aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

so i got written up today for wearing a skirt and flip flops to work today. ok so i'm not in uniform, whatever, my bad... here's the kicker, as my boss was writing me up she was wearing (get this!) a skirt and sandals.

i am currently seeking another job. i have had it to here and beyond with the YMCA. why you ask? (ok so you didnt ask... but i'm gonna tell you any way) i make $9.00/hour to deal with 45 kiddos. most people in my position at other places make at least $15.00 but i love the kiddos and i think the YMCA is great for those who need something to keep them from getting in trouble. so i stay. my direct boss does not do his job and when he does he asks me for my advice when if i wanted to be dishing it out i would have taken the position, but he's new and learning the ropes... so i stay. my other boss is never in the office and is usually more concerned with her personal life than what she is supposed to be accomplishing, she makes much more than me on salary and i know for a fact that she has gone out and done her hair and nails and taken her daughter to a photo shoot on company time, but most of the time she keeps the ship running smoothly. so i stay. the office staff is incompetent and it is beginning to reflect badly upon me, i have not had an updated payment roster in about six weeks so when parents ask me how much they owe, i look like an idiot because i have no clue, i cannot keep 65 accounts current in my head, and the last roster they gave me is indecipherable from all the scribbiling and notations i have made trying to do thier job. but they were busy with summer camp. so i stay. i have too many kids to run with just myself and one staff. but touree keeps saying he'll send help in the afternoons so i can be under 50 hours a week. the calvary never comes. but i stay. so if i put up with all this bullshit what is it that has thrown me over the edge? i was shorted 16 hours of overtime, i already posted about that, the reason given to me was that the big boss (carlos, who is my only boss that i like)wouldn't approve the overtime that i was going to have to get it backpaid in chunks. i talked to him this weekend, turns out my boss was just trying to cover her ass for not getting me staff, and me having to work all those hours. so i will get it all plus all the overtime from this week next check. i have vacation coming up and it just seems to be getting further and further away. rikki is going to quit on me, any day now i just know it, she got offered a job elsewhere and is offering me one too.... ill have to think about it. i actually thought about hurting a kid. that kid that drove me insane, the one two posts down in "bloody murder". i have never felt that way about a child. i have never wanted to physically injure a child. the fact that i would even think about it scares me half to death. i am sick of doing everyone elses job for them, i am sick of not knowing whether or not i will have a lunch break or be able to attend the billions of useless meetings that are reqired of me. i am sick of being tired all the damn time. i am sick of going home and thinking about which children are going to get beat, when i have no proof, i have nothing other than a gut feeling. i am sick of kids peeing thier pants. i am sick of hearing miss andrea can i go to the bathroom every three seconds, i am sick of hearing miss andrea every second from the hours of 7-6 monday- friday. i am sick of my bloodpressure rising the second i step into my classroom, i am sick of the principal treating us like we are vermin. i am sick of parents treating me like i'm there to be used. i am sick of parents not taking care of thier kids, i am sick of these stupid YMCA tee shirts. i am sick of making excuses for these people just so i dont go ballistic and tell them to do thier damned jobs. i am sick of them expecting so much and giving us so little. i am sick of having the "redheaded stepchild site" (their words not mine). i know that there are possible reasons for all of this, but i dont want to think of any of them. i am good and mad and determined and i should move along while i have this fire built up.

my only fear is i have no legally marketable skills. i have been a manager a photographer a sales clerk and a childcare worker for the last 6 years i haven't finished school ahhh no need to stress about that now, i have gotten every job i have applied for and am usually promoted within six months... i have to be doing something right, i shouldnt worry about incomptence.