any evidence at this time that would suggest that there is any truth to this argument. But it is a compelling argument as an article in USA today put it; “they say that letting gays marry will hurt children by weakening the institution of marriage” (Broken 1). The argument is flawed in and of itself. Gay and lesbian couples cannot marry now in many states so there is no idea of the “institution of marriage” to children raised in these families. As the article also states “even the most ardent opponents of gay marriage concede their claims that gay unions will hurt children are based on supposition and anecdotal evidence” (Broken 1). There is no real evidence to support this theory. “Yet by focusing their efforts of gay marriage, amendment sponsors divert attention from the broken homes that create challenges for the young” (Broken 1) there have been studies by both the Institute for American Values and the Center for Law and Social Policy that show that children from broken homes are more likely to drop out of high school, commit crimes leading to prison before age 30 and are more likely to divorce . There is no evidence supporting any of the above as a result of being raised by a homosexual couple. In short there is more evidence pointing to the breakup of heterosexual marriages harming children than there is proof that homosexual marriages add trouble to the lives of children. “Amendment backers owe the nation proof that the drastic constitutional stem they favor would truly make life better for children.” (Broken 2)
The final and most common argument against gay and lesbian marriages is that they are sacrilegious. Unfortunately for those who think that this is cause for an amendment, homosexuals are protected from this by the separation of church and state. Gay and lesbian couples usually do not go to a church to be wed, but if they were as Brent Hawkes, pastor of the Toronto Metropolitan Community Church said in his interview with Christianity Today “Religious freedom rights already protect clergy from legal challenges if they refuse to wed same sex couples on biblical grounds” (Lowes 2). Church members needn’t be worried that legalizing homosexual marriages everywhere is going to hinder their religious experience, the church is not required to honor these marriages. In Canada they seem to have found a balance between homosexual marriage and religious experience six of their eighty Anglican parishes are authorized to wed same sex couples. Also they have changed the common law definition of marriage from “a man and a woman to two persons” (Lowes 1). No one is forcing any church to believe in a “two person” union, but even if they were the beliefs of any church cannot, in compliance with the constitution, be used as grounds to change a law.
None of the three major arguments that are commonly made against gay and lesbian marriages are valid. Congress and many Americans are spending much time and energy to see to it that gay and lesbian couples cannot make the choice in who they marry. Two people who love each other above all else cannot marry without a maelstrom of controversy, yet a gay man can marry a straight woman for her money and no one can do anything about it despite the fact that he obviously does not love her, and many people would not even blink an eye. Why can’t congress allow two people who love each other to marry with the same amount of fuss (none)? Why doesn’t congress give gays and lesbians the respect that all human beings deserve and allow them to make life choices for themselves, to do as they choose? Besides, what exactly is it about two people who love each other more than life itself uniting their souls in the union of marriage that makes people so squeamish? Who is the president to prevent these people from getting married? Americans should start taking a stand for the rights of these people before the government starts telling its countrymen and women that interracial marriages and the like are not allowed. Americans need to stop standing there and letting the government tell them what they can do.
Andrea Jaramillo
Intro To Chicana Studies
Take Home Mid Term
Due October 12, 2004
Chicana Poetry
Chicana poetry is a difficult subject to analyze to the satisfaction of every one because Chicana Poetry is written not with one single solitary purpose but many. It is up to the reader to determine what that purpose is, and many readers may see the poems in many different ways. It may be that a poem was written by a scorned lover, maybe by a woman reminiscing an old lover, perhaps by someone with so much passion that she couldn’t help but shout out “Viva la Raza!” on paper. One poem could be all of these. In this essay I will analyze two poems by Bernice Zamora that deal with the issues of self identity and the identity of chicanas as a whole, “So Not to Be Mottled” and “Progenitor” In both of these poems the author uses her own voice, her own self to describe the Chicana Identity.
Bernice Zamora’s “So Not To Be Mottled” is a very short but very poignant poem “You insult me/ When you say I’m/ Schizophrenic./ My divisions are/ infinite.” What she is saying in this poem is that she cannot be classified by two things. She is not just Mexican or American, she is not just a girl or a woman. No person really is that two dimensional. This is her way of saying it. She puts an emphasis on the word “my” showing us that this is really about herself, however, any one who reads and analyzes this poem will see that this complexity lies within all women. No one woman is simply a mother or a daughter for instance, just because one becomes a mother themselves does not mean that they stop being a daughter to their own mother. Women are capable of being many things at once, especially Chicana women, they have to walk the tightrope between being considered agringada to their Chicana friends or too Chicana to their Anglo friends. The Chicana learns to ‘divide’ herself as a tool for survival. The chicana learns to be both Ave and Eva, a mix of that which is good and that which is socially considered bad. These are the divisions Zamora is talking about, in this poem and continues in the next selection. These divisions are infinite in that they are always changing to best suit a situation, but it is not just a defense mechanism on the part of the Chicana, she does not intentionally divide herself. Its is an integral part of every Chicana. It is simply her nature.
The second poem I selected, “Progenitor”, is also about divisions in a Chicana although these are more fully illustrated for the reader. She is a pedophile of a father, a mourning mother, an incestuous cousin, and a whore, but she is also the abuelos and the children, the past and the future and this poem is her way of looking for a change. The father in the poem is a drunk who sleeps with his daughter and her friends, he is a soul broken by violence in society but also a representation of that violence in himself. The mother is mourning the loss of her son who killed himself, we are left to wonder if she was a bad mother if she was never there, if she was over bearing and he sought escape, or maybe if she fell into the Chicana stereotype where a son can do no wrong and just turned a blind eye when he needed help. There are two ways to interpret the cousin, he could either have manipulated the young girl into loving him, coerced her into marriage, or the little girl could be the one from before, that was preyed on by her father and saw her older primo as a way out of that life. There are many ways to interpret the stanza with the whore, she could be just a girl mourning a boy, the same one that the mother mourns, who is not really a whore but has allowed herself to believe what society has told her. She could be a literal whore, mourning the loss of a young man who touched her life, who saw something in her when no one else did. She could also be a whore who was looking for a way out in a man but all he gave her was flowers and now she is returning them in defiance, saying “I don’t need you I’ll find my own way.” The children and the Abuelos are the past and the future and they are both asking for a change, they are the only ones who seem to have hope that change is possible, be it through spiritual resurrections, Jesus coming down again to save them, or through emotional resurrections on behalf of the people, them saving themselves. Zamora took it upon herself in this poem to cross the lines. she is talking about things that society has deemed taboo, but she is not just talking about them she is bringing them upon herself. She crosses gender lines she is both the man and the woman in this poem. She again defeats the AVE/EVA theory, she is the mother and the whore, the bastard father and the savior cousin. She proves in this poem that her divisions really are infinite. She has six differing voices and still manages to be herself.
These poems were selected from the anthology Infinite Divisions: An Anthology of Chicana Literature. The title of this book is appropriate, Chicana literature itself has its million different intricacies that make the meanings so diverse, and the chicana herself as I have just explained is divided. Everything in life is divided one way or another and admitting that one has infinite divisions is not a flaw as society seems to believe, the connotation of schizophrenic being one of fear, but a gift that woman should embrace.
5/31/2005
(I never sent this and things are much better, don’t know why I’m posting it but I read it and its still fresh in my mind)
Daddy
You made me cry today . . . you weren’t even here and you made me cry. Not that I think you’ll care at this point. But I thought you should know. The last time I wrote you a letter like this I was a very sad little girl, now im a very upset young woman. I hate you. It hurts me so much to say that but I know that deep down it’s true. The sad part is I don’t miss the part of you that those words will hurt, I hate the part of you that is too far gone to care. I miss my daddy and Im tired of only ever seeing the bad part of my father. I want my daddy. You told me when I was very young I should never use the word hate unless I really meant it, you made me look it up and write the definition and write it like, a thousand times. I did I still remember the fucking definition: an extreme feeling of animosity or dislike; hatred. Its impounded in my head it’s a deep, personal feeling and one I wish I didn’t have toward the man I used to look up to. I miss my daddy. Im twenty years old and my father is still alive and well. I shouldn’t have to miss my daddy but I do. I keep having this recurring dream where im at your funeral and I am no sadder than I am now because I have already lost my daddy . . . I don’t know where he went but I hate the man you have become these past few years. You’re such a hypocrite. You used to talk about family all the time and how we needed to stick together because were all we can be sure we’ll always have. What happened? I WANT MY DADDY BACK. I HAVE BEEN NUMB FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS TRYING NOT TO BE MAD AT YOU TRYING TO REASON WITH MYSELF, TELLING MYSELF THAT I HAD NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY, THAT IT’S A PROBLEM WITH MYSELF. WELL IT’S NOT! I MISS MY DADDY!
I am accomplishing things in my life that I didn’t think were possible and you don’t even seem to care. Im going to college. I am on the track to become a doctor. And my daddy’s not there. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. WHERE ARE YOU? Im sitting here sobbing like a fucking idiot and I can’t figure out why. I miss my daddy. We used to talk. I used to think you were one of my best friends and now I don’t even know you anymore. I love you. That’s why it hurts me so much to hate you. This whole emotional break started because I read a letter you wrote to some kids. It was so full of the love and compassion I have been missing from you that I couldn’t deal with it. The letter was to Kevin and Amber and Statcia. You talk about how great and loving and beautiful and wonderful these kids are and they’re not yours. Im yours you’re my daddy Damn it. That letter is almost fucking poetry and it’s these kids you don’t even know . . . I need to hear those things too, I need a pat on my back and some encouragement. Instead when I ask you to sign a paper for something that means the world to me you’re not willing to go through the effort. You were willing to go through all this trouble for a little girl that’s not yours looking all over town for a perfect doll. Writing how wonderful she is and you can’t even do the simplest thing for me, can’t come to see me when that’s the only excuse I can muster to see my daddy. School means so much to me. It is my dream to become educated and make something of myself. I wanted you to be part of that dream . . . but I guess my feeble attempt at seeing you so I could brag about how wonderful I am was wasted. I used to want to do it to make you proud. I don’t know why I do it anymore. I’ve become my own cheerleader but I have no one to cheer to.
Your alienation of this family is only part of the reason that I am so angry at you im also upset because of what it has done to me, to everyone else. I love you so much and I miss you but I have to say this im going insane please forgive me . . . I hate your computer. I hate the people you meet on the computer I hate the cyber sex, I hate the women. The last time I was over and you actually came to the dinner table you left because you got a phone call. You said it was Jeff . . . that he had to tell you a joke. You lied. I heard a woman’s voice. You had the fucking earpiece turned up so loud I heard her. Who is she? Is she the reason why you ignore your wife of twenty-five years? Is she the reason you have alienated her so much that she has become only a shell of the woman she can be? I used to be so happy that my parents were the only ones I knew that were still together . . . now I think it’s a joke, you’re held together by a piece of paper. You don’t care anymore. WELL, LET ME LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET. MY MOM LOVES YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. You take that for granted . . . its one of the saddest things I have ever seen. I have seen the look on her face when you get phone calls or are on the computer for hours on end. Or decide to eat in front of that fucking machine. It kills me to see that look. It’s like your stab her in the heart every time . . . I think she knows it’s not Jeff as well . . . she just loves you too damn much to say anything. There was a while back . . . when that Vicki woman moved here that I was sure you were having another affair. I still don’t know why but until you deny it to my face im going to believe that. I’ve never met the woman . . . I don’t know why I would believe that . . . I just want you to look me in the eye and tell me it’s not true. I hate to have to ask that of you but I am. I need to know that I can still have some faith in you.
I have your fathers day present. I was gonna give it to you on fathers day . . . but you didn’t see it necessary to show up . . . so I told mom I was broke. It’s a fishing rod by the way . . . and a coupon good for a fishing trip for two. I’ve been waiting to hear about something nice you did for my mom or my nana or to see you myself and catch a glimpse of my daddy, the man you used to be to give it to you since father’s day was just one more obligation you weren’t feeling up to. I’m gonna take it back. I’ll give you a gift certificate or a check. It was just wishful thinking on my behalf anyway.
I don’t care that you don’t have a job. I don’t care that you’re depressed. Hell I wouldn’t even care that much that you were on the computer all the time except that it feels like we are no longer a family. I find myself distancing myself from the rest of the family because I don’t want to feel the absence that is created by you not being there . . . and let’s face it even when you are there you’re not there. I know these words will hurt and I wish I was a big enough person not to have to say them . . . but I can’t keep bottling up these feelings im making myself sick. And I need to care about me even if im not sure if you still do.
I love you daddy, I always will no matter what you do to me . . . I can only hope that you will make it easier for me to love you, rather than to feel this animosity.
Andrea Jaramillo
Introduction to Chicana Studies
Due September 28, 2004
... And They Can Take Them Too
“Real Women Have Curves” starring America Ferrera, Lupe Ontiveros, George Lopez. Directed by Patricia Cardoso, director of photography Jim Denault. Screen play by George Lavoo and Josefina Lopez, based on a play by Josefina Lopez. Edited by Sloane Klevin. C. 2003 Home Box Office Entertainment.
“Real Women Have Curves” is the story of 18-year-old Ana, played by America Ferrera. Ana finds herself stuck in a life that is not her own. The movie is about her struggle to make the decisions that will make her a woman. Her demanding (and slightly psychotic) mother, played by Lupe Ontiveros, wants her to stay home get married and make dresses for perfect women in her sister’s factory for the rest of her life. She tries convincing Ana that she is fat and ugly so she will not seek a better life, yet she wants her to lose weight and find a husband so she can have grand children. Ana has other plans. Pushed by a caring teacher, played by George Lopez, she applies and is accepted to Columbia University. Ana sees the opportunity to make a change in her life but is unsure because she does not have her mothers blessing, and has been programmed by said mother to think that she is worthless for anything other than so called “womanly things.”
I enjoyed this film, it is beautifully filmed, Jim Denault did a wonderful job, making each frame feel as if it could be a still photograph. He managed to make a statement even with the lighting. In the dress factory where her sister worked the lighting was almost dingy, the lighting around the market and on the way to Ana’s house showed the dirt. The light itself gave you a sense of being trapped. Antithetically when the lighting was shown on Anas school, which was in a primarily white side of town, the lighting was bright cheerful, the same with the gardens that her father tended and the office of her sister’s contractor. All of these anglicized places were shown in a bright light, making everything seem just about racist, and making the Chicano people in these scenes seem out of place. It almost felt like the light itself was giving a social commentary.
Patricia Cardoso also did a great job in directing this film, but while the character development of Ana was especially poignant, the rest of the family got left behind. Ana truly blooms in this film changing from a shy girl with unchanneled rage to a young woman with a purpose. When the film begins Ana is yelling at her family because her mother wants her to stay home on her last day of school and she feels trapped. When she does go to school everyone is talking about their plans for the future and Ana makes some up because she has none. College is considered a “family affair” by her mother and she will have none of it. She is oppressing her own daughter’s dreams and potential because hers were at one point, she even goes as far as to say that she has been working since she was thirteen, it is a matter of priority that Ana does to, that it is only fair. Ana overcomes her mothers oppression and flourishes with a little help from her Anglo boyfriend that her mother wouldn’t approve of and the caring teacher that she thinks is a busybody.
I liked this film because it was truthful, life was portrayed as it really is for a young chicana. Ana had to deal with her mother’s expectations for her as a woman; she wanted her to be an object for her husband and only saw her as a body, ignoring completely the brilliant mind she had in her head. Ana had to deal with cultural issues as well. Her mother would not have approved of her Anglo boyfriend as I said before but that was not blatantly said, it was implied in the film by the way she had to sneak around with him. Had Ana gone out with a young Hispanic/Chicano/Latino guy her mother would have pressed for a quick engagement and marriage. Ana also had to deal with her mother finding out that she lost her virginity and calling her a whore. Her own mother thought she changed so much because she gave into human urges. This movie also does not leave you with the illusion of a happy ending for everyone, Ana’s sister is in the same position at the end of the film that she was in the beginning, making dresses for eighteen dollars that would be sold for 600. She was basically working slave labor and wouldn’t allow herself to dream of much more.
I also enjoyed this film because in spite of all of the gritty truth it gave me hope. As Ana’s character developed I saw more and more of myself being revealed. I, being a chicana and therefore from a chicana family, have had some of the same experiences as her and it made me realize that I am not the only one with a family who seems to value good looks and worn out principles to intelligence and happiness. Ana struggled to make something of herself before she even knew she would be admitted to Columbia. Ana walked ten blocks and then took two buses to get to her high school every day. She was struggling to make something of herself. Her mother was holding on to the worn out values that she should be home that education was not important. Education is important in this day and age. Ana did not want to live her life slaving away for nothing, a beast of burden for those with more than her. In the end we see Ana standing on her own in New York, she still does not have her mother’s blessings but she has finally allowed her self to receive her own. She realized not only do real women have curves but that they can take any that life decides to send their way.
Andrea Jaramillo
9/15/04
Composition #1
Que Horrible !
Bonjour, je m’appelle Andrea, et je suis malade. Je n’ai pas une tousse o un nez que coule.
J’ai une maladie très originale. J’ai une personne dans moi ventre. On commence ce matin. Je me lève à sept heurs comment d’habitude, mais j’ai mal au ventre. Je me regarde moi ventre et me rends compte de j’ai une main dans moi poitrine. Qu’horrible ! Mais, on ne cesse pas ici. C’est suit de une autre main, et deux bras, une tête, un cou, deux épaules, une poitrine, un ventre et un partent d’une jambe. Par la suite on sort un genou et un pied, mais es tout ! J’ai un part de une personne dans moi ventre. Est trop inconfortable.
Je veux j’ai une maladie d’habitude, une fièvre, une grippe, un rhume. Au lieu de cela c’est cette personne dans moi. Je n’aime pas cette personne. Ne m’attendent pas ! Elle a seulement une jambe, mais elle ne m’attend pas. Et s’habille dans moi vêtement. Je veux son pied il part bientôt. Mais ce n’est pas la plus mauvais parte, la plus mauvais parte c’est elle a renverse mon thé ce matin. Comment grossier !
Andrea Jaramillo
English 101.008
Leslie Fox
7 December 2003
Stem Cell Research: Responsibility vs. Ability
Imagine a world without diseases. A world where people with Parkinson’s disease have complete control over their bodies, Alzheimer’s patients can remember how to tie their shoes, people with nerve disorders are non existent. Now imagine a world where everyone is the same. Each child on the playground is a perfect copy of their parents free from any defect that may make them ‘different,’ parents need not worry about their child’s well-being because they have the blue prints on hand to make another for ‘spare parts’. Both of these scenarios are becoming very real possibilities; only the first seems like something worth hoping for. Genetic engineering and stem cell research have both made vast developments over the past five years, so much more is possible now than anyone could have ever imagined. Stem cell research is providing answers to the quest for cures; it is making the future of medicine look a little brighter. Society needs to unravel the perfect balance of this mix of genetic engineering technology and the enormous responsibility that comes with the abilities they are discovering.
Genetic engineering is the manipulation of chromosomes to either eliminate the propensity toward a certain defect, or to choose attributes of a child i.e. the parents can choose whether they want a boy or a girl, brown eyes or blue. Stem cell research is the growth of cells to replace damaged or defective cells i.e. creating new bone marrow to eliminate the chance of rejection in a leukemia patient. It is necessary to use embryos because they can copy any kind of cell for stem cell research and because genetic engineering creates a new child. The controversy behind both genetic engineering and stem cell research is that both of them start with a human embryo as explained by journal of medical ethics author Michael Spriggs:
First of all the eggs have to be donated and retrieved from young women (though most come from in vitro fertilization patients). Then the scientist has to remove the chromosomes (DNA) from the eggs by carefully piercing the outer membrane and by applying suction to remove the cytoplasm. A skin cell (other cell to be reproduced, or DNA from the host) is drawn into a needle and inserted into the egg and a pulse of electricity is used with the hope of fusing the egg (“Cloning”, p1).
Donor eggs often come from the eggs left over after a successful in vitro fertilization (IVF), which brings up the question of parentage of the clone, is it the donor mothers, or the DNA host’s child, fortunately the technology has not progressed far enough to ask that question; there is enough trouble keeping the IVF parentage straight.
There have been many cases of IVF mix-ups, not just in the United States but also in Britain and the Netherlands. These mix-ups are only obvious when the resultant child is of mixed race as has happened numerous times, one such incident is recorded by Spriggs:
In the US in 1998, a white woman gave birth to one white baby and one black baby in what has become known as the “scrambled eggs” case after a bitter custody battle the black couple whose embryo was mistakenly implanted in to the white woman won custody over the black baby (Spriggs, “IVF” p1).
Couples hoping to have children of their own turn to IVF as a solution, but there is no guarantee that the child produces will be their own. Parent-hopefuls and scientists dedicate thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours to creating a family and there is no guarantee that the child will even be one hundred percent theirs, many pay around two thousand dollars for genetic testing to assure them the child is theirs; the “mistakes” are gotten rid of by “emergency procedures to have the embryos removed”(Spriggs “IVF” p1). The technology today cannot keep mishaps like this from happening in a procedure done since the mid 1980’s, how is it be expected that the technology can be trusted to create the child that was dreamed up by the parents without more physically and emotionally costly mistakes? It cannot. Today’s society is not ready for the responsibility of genetic engineering not until they can track every step of every case they create. The technology, but not the wisdom exists to play God, society is not responsible enough to create a new race of children.
Stem cell research is easier to keep track of than genetic engineering. There is no person created as a result of making the stem cells, only cells, and cells are much easier to be determined as being what the scientist expected or not. Nevertheless, human stem cell research is currently banned in the United States thanks to a four-year moratorium placed by the Presidents Council of Bioethics on July 11 2002(Spriggs, “Cloning” 2). Currently there is a bill in the senate that not only bans stem cell research but also drugs and treatments developed by these techniques. Most Americans are against human cloning and see stem cell research as unethical. However, according to Congressman Jim Moran”
Embryonic stem cells are derived from frozen embryos left over by couples who have been seeking a pregnancy; embryos aren’t being created for the sake of being destroyed. Indeed after a couple has succeeded in establishing a pregnancy, the left over embryos are normally discarded ( p1).
People in opposition to stem cell research see it as related to abortion, “it is their right to hold that view but it is a religious belief that shouldn’t be allowed to impede scientific development” (Moran pgph5). These embryos were not going to be made into children at all, at least through research they are used to help cure something rather than having been created in vain.
While one can only hope for a world free of genetic defects, society needs to pull back and ask ourselves if we are ready to create “perfect children”. Britain is considering genetic engineering as a means of population control, this could be useful in our overcrowded society, but perhaps we should look toward the resources that are readily available, and less drastic. The world needs to ponder many things before diving blindly into genetic engineering. Genetic engineering can potentially eliminate genetic disorders, but at what cost? Will conceived children have fewer successes than those who will be created because they may have ‘defects’? Will society look down upon these children ruefully because they are not genetically perfect? Society today still has issues about sexual preference and race. They are not ready to throw another discriminating factor into the mix. They are not ready for the incredible accountability that comes with the ability to engineer a perfect person. One should look toward stem cell research as a means of curing rather than eradicating disease for the time being.
The moratorium on stem cell research needs to lift. There are more benefits to curing Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and leukemia than there are costs. people who are opposed to this research are trying to conserve the right to life of the embryos, a noble quest, however they are denying the right to life of the people suffering from debilitating diseases. While scientists can continue their research using mice, they cannot use the research because of potentially deadly diseases found in the mouse cells. The FDA will not allow them to test these created cells on humans because it could be more devastating than the disease they are trying to cure. The living and the future generations of people who this research can help need consideration when looking at this debate. One should choose a chance for a cell to make a difference over the death of that cell. The research needs to continue so that scientists can find the cures this research has to offer. The world needs to look at the possibilities rather than the short-term consequences for both of these situations. The possibility of the world rejecting genetically altered children is very real; many societies are not open to differences. The possibility of fixing any number of disorders, diseases and other various epidemics is very real, we can help those who have suffered for years. The technology is there. The world needs to decide the most responsible way to utilize it.
Andrea Jaramillo
English 101.008
October 20th 2003
Me and Anzaldua
I am a hispanic female. To be more specific I am a chicana. I am bilingual and my observations of the world are much like Anzaldua. But she and I think nothing alike.
Anzaldua is very cynical in her essay. She seems like a lonely child out of place on a big playground. She speaks of the inadequacies of her language and therefore the inadequacies in her self, her illegitimacy. I have never felt these things, even though I too speak a mixed Spanish. I have been fortunate enough to always consider myself lucky to be able to understand two languages even if one of them is not a standard language. My blend of Spanglish is the language of my family and unlike Anzaldua and Rodriguez both I am willing to put it out there into the because it will always be dear to my heart no matter what; family language does not have to mean a private language.
My family language is not even ‘pure’ spanglish, meaning it isn’t just a blend of Standard English and Standard Spanish, it is a mix of ‘Pachuco’ and New Mexican Chicano Spanish and English Slang. Chale and simon are regular in my vocabulary amongst my cousins; and I didn’t even know what shopoes and lanas were in english until I was about thirteen, they are slippers and lint respectively by the way. Even now when I write a paper I have to go through just to make sure my fingers haven’t found their way to the hybrid words I am so used to speaking. But I have never been afraid of my language.
Anzeldua carries so much fear for what others are thinking of what she says that she says nothing. She speaks in English as a “common ground” when speaking to different Spanish-speakers because of what they might think. She should realize she is not judging them so they are not judging her. She should relax and speak her native tongue. She will not be misunderstood and people like me will respect her more for her bravery, and honesty. I see where she is coming from I have made the same observations myself; however, she contradicts what she sees and what she does. She sees people trying to “out chicana” each other because they don’t speak English, but she continues to speak English. We all need to realize that we need to adapt to the world. The world is not going to adapt to us. Anzaldua will never find the legitimacy she seeks if she cannot first give it to herself.
Andrea Jaramillo
Intro to Chicana Studies
Melina Vizcaino
Due November, 23 2004
Mother Tongue
The novel Mother Tongue by Demetria Martinez was first published in September 1996 by Ballentine books. This book is many things; it is a story of a woman and a man; it is a story of an unexpected love; It is a political statement putting a personal face on los disapparacidos; but most of all it is the story of a nineteen year old girl discovering what it is to be herself. The story mostly takes place in Albuquerque, NM in 1982. El Salvador is in the midst of a bloody civil war and many civilians are seeking refugee from people like Soledad, Mary’s godmother, who will help shelter them from becoming just another disappeared, those lost because they knew or said too much against the rebellion.
Mary plays host to Jose Luis at the request of Soledad. She is a nineteen, an orphan, and looking for something more in her life. She knows almost nothing of the cause which she is unwittingly fighting for, but falls in love with it when she first sees Jose Luis. Jose Luis is running away from his past so that he may live, but the reader quickly discovers that he would rather be fighting for the cause, he is living under a false name and living a lie. Mary is dubbed Maria by him and she falls in love with him. He does not think that she can be in love with someone whom she doesn’t know but she does. Maria gives herself to him to make herself feel complete, he takes her to make him forget the pain of what he is running away from.
One night after conceiving a child together (unbeknownst to Jose Luis ) Jose Luis is triggered into a post-traumatic episode and beats Maria, who in return remembers being molested as a child. This is the beginning of the end for their love and he goes back to El Salvador not knowing that he has a child. In the end, we see Jose Luis jr. and Maria in El Salvador looking to find what has happened to Jose Luis and discovering that he is still alive and his name was indeed Jose Luis. Jose Luis jr. eventually meets his father and truly takes on his name.
This novel is truly a coming of age novel. We watch as Mary transforms from a girl out for herself, just trying make life worth living, to Maria the woman who fights for her convictions. Although the story is told in multiple perspectives and multiple forms, it is quintessentially Maria’s story. She tells of her life through grocery lists diary entries letters from other people. It is her story she is the one that is laying everything out but she does it through other people. This is symbolic of how peoples lives become intertwined. Jose Luis is the man that made her a woman both literally and physically, Soledad is her protector, her son is quite literally a piece of herself and her love, and her young self is the structure of who she was and the foundation of who she now is. The book takes in parts of these people to show her story because it is because of these people that she even has a story.
It is easy for one to relate to Maria because her experience is one that all women share, whether we are going through the transformation from girl to woman or we went through it many moons ago it is something we all remember and relate to. Mary was in love with Jose Luis the Ideal, Maria loved Jose Luis the man. It is often the same for many women they are left to wonder if it is really their first lover or the loss of their innocence that they miss. Jose Luis knew that Mary was in love with the ideal the man seeking refuge, and he still allowed himself the solace that came with laying with her. His first love Ana knew that it would happen, that her man would find comfort in another woman when she was gone, she also knew that he was capable of exploding.
Jose Luis did explode the night they made Jose Luis. There were other signs of what was to come in the times they made love at Maria’s house the room looking as if it were bathed in fire, the image of them striking at each other like cobras, her fear. Her fear at the time was not of him striking her but of him leaving her, none the less it was fear. The more in tune to him she became, the more she transformed from Mary to Maria, the more she realized that he would leave her that to him “love equals flight”. She knew that he would leave her but she did not know why until later when she found out about Ana. To him to love someone was to put them in danger, to expose them to the fire, to strike at them. To get to close was to cause trouble that is why at the height of their passion the night they created their child he lost it, he hurt Maria the way El Salvador had hurt his precious Ana.
The child that came of Maria and Jose Luis would be the antithesis of Maria. He would be very male and very focused in his beliefs. He would seek solace in his computer as she sought hers on paper. He would study science and rally for top soil erosion, she would become a voice for the cause she fell in love with when she met Jose Luis. Mary at the age of nineteen was without conviction seeking consumer culture and wisdom through horoscopes; at nineteen, Jose Luis was as full of conviction as his father. Yet in the end they met for a common cause, knowing Jose Luis the man, knowing if he lived, who he was. They were searching for two different reasons, she because he was her love, he because he was his father. But they were unified in the end.
This novel is important not only because Maria was a chicana who was searching for her roots, which is what Chicana studies is about, but because she discovered herself in a way that we can all relate to. She displayed herself in three different ways: She was Mary her nineteen year old self; she was a disembodied Mary being remembered by Maria; and she was Maria the woman looking back on her life. In the book she was searching, though maybe unconsciously, for her own identity amongst those around her. Mary was looking to see what she would become, disembodied Mary was trying to see who she was, and Maria seeks who she is. She had to struggle through her immaturity, her romantic notions her memories of the past to allow herself to embrace her heritage. This in itself is the true struggle of chicanas, not trying to identify ones self to others, but to discover truly, what that identity is.
Andrea N. Jaramillo
Shoudt
English 102.033
11 March 2004
We Gather Here Today...
Some people in congress are trying to take away the rights of Americans. You must excuse the writer, she is being melodramatic in that sentence, they are not trying to take them away, they simply so not want to give these Americans the rights they deserve at all. They are purposefully discriminating against this group of Americans. Many members of congress, state governors and President Bush have plans to make gay and lesbian marriages illegal. This should upset every American who cares about their rights. If they can take this right from these Americans who is to say that they will not take the most prized rights from all Americans? What if they decide to do away with freedom of speech? What will this country do then? Actually that is a bit carried away. Besides it is not like congress is discriminating against Hispanic-Americans or African-Americans or any other hyphenated Americans if you prefer. No,no the issue is gays and lesbians here, making it illegal for them to make choices about their own lives. Why shouldn’t congress, the president and unnamed “Governators” refuse them the right to marry whom they choose? It will only make these Americans feel uncomfortable if they are allowed rights like the rest of the country. Congress has them categorized and restricted as it is, why change now? All Americans both homo and heterosexual should feel totally inflamed by the fact that our government is purposefully ignoring the inalienable rights of homosexual couples and by the discrimination against this group. It is reminiscent of the segregation that lasted until the mid 1900's. It is not only wrong, it is downright unconstitutional.
There are three major arguments against gay marriage, that it is sacrilegious, that it is harmful to children, and that it makes people uncomfortable. San Fransisco mayor Gavin Newsom addressed this last issue with a new twist. He tried making it commonplace and allowed city hall to give out marriage licences to same sex couples, 6,000 in the first week they were offered. A Time article gave a hint to the sentiment that followed.
Newsom’s decision has set off a nation wide chain reaction that is putting public
officials on the spot... President Bush declared himself “troubled” hinting that San Francisco’s actions make him more likely to support a constitutional amendment
banning gay marriage (Taylor 1).
To this Newsome reacted with a quote that makes one think about the subject “Put a human face on it... Give me a story give me lives” (Taylor 1). When one thinks about the fact that these people whose lives may change by the decisions made by congress and those above, are in fact human, it forces them to look at themselves and realize there is nothing to be uncomfortable about. These people were all created with the same ingredients, they live in the same country they have the same emotions. They are all human. There is nothing to be troubled over. The California measure changing the definition of marriage to mean a union between a man and a woman is discriminatory and is therefore unconstitutional. Any amendment to the United States constitution that does the same will also be discriminatory and will be as Newsom said “separate but unequal” (Taylor 3). One should be ‘troubled’ by a government that would purposefully choose to discriminate against a group of people. One should be uncomfortable with a congress that would take a proposal for such an amendment seriously. Mayor Newsom said it well “I don’t agree with separate but unequal” (Taylor 3).
The second most common reason people are opposed to gay marriage is also the strongest argument one could possibly choose against anything it may pose a risk to children. There is not any evidence at this time that would suggest that there is any truth to this argument. But it is a compelling argument as an article in USA today put it; “they say that letting gays marry will hurt children by weakening the institution of marriage” (Broken 1). The argument is flawed in and of itself. Gay and lesbian couples cannot marry now in many states so there is no idea of the “institution of marriage” to children raised in these families. As the article also states “even the most ardent opponents of gay marriage concede their claims that gay unions will hurt children are based on supposition and anecdotal evidence” (Broken 1). There is no real evidence to support this theory. “Yet by focusing their efforts of gay marriage, amendment sponsors divert attention from the broken homes that create challenges for the young” (Broken 1) there have been studies by both the Institute for American Values and the Center for Law and Social Policy that show that children from broken homes are more likely to drop out of high school, commit crimes leading to prison before age 30 and are more likely to divorce . There is no evidence supporting any of the above as a result of being raised by a homosexual couple. In short there is more evidence pointing to the breakup of heterosexual marriages harming children than there is proof that homosexual marriages add trouble to the lives of children. “Amendment backers owe the nation proof that the drastic constitutional stem they favor would truly make life better for children.” (Broken 2)
The final and most common argument against gay and lesbian marriages is that they are sacrilegious. Unfortunately for those who think that this is cause for an amendment, homosexuals are protected from this by the separation of church and state. Gay and lesbian couples usually do not go to a church to be wed, but if they were as Brent Hawkes, pastor of the Toronto Metropolitan Community Church said in his interview with Christianity Today “Religious freedom rights already protect clergy from legal challenges if they refuse to wed same sex couples on biblical grounds” (Lowes 2). Church members needn’t be worried that legalizing homosexual marriages everywhere is going to hinder their religious experience, the church is not required to honor these marriages. In Canada they seem to have found a balance between homosexual marriage and religious experience six of their eighty Anglican parishes are authorized to wed same sex couples. Also they have changed the common law definition of marriage from “a man and a woman to two persons” (Lowes 1). No one is forcing any church to believe in a “two person” union, but even if they were the beliefs of any church cannot, in compliance with the constitution, be used as grounds to change a law.
None of the three major arguments that are commonly made against gay and lesbian marriages are valid. Congress and many Americans are spending much time and energy to see to it that gay and lesbian couples cannot make the choice in who they marry. Two people who love each other above all else cannot marry without a maelstrom of controversy, yet a gay man can marry a straight woman for her money and no one can do anything about it despite the fact that he obviously does not love her, and many people would not even blink an eye. Why can’t congress allow two people who love each other to marry with the same amount of fuss (none)? Why doesn’t congress give gays and lesbians the respect that all human beings deserve and allow them to make life choices for themselves, to do as they choose? Besides, what exactly is it about two people who love each other more than life itself uniting their souls in the union of marriage that makes people so squeamish? Who is the president to prevent these people from getting married? Americans should start taking a stand for the rights of these people before the government starts telling its countrymen and women that interracial marriages and the like are not allowed. Americans need to stop standing there and letting the government tell them what they can do.
Andrea Jaramillo
Intro To Chicana Studies
Take Home Mid Term
Due October 12, 2004
Chicana Poetry
Chicana poetry is a difficult subject to analyze to the satisfaction of every one because Chicana Poetry is written not with one single solitary purpose but many. It is up to the reader to determine what that purpose is, and many readers may see the poems in many different ways. It may be that a poem was written by a scorned lover, maybe by a woman reminiscing an old lover, perhaps by someone with so much passion that she couldn’t help but shout out “Viva la Raza!” on paper. One poem could be all of these. In this essay I will analyze two poems by Bernice Zamora that deal with the issues of self identity and the identity of chicanas as a whole, “So Not to Be Mottled” and “Progenitor” In both of these poems the author uses her own voice, her own self to describe the Chicana Identity.
Bernice Zamora’s “So Not To Be Mottled” is a very short but very poignant poem “You insult me/ When you say I’m/ Schizophrenic./ My divisions are/ infinite.” What she is saying in this poem is that she cannot be classified by two things. She is not just Mexican or American, she is not just a girl or a woman. No person really is that two dimensional. This is her way of saying it. She puts an emphasis on the word “my” showing us that this is really about herself, however, any one who reads and analyzes this poem will see that this complexity lies within all women. No one woman is simply a mother or a daughter for instance, just because one becomes a mother themselves does not mean that they stop being a daughter to their own mother. Women are capable of being many things at once, especially Chicana women, they have to walk the tightrope between being considered agringada to their Chicana friends or too Chicana to their Anglo friends. The Chicana learns to ‘divide’ herself as a tool for survival. The chicana learns to be both Ave and Eva, a mix of that which is good and that which is socially considered bad. These are the divisions Zamora is talking about, in this poem and continues in the next selection. These divisions are infinite in that they are always changing to best suit a situation, but it is not just a defense mechanism on the part of the Chicana, she does not intentionally divide herself. Its is an integral part of every Chicana. It is simply her nature.
The second poem I selected, “Progenitor”, is also about divisions in a Chicana although these are more fully illustrated for the reader. She is a pedophile of a father, a mourning mother, an incestuous cousin, and a whore, but she is also the abuelos and the children, the past and the future and this poem is her way of looking for a change. The father in the poem is a drunk who sleeps with his daughter and her friends, he is a soul broken by violence in society but also a representation of that violence in himself. The mother is mourning the loss of her son who killed himself, we are left to wonder if she was a bad mother if she was never there, if she was over bearing and he sought escape, or maybe if she fell into the Chicana stereotype where a son can do no wrong and just turned a blind eye when he needed help. There are two ways to interpret the cousin, he could either have manipulated the young girl into loving him, coerced her into marriage, or the little girl could be the one from before, that was preyed on by her father and saw her older primo as a way out of that life. There are many ways to interpret the stanza with the whore, she could be just a girl mourning a boy, the same one that the mother mourns, who is not really a whore but has allowed herself to believe what society has told her. She could be a literal whore, mourning the loss of a young man who touched her life, who saw something in her when no one else did. She could also be a whore who was looking for a way out in a man but all he gave her was flowers and now she is returning them in defiance, saying “I don’t need you I’ll find my own way.” The children and the Abuelos are the past and the future and they are both asking for a change, they are the only ones who seem to have hope that change is possible, be it through spiritual resurrections, Jesus coming down again to save them, or through emotional resurrections on behalf of the people, them saving themselves. Zamora took it upon herself in this poem to cross the lines. she is talking about things that society has deemed taboo, but she is not just talking about them she is bringing them upon herself. She crosses gender lines she is both the man and the woman in this poem. She again defeats the AVE/EVA theory, she is the mother and the whore, the bastard father and the savior cousin. She proves in this poem that her divisions really are infinite. She has six differing voices and still manages to be herself.
These poems were selected from the anthology Infinite Divisions: An Anthology of Chicana Literature. The title of this book is appropriate, Chicana literature itself has its million different intricacies that make the meanings so diverse, and the chicana herself as I have just explained is divided. Everything in life is divided one way or another and admitting that one has infinite divisions is not a flaw as society seems to believe, the connotation of schizophrenic being one of fear, but a gift that woman should embrace.
5/31/2005
(I never sent this and things are much better, don’t know why I’m posting it but I read it and its still fresh in my mind)
Daddy
You made me cry today . . . you weren’t even here and you made me cry. Not that I think you’ll care at this point. But I thought you should know. The last time I wrote you a letter like this I was a very sad little girl, now im a very upset young woman. I hate you. It hurts me so much to say that but I know that deep down it’s true. The sad part is I don’t miss the part of you that those words will hurt, I hate the part of you that is too far gone to care. I miss my daddy and Im tired of only ever seeing the bad part of my father. I want my daddy. You told me when I was very young I should never use the word hate unless I really meant it, you made me look it up and write the definition and write it like, a thousand times. I did I still remember the fucking definition: an extreme feeling of animosity or dislike; hatred. Its impounded in my head it’s a deep, personal feeling and one I wish I didn’t have toward the man I used to look up to. I miss my daddy. Im twenty years old and my father is still alive and well. I shouldn’t have to miss my daddy but I do. I keep having this recurring dream where im at your funeral and I am no sadder than I am now because I have already lost my daddy . . . I don’t know where he went but I hate the man you have become these past few years. You’re such a hypocrite. You used to talk about family all the time and how we needed to stick together because were all we can be sure we’ll always have. What happened? I WANT MY DADDY BACK. I HAVE BEEN NUMB FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS TRYING NOT TO BE MAD AT YOU TRYING TO REASON WITH MYSELF, TELLING MYSELF THAT I HAD NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY, THAT IT’S A PROBLEM WITH MYSELF. WELL IT’S NOT! I MISS MY DADDY!
I am accomplishing things in my life that I didn’t think were possible and you don’t even seem to care. Im going to college. I am on the track to become a doctor. And my daddy’s not there. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. WHERE ARE YOU? Im sitting here sobbing like a fucking idiot and I can’t figure out why. I miss my daddy. We used to talk. I used to think you were one of my best friends and now I don’t even know you anymore. I love you. That’s why it hurts me so much to hate you. This whole emotional break started because I read a letter you wrote to some kids. It was so full of the love and compassion I have been missing from you that I couldn’t deal with it. The letter was to Kevin and Amber and Statcia. You talk about how great and loving and beautiful and wonderful these kids are and they’re not yours. Im yours you’re my daddy Damn it. That letter is almost fucking poetry and it’s these kids you don’t even know . . . I need to hear those things too, I need a pat on my back and some encouragement. Instead when I ask you to sign a paper for something that means the world to me you’re not willing to go through the effort. You were willing to go through all this trouble for a little girl that’s not yours looking all over town for a perfect doll. Writing how wonderful she is and you can’t even do the simplest thing for me, can’t come to see me when that’s the only excuse I can muster to see my daddy. School means so much to me. It is my dream to become educated and make something of myself. I wanted you to be part of that dream . . . but I guess my feeble attempt at seeing you so I could brag about how wonderful I am was wasted. I used to want to do it to make you proud. I don’t know why I do it anymore. I’ve become my own cheerleader but I have no one to cheer to.
Your alienation of this family is only part of the reason that I am so angry at you im also upset because of what it has done to me, to everyone else. I love you so much and I miss you but I have to say this im going insane please forgive me . . . I hate your computer. I hate the people you meet on the computer I hate the cyber sex, I hate the women. The last time I was over and you actually came to the dinner table you left because you got a phone call. You said it was Jeff . . . that he had to tell you a joke. You lied. I heard a woman’s voice. You had the fucking earpiece turned up so loud I heard her. Who is she? Is she the reason why you ignore your wife of twenty-five years? Is she the reason you have alienated her so much that she has become only a shell of the woman she can be? I used to be so happy that my parents were the only ones I knew that were still together . . . now I think it’s a joke, you’re held together by a piece of paper. You don’t care anymore. WELL, LET ME LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET. MY MOM LOVES YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. You take that for granted . . . its one of the saddest things I have ever seen. I have seen the look on her face when you get phone calls or are on the computer for hours on end. Or decide to eat in front of that fucking machine. It kills me to see that look. It’s like your stab her in the heart every time . . . I think she knows it’s not Jeff as well . . . she just loves you too damn much to say anything. There was a while back . . . when that Vicki woman moved here that I was sure you were having another affair. I still don’t know why but until you deny it to my face im going to believe that. I’ve never met the woman . . . I don’t know why I would believe that . . . I just want you to look me in the eye and tell me it’s not true. I hate to have to ask that of you but I am. I need to know that I can still have some faith in you.
I have your fathers day present. I was gonna give it to you on fathers day . . . but you didn’t see it necessary to show up . . . so I told mom I was broke. It’s a fishing rod by the way . . . and a coupon good for a fishing trip for two. I’ve been waiting to hear about something nice you did for my mom or my nana or to see you myself and catch a glimpse of my daddy, the man you used to be to give it to you since father’s day was just one more obligation you weren’t feeling up to. I’m gonna take it back. I’ll give you a gift certificate or a check. It was just wishful thinking on my behalf anyway.
I don’t care that you don’t have a job. I don’t care that you’re depressed. Hell I wouldn’t even care that much that you were on the computer all the time except that it feels like we are no longer a family. I find myself distancing myself from the rest of the family because I don’t want to feel the absence that is created by you not being there . . . and let’s face it even when you are there you’re not there. I know these words will hurt and I wish I was a big enough person not to have to say them . . . but I can’t keep bottling up these feelings im making myself sick. And I need to care about me even if im not sure if you still do.
I love you daddy, I always will no matter what you do to me . . . I can only hope that you will make it easier for me to love you, rather than to feel this animosity.
Andrea Jaramillo
Introduction to Chicana Studies
Due September 28, 2004
... And They Can Take Them Too
“Real Women Have Curves” starring America Ferrera, Lupe Ontiveros, George Lopez. Directed by Patricia Cardoso, director of photography Jim Denault. Screen play by George Lavoo and Josefina Lopez, based on a play by Josefina Lopez. Edited by Sloane Klevin. C. 2003 Home Box Office Entertainment.
“Real Women Have Curves” is the story of 18-year-old Ana, played by America Ferrera. Ana finds herself stuck in a life that is not her own. The movie is about her struggle to make the decisions that will make her a woman. Her demanding (and slightly psychotic) mother, played by Lupe Ontiveros, wants her to stay home get married and make dresses for perfect women in her sister’s factory for the rest of her life. She tries convincing Ana that she is fat and ugly so she will not seek a better life, yet she wants her to lose weight and find a husband so she can have grand children. Ana has other plans. Pushed by a caring teacher, played by George Lopez, she applies and is accepted to Columbia University. Ana sees the opportunity to make a change in her life but is unsure because she does not have her mothers blessing, and has been programmed by said mother to think that she is worthless for anything other than so called “womanly things.”
I enjoyed this film, it is beautifully filmed, Jim Denault did a wonderful job, making each frame feel as if it could be a still photograph. He managed to make a statement even with the lighting. In the dress factory where her sister worked the lighting was almost dingy, the lighting around the market and on the way to Ana’s house showed the dirt. The light itself gave you a sense of being trapped. Antithetically when the lighting was shown on Anas school, which was in a primarily white side of town, the lighting was bright cheerful, the same with the gardens that her father tended and the office of her sister’s contractor. All of these anglicized places were shown in a bright light, making everything seem just about racist, and making the Chicano people in these scenes seem out of place. It almost felt like the light itself was giving a social commentary.
Patricia Cardoso also did a great job in directing this film, but while the character development of Ana was especially poignant, the rest of the family got left behind. Ana truly blooms in this film changing from a shy girl with unchanneled rage to a young woman with a purpose. When the film begins Ana is yelling at her family because her mother wants her to stay home on her last day of school and she feels trapped. When she does go to school everyone is talking about their plans for the future and Ana makes some up because she has none. College is considered a “family affair” by her mother and she will have none of it. She is oppressing her own daughter’s dreams and potential because hers were at one point, she even goes as far as to say that she has been working since she was thirteen, it is a matter of priority that Ana does to, that it is only fair. Ana overcomes her mothers oppression and flourishes with a little help from her Anglo boyfriend that her mother wouldn’t approve of and the caring teacher that she thinks is a busybody.
I liked this film because it was truthful, life was portrayed as it really is for a young chicana. Ana had to deal with her mother’s expectations for her as a woman; she wanted her to be an object for her husband and only saw her as a body, ignoring completely the brilliant mind she had in her head. Ana had to deal with cultural issues as well. Her mother would not have approved of her Anglo boyfriend as I said before but that was not blatantly said, it was implied in the film by the way she had to sneak around with him. Had Ana gone out with a young Hispanic/Chicano/Latino guy her mother would have pressed for a quick engagement and marriage. Ana also had to deal with her mother finding out that she lost her virginity and calling her a whore. Her own mother thought she changed so much because she gave into human urges. This movie also does not leave you with the illusion of a happy ending for everyone, Ana’s sister is in the same position at the end of the film that she was in the beginning, making dresses for eighteen dollars that would be sold for 600. She was basically working slave labor and wouldn’t allow herself to dream of much more.
I also enjoyed this film because in spite of all of the gritty truth it gave me hope. As Ana’s character developed I saw more and more of myself being revealed. I, being a chicana and therefore from a chicana family, have had some of the same experiences as her and it made me realize that I am not the only one with a family who seems to value good looks and worn out principles to intelligence and happiness. Ana struggled to make something of herself before she even knew she would be admitted to Columbia. Ana walked ten blocks and then took two buses to get to her high school every day. She was struggling to make something of herself. Her mother was holding on to the worn out values that she should be home that education was not important. Education is important in this day and age. Ana did not want to live her life slaving away for nothing, a beast of burden for those with more than her. In the end we see Ana standing on her own in New York, she still does not have her mother’s blessings but she has finally allowed her self to receive her own. She realized not only do real women have curves but that they can take any that life decides to send their way.
Andrea Jaramillo
9/15/04
Composition #1
Que Horrible !
Bonjour, je m’appelle Andrea, et je suis malade. Je n’ai pas une tousse o un nez que coule.
J’ai une maladie très originale. J’ai une personne dans moi ventre. On commence ce matin. Je me lève à sept heurs comment d’habitude, mais j’ai mal au ventre. Je me regarde moi ventre et me rends compte de j’ai une main dans moi poitrine. Qu’horrible ! Mais, on ne cesse pas ici. C’est suit de une autre main, et deux bras, une tête, un cou, deux épaules, une poitrine, un ventre et un partent d’une jambe. Par la suite on sort un genou et un pied, mais es tout ! J’ai un part de une personne dans moi ventre. Est trop inconfortable.
Je veux j’ai une maladie d’habitude, une fièvre, une grippe, un rhume. Au lieu de cela c’est cette personne dans moi. Je n’aime pas cette personne. Ne m’attendent pas ! Elle a seulement une jambe, mais elle ne m’attend pas. Et s’habille dans moi vêtement. Je veux son pied il part bientôt. Mais ce n’est pas la plus mauvais parte, la plus mauvais parte c’est elle a renverse mon thé ce matin. Comment grossier !
Andrea Jaramillo
English 101.008
Leslie Fox
7 December 2003
Stem Cell Research: Responsibility vs. Ability
Imagine a world without diseases. A world where people with Parkinson’s disease have complete control over their bodies, Alzheimer’s patients can remember how to tie their shoes, people with nerve disorders are non existent. Now imagine a world where everyone is the same. Each child on the playground is a perfect copy of their parents free from any defect that may make them ‘different,’ parents need not worry about their child’s well-being because they have the blue prints on hand to make another for ‘spare parts’. Both of these scenarios are becoming very real possibilities; only the first seems like something worth hoping for. Genetic engineering and stem cell research have both made vast developments over the past five years, so much more is possible now than anyone could have ever imagined. Stem cell research is providing answers to the quest for cures; it is making the future of medicine look a little brighter. Society needs to unravel the perfect balance of this mix of genetic engineering technology and the enormous responsibility that comes with the abilities they are discovering.
Genetic engineering is the manipulation of chromosomes to either eliminate the propensity toward a certain defect, or to choose attributes of a child i.e. the parents can choose whether they want a boy or a girl, brown eyes or blue. Stem cell research is the growth of cells to replace damaged or defective cells i.e. creating new bone marrow to eliminate the chance of rejection in a leukemia patient. It is necessary to use embryos because they can copy any kind of cell for stem cell research and because genetic engineering creates a new child. The controversy behind both genetic engineering and stem cell research is that both of them start with a human embryo as explained by journal of medical ethics author Michael Spriggs:
First of all the eggs have to be donated and retrieved from young women (though most come from in vitro fertilization patients). Then the scientist has to remove the chromosomes (DNA) from the eggs by carefully piercing the outer membrane and by applying suction to remove the cytoplasm. A skin cell (other cell to be reproduced, or DNA from the host) is drawn into a needle and inserted into the egg and a pulse of electricity is used with the hope of fusing the egg (“Cloning”, p1).
Donor eggs often come from the eggs left over after a successful in vitro fertilization (IVF), which brings up the question of parentage of the clone, is it the donor mothers, or the DNA host’s child, fortunately the technology has not progressed far enough to ask that question; there is enough trouble keeping the IVF parentage straight.
There have been many cases of IVF mix-ups, not just in the United States but also in Britain and the Netherlands. These mix-ups are only obvious when the resultant child is of mixed race as has happened numerous times, one such incident is recorded by Spriggs:
In the US in 1998, a white woman gave birth to one white baby and one black baby in what has become known as the “scrambled eggs” case after a bitter custody battle the black couple whose embryo was mistakenly implanted in to the white woman won custody over the black baby (Spriggs, “IVF” p1).
Couples hoping to have children of their own turn to IVF as a solution, but there is no guarantee that the child produces will be their own. Parent-hopefuls and scientists dedicate thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours to creating a family and there is no guarantee that the child will even be one hundred percent theirs, many pay around two thousand dollars for genetic testing to assure them the child is theirs; the “mistakes” are gotten rid of by “emergency procedures to have the embryos removed”(Spriggs “IVF” p1). The technology today cannot keep mishaps like this from happening in a procedure done since the mid 1980’s, how is it be expected that the technology can be trusted to create the child that was dreamed up by the parents without more physically and emotionally costly mistakes? It cannot. Today’s society is not ready for the responsibility of genetic engineering not until they can track every step of every case they create. The technology, but not the wisdom exists to play God, society is not responsible enough to create a new race of children.
Stem cell research is easier to keep track of than genetic engineering. There is no person created as a result of making the stem cells, only cells, and cells are much easier to be determined as being what the scientist expected or not. Nevertheless, human stem cell research is currently banned in the United States thanks to a four-year moratorium placed by the Presidents Council of Bioethics on July 11 2002(Spriggs, “Cloning” 2). Currently there is a bill in the senate that not only bans stem cell research but also drugs and treatments developed by these techniques. Most Americans are against human cloning and see stem cell research as unethical. However, according to Congressman Jim Moran”
Embryonic stem cells are derived from frozen embryos left over by couples who have been seeking a pregnancy; embryos aren’t being created for the sake of being destroyed. Indeed after a couple has succeeded in establishing a pregnancy, the left over embryos are normally discarded ( p1).
People in opposition to stem cell research see it as related to abortion, “it is their right to hold that view but it is a religious belief that shouldn’t be allowed to impede scientific development” (Moran pgph5). These embryos were not going to be made into children at all, at least through research they are used to help cure something rather than having been created in vain.
While one can only hope for a world free of genetic defects, society needs to pull back and ask ourselves if we are ready to create “perfect children”. Britain is considering genetic engineering as a means of population control, this could be useful in our overcrowded society, but perhaps we should look toward the resources that are readily available, and less drastic. The world needs to ponder many things before diving blindly into genetic engineering. Genetic engineering can potentially eliminate genetic disorders, but at what cost? Will conceived children have fewer successes than those who will be created because they may have ‘defects’? Will society look down upon these children ruefully because they are not genetically perfect? Society today still has issues about sexual preference and race. They are not ready to throw another discriminating factor into the mix. They are not ready for the incredible accountability that comes with the ability to engineer a perfect person. One should look toward stem cell research as a means of curing rather than eradicating disease for the time being.
The moratorium on stem cell research needs to lift. There are more benefits to curing Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and leukemia than there are costs. people who are opposed to this research are trying to conserve the right to life of the embryos, a noble quest, however they are denying the right to life of the people suffering from debilitating diseases. While scientists can continue their research using mice, they cannot use the research because of potentially deadly diseases found in the mouse cells. The FDA will not allow them to test these created cells on humans because it could be more devastating than the disease they are trying to cure. The living and the future generations of people who this research can help need consideration when looking at this debate. One should choose a chance for a cell to make a difference over the death of that cell. The research needs to continue so that scientists can find the cures this research has to offer. The world needs to look at the possibilities rather than the short-term consequences for both of these situations. The possibility of the world rejecting genetically altered children is very real; many societies are not open to differences. The possibility of fixing any number of disorders, diseases and other various epidemics is very real, we can help those who have suffered for years. The technology is there. The world needs to decide the most responsible way to utilize it.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
hi
Hoobastank
the reason
I'm not a perfect person
as many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
it's something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that's why I need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
so i was supposed to go to the Korn family values tour yesterday but i gave my ticket to mario... i should have just gone after work. this was written yesterday and there was something else i wanted to say but i have forgotten i'm sure i will remember and then forget later.
(I just re read this and its all kind of depressing I should probably either try to make it seem more upbeat or take some of this shit out of it but then that would totally defeat the purpose of opening up.)
So a few people have noticed that I have been amiss on my blog. One noticed that I hadn’t written on any of them. I didn’t realize any one still read these things. So…
I don’t feel like writing.
I don’t feel like doing much of anything but I keep pushing myself because I know if I don’t I will just slip into a depression and be in that for a few months until I finally haul my ass into the Dr’s and have him put me on some anti depressants that I will take for about two months before I realize that I hate the things and chuck them down the toilet effectively wasting both my time and my money which have both become precious commodities lately, and then crashing as the drugs work their way out of my system making me feel worse than I did to begin with… or maybe about just as bad as I do now which is still no good. So I will skip the whole scenario that I have played out too many times before and just make myself do the things I don’t want to do. Like getting up in the morning, and going to work, and eating, and taking care of my self and putting on a happy face and telling everyone I’m fine. I really am fine though… I’m still lost and scared and confused but I’m fine in the fact that I know its not the end of the world… just the end of the world as I know it… and that’s ok. I feel like shit but I will keep on looking great and pretending I feel great until I make myself believe it.
Speaking of not being ok…. Fucking Malinda!
I was in the office (I’m always in the office lately) and Malinda and I were talking about something or other about having to travel across town, and I mentioned that I was living at my mom’s house and she said “0h my god are you ok sweetie?” and I said yes because I didn’t even really mean to bring it up…. And she was like “ok don’t lie to me drea, you can bullshit a lot of people but remember I’ve been in your shoes… I don’t even know why I asked that. You’re not but you will be” And that was the end of that… with one sentence I realized that she knew EXACTLY how I felt. And it made me a little uncomfortable, I think I’ve been doing ok with my façade but…
So I have started balancing my check book and I bought an organizer, and I have even used it two days straight. and I did laundry before I ran out of clean underwear and I have been doing all these other “adult” things and I feel like I am going out of my head. I kind of liked the way I did things before, I didn’t need clothes before I needed underwear because I have significantly less underwear than I do outfits. I always knew about how much money I had in my account. I always realized I had something to do before it was too late… and I was amazingly organized with Touree’s things… mostly because I accomplish everything before I let myself rest for the day. But I figure I will play the game and do things right and be a little more mature and a little less stressed.
I was talking to someone about how he didn’t understand how a young person could get to a point in their lives where they would be so desperate that they would take their life… I don’t know… I’ve been trying to figure it out the past couple of days and I cant… I’ve seen it a few times, hell a few years ago I even felt it myself… but the question remains… why…? I’m trying to remember what was going through my head at that point in my life I had watched my aunt OD I had heard horror stories about her children, I had seen a friend try to commit suicide right in front of my face, I had just lost my favorite uncle after watching him waste away… I had just lost my best friend to cancer, I had just lost my great grandma and I had just lost a mentor… all within a few months… this kind of shit happens to other people though, but they have the strength of character to live right on through it. Yeah these experiences were all traumatic but I don’t think I should have been as fucked up as I was… I was really fucked up there for a while. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and stopped feeling any thing and then I just started hurting myself to feel… and the funny part is I was in so much pain and so numb at the same time, but I was hiding what I was doing cause I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. I am one twisted individual…. But that is a memory lane I don’t feel like traveling tonight.
I’m still doing it. I’m hurting inside and I am trying to hide it all away. Any one who knows me at all has to know I’m doing awful… but I am a lot stronger now than I was when I was fifteen and I have a lot less shit going on in my life. My biggest concerns now are fire marshals and divorce, not death and depression. I have no desire to harm myself in any way I just don’t feel like doing anything… so this I don’t think is depression I think I’m just feeling lonely. I go to bed at night and I wake up next to a pillow… a pillow can keep you warm but it cant hold you back… it cant snuggle with you…cant fuck you… oh well this too shall pass right? I will reach a point where I don’t even need the pillow, I can just sleep perfectly alone instead of surrounding myself so I feel like there’s someone there.
Speaking about crazy…
I was looking for an organizer right, a day planner whatever you want to call it, I’m sure there’s a difference but I really don’t know what it is nor do I care. So any way I was looking and there is all this random stuff there are bill organizers and coupon organizers and index card organizers and all this other random shit and I was making the comment to Rikki about how there are obsessive compulsive anal retentive people out there that buy this shit and it turns out she’s one of them. So I started thinking and I realized that there are quite a few people I know that are like that… so maybe I’m the freak, because I don’t have everything on my computer or my palm pilot or alarms on my phone or… or… or… I have all this shit, I just don’t ever take the time to use it. I think the ditzy lost drea is part of my charm, however… I am trying my best to look a little smarter and a little less ditzy… I kind of see the point for everything except the index card organizer, why would anyone keep something that was just supposed to help them remember things for like five minutes…. These are probably the same people who write more than two drafts of a paper… I think I better shut up before I stick my foot in it again.
Its only nine thirty but I think I’m gonna head on to bed… I’m exhausted I’ve had some pretty heavy shit on my brain all day… I think its time to turn off my phone and give my poor head a rest… any one who is even thinking of calling I’m sorry I’m inaccessible… for once… get used to it.
Monday, August 07, 2006
promised i wouldnt post this pic... oops i forgot haha sorry justine this day was just too fun
this is aaron at kats b-day party i've been meaning to post this for forever this is what happens when you are the only man among several drunk females with makeup and time on thier hands
hmmm wish i could stick my head in the sand.
doesnt she look like she's about to eat someone alive?
this is aaron at kats b-day party i've been meaning to post this for forever this is what happens when you are the only man among several drunk females with makeup and time on thier hands
hmmm wish i could stick my head in the sand.
doesnt she look like she's about to eat someone alive?
craziness
Horoscope for: Monday, August 07, 2006 Yesterday TODAY Tomorrow
Drea,Your planet Pluto is playing out personal dramas in the sky. The energies are complicated and there isn't an easy way to navigate through the complexities. One inner voice tells you to hold your breath and remain motionless until the stress passes. The other voice tells you to run like the wind. Neither of these is good advice. You are better off listening to the music and dancing to it the best you can.
sounds about right this weekend has been crazy mario killed my cat. not on purpose mind you but still its very sad he fell asleep on top of it. wouldnt you notice that you were sleeping on a kitten. poor baby was only four weeks old and had survived the out break of distemper that took his brother and his mother running away before he was weaned. but he died cause someone's a heavy sleeper. i've decided i'm not supposed to have pets. if i do have a pet again it will be a snake cause that stays in a cage pretty much all the time and they are pretty hearty animals.
so i moved out into my mom's house, melissa moved into town, and my dad is offering to buy me a bed.
my mom and my nana said something i totally wasn't expecting. they said i was brave. i dont feel brave, i feel scared and unsure and like a little kid and an old lady simultaneously. but i'm set. i want to live on my own. i want my own space, i want my education and i want to know that i earned all of it on my own. i am ready to grow up. go fig. no husband no lover no roomate no sister no mother no one but me. i'm freaking out... but its time.
i kind of missed living at home this morning i woke up thinking i would get to get away with out breakfast but there was a muffin on the counter next to a glass with a note that said fill me with milk and drink. its my moms not so subtle way of saying dont even think of leaving the house without something in your stomach. its kind of nice to be taken care of but i'm pretty much done with that. i'm not a princess i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
Bouncy
This post is kind of random written Friday Saturday and Sunday
I love you
If you need me you know where to find me
You know how to contact me
p.s. put the clothes in the dryer
here I lay back at my mothers house exhausted. Physically emotionally and spiritually. What is it about august that causes me to change things so dramatically? I had said I was gonna leave before but I never got around to it. Today, I was freaking out about not having enough boxes to pack all of my shit, it fit in two boxes and a hamper i left before he even got home and he didnt know until he bothered to call me at around midnight to tell me he wasn't home (uh duh!). he knew i was leaving cause i told him but i think he thought it was just a bluff.
i have no bed, no dresser, nowhere to store my shoes. when i moved out of this place it got turned into an office so i lay here typing away between two computers an ugly but comfortable chair, dusty excercise equipment and boxes. how comfy.
Alanis
8 easy steps
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to refer to men as solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you’re fine and don’t need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you’re serving all of them some
I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
The course of a life time you’ll never forget
I’ll show you how to in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best
How to hate women when you’re supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you’re really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you’re a prayer and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by thinking of how to subsist
How to lie to yourself, and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you’re thinking of killing yourself
I’ve been doing research for years
I’ve been practicing my ass off
I’ve been training my whole life for this moment, I swear to you
Culminating just to be this flawless leader before you
I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps.
Everything
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like its going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you’ve ever met
I am the kindest soul with who you’ve connected
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As positive as I am sometimes
You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything
To which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
I blame everyone else not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I’m terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met any one as,
As closed down as I am sometimes
But I resist persist and speak
Louder than I know
But I resist you love
No matter how low or high I go
I’m the funniest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the dullest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As everything as I am sometimes
You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything
To which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
Drea,Your planet Pluto is playing out personal dramas in the sky. The energies are complicated and there isn't an easy way to navigate through the complexities. One inner voice tells you to hold your breath and remain motionless until the stress passes. The other voice tells you to run like the wind. Neither of these is good advice. You are better off listening to the music and dancing to it the best you can.
sounds about right this weekend has been crazy mario killed my cat. not on purpose mind you but still its very sad he fell asleep on top of it. wouldnt you notice that you were sleeping on a kitten. poor baby was only four weeks old and had survived the out break of distemper that took his brother and his mother running away before he was weaned. but he died cause someone's a heavy sleeper. i've decided i'm not supposed to have pets. if i do have a pet again it will be a snake cause that stays in a cage pretty much all the time and they are pretty hearty animals.
so i moved out into my mom's house, melissa moved into town, and my dad is offering to buy me a bed.
my mom and my nana said something i totally wasn't expecting. they said i was brave. i dont feel brave, i feel scared and unsure and like a little kid and an old lady simultaneously. but i'm set. i want to live on my own. i want my own space, i want my education and i want to know that i earned all of it on my own. i am ready to grow up. go fig. no husband no lover no roomate no sister no mother no one but me. i'm freaking out... but its time.
i kind of missed living at home this morning i woke up thinking i would get to get away with out breakfast but there was a muffin on the counter next to a glass with a note that said fill me with milk and drink. its my moms not so subtle way of saying dont even think of leaving the house without something in your stomach. its kind of nice to be taken care of but i'm pretty much done with that. i'm not a princess i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
Bouncy
This post is kind of random written Friday Saturday and Sunday
I love you
If you need me you know where to find me
You know how to contact me
p.s. put the clothes in the dryer
here I lay back at my mothers house exhausted. Physically emotionally and spiritually. What is it about august that causes me to change things so dramatically? I had said I was gonna leave before but I never got around to it. Today, I was freaking out about not having enough boxes to pack all of my shit, it fit in two boxes and a hamper i left before he even got home and he didnt know until he bothered to call me at around midnight to tell me he wasn't home (uh duh!). he knew i was leaving cause i told him but i think he thought it was just a bluff.
i have no bed, no dresser, nowhere to store my shoes. when i moved out of this place it got turned into an office so i lay here typing away between two computers an ugly but comfortable chair, dusty excercise equipment and boxes. how comfy.
Alanis
8 easy steps
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to refer to men as solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you’re fine and don’t need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you’re serving all of them some
I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps
The course of a life time you’ll never forget
I’ll show you how to in eight easy steps
I’ll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best
How to hate women when you’re supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you’re really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you’re a prayer and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by thinking of how to subsist
How to lie to yourself, and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you’re thinking of killing yourself
I’ve been doing research for years
I’ve been practicing my ass off
I’ve been training my whole life for this moment, I swear to you
Culminating just to be this flawless leader before you
I’ll teach you all this in eight easy steps.
Everything
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like its going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you’ve ever met
I am the kindest soul with who you’ve connected
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As positive as I am sometimes
You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything
To which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
I blame everyone else not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I’m terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met any one as,
As closed down as I am sometimes
But I resist persist and speak
Louder than I know
But I resist you love
No matter how low or high I go
I’m the funniest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the dullest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As everything as I am sometimes
You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything
To which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Horoscope for: Tuesday, August 01, 2006 Yesterday TODAY Tomorrow
Drea,Even if you are sometimes quite secretive about your feelings, you might be inclined now to reveal more than you intend. It is easier to talk about your emotions if you also discuss philosophies and teachings that are important to you. If your disclosure helps you clarify your perspective, you can easily open up in order to make your point. Don't panic; showing vulnerability can foster closer relationships.
ha yeah right. funny because i have been having this discussion lately about how i dont open up. and it bothers everyone. maybe i should just open up and tell everyone everything.
ha! yeah right.
Drea,Even if you are sometimes quite secretive about your feelings, you might be inclined now to reveal more than you intend. It is easier to talk about your emotions if you also discuss philosophies and teachings that are important to you. If your disclosure helps you clarify your perspective, you can easily open up in order to make your point. Don't panic; showing vulnerability can foster closer relationships.
ha yeah right. funny because i have been having this discussion lately about how i dont open up. and it bothers everyone. maybe i should just open up and tell everyone everything.
ha! yeah right.
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