If you're going through hell
Keep on going,
Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
This is bound to offend someone:
10 TRUTHS BLACKS AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. Elvis is dead
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller.
8. NSYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal
10. TRUTHS WHITE AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:
1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor does not know everything.
6. Red is not a Kool-Aid Flavor, its a color.
7. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.
10 TRUTHS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WONT ADMIT:
1. Hickeys are not attractive.
2. Chicken is a food not a roomate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. Jump out and run is not an insurance policy.
7. 10 people in to a car IS, in fact, too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
cats and dogs
So this afternoon has been a strange one. I left work early to hang out with my mom before she left helping her get things done and stuff. I also had some things to do for my job hunt so I wound up spending like 40 minutes doing my hair 20 straightening it and 20 trying to get it to do anything. But finally I looked fabulous. Went and did my thing went to my moms house and somehow we wound up in peralta visiting my nana. Everyone thinks my nana is insane. She had a beautiful five bedroom two story house which she sold to move out into the middle of a nowhere in a mobile home that was built in like the seventies. I used to think she was crazy too, but today as I was sitting there listening to the rain starting to come down, I realized why she did it. She is in the middle of no where, her biggest problem with her house is the neighbors dog coming into her yard or having to drive 10 miles for a gallon of milk (or gas or….) and my nana has enough problems to deal with, my cousin Dawn whom she was raising is now pregnant. The girl is fifteen years old. Her brother is also about to become a father, and then there are a whole bunch of other fucked up things going on in her life, most of them involving probation officers and lawyers, my nana does not deserve all of this stress, she is a good woman and raised her children right, she should not be having these problems with the second batch. But she does… that’s for another day.
It is raining and I don’t feel like getting depressed. I spent so much time on my hair today and it’s raining so hard that in the walk from the house to the car I look like a poodle again. And then from the car to my moms house I got completely soaked through. I love it. I can imagine being held by the one I love and opening up the doors and watching it pour down. I’m sitting here waiting for it to calm down so that I can safely drive home, it’s pouring cats and dogs… I can’t remember it raining like this since I was about ten years old. I am so happy right now I could bust.
It is raining and I don’t feel like getting depressed. I spent so much time on my hair today and it’s raining so hard that in the walk from the house to the car I look like a poodle again. And then from the car to my moms house I got completely soaked through. I love it. I can imagine being held by the one I love and opening up the doors and watching it pour down. I’m sitting here waiting for it to calm down so that I can safely drive home, it’s pouring cats and dogs… I can’t remember it raining like this since I was about ten years old. I am so happy right now I could bust.
Monday, June 26, 2006
As American as...
So yesterday was a pretty fabulous day considering I didn’t really do anything special. I went over to my mom’s house pretty early and we had lunch, then we went shopping for a bit to the fruit market, to the water store, to Wal-Mart, and somewhere else that I can’t remember right at this moment. (my memory is shot today, perhaps lack of sleep, or maybe lack of alcohol, couldn’t be too much cause I haven’t had any since last week) anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah so I went out with my mom and then we came back and watched the notebook. I thought I had seen the movie before everyone kept telling me I would love this movie and I was like y’all are insane ’cause I thought that it sucked. I don’t know what movie I was thinking of but it definitely wasn’t this one. I fell in love with it. A woman’s plight between propriety and love. Does she stay with stability or take a chance on amour. My heart went out to this movie and I found myself crying through most of the second half. A woman loved so much by two men, being torn in two by an earth shattering decision. I felt her pain do you do what’s right for everyone else or what’s right for you? And then there was the story of the older couple, my god that is devotion. I hope to be loved like that in my lifetime that nothing, not even me forgetting my love, can shake his faith in me. I cried to the point of sobbing with this movie, perhaps its cause I was a little on edge this weekend, waiting for something that never came and wondering why it hadn’t; perhaps its because I saw myself in her fabulous shoes but that movie definitely ranks up there with my favorites now. So… what else did I do? I had some awesome watermelon, I can’t remember the last time I had watermelon like this, it was sweet and red and so juicy it dripped down my chin with every bite, I felt like I was six again. Sitting there in my momma’s kitchen wearing pigtails covered in watermelon juice. And then I got to be Betty Crocker, my mom had a sweet tooth and a shitload of apples, so I got to bake apple pies. Why when this woman gets a sweet tooth I end up baking I may never know, she even told me that she’s gonna have me make some biscotti when she gets back. Not asked me to make some, told me I would.
My mother will be out of town for the next … I dunno lot of days. She gets back on the ninth. It is my responsibility to go and check on my brother and my father and make sure that 1. They have not starved to death, 2. That they have not trashed the house and, 3. That they at least pretended to be responsible and feed the damn dogs. I have no problem with checking on the dogs and the house, but the Leos are far from incompetent, I do not want to have to cook two dinners a night, and it is about time that they grow up considering one is 45 and the other is almost 23, (24? How old am I again?) also I think she should have put a more reliable person in charge of these two cause lets face it I’m not the brightest crayon in the box. But she is my momma and she asked me to do it so I will. Just like I do everything else she asks me, just like she does for my grandma, and just like she did for hers. Damn it sucks being the youngest daughter in this family; remind me not to treat my daughter like a servant when I have one. Ok so I don’t actually feel like a servant I know I have the right to say no to anything, but I don’t because she’s my mother, and sometimes it seems like I’m the only one who is willing and able to help her out, she does so much for everyone, and has done so much for me, that baking a couple pies and cooking a few dinners for the worlds most ungrateful, picky people is not that big of a deal.
My mother will be out of town for the next … I dunno lot of days. She gets back on the ninth. It is my responsibility to go and check on my brother and my father and make sure that 1. They have not starved to death, 2. That they have not trashed the house and, 3. That they at least pretended to be responsible and feed the damn dogs. I have no problem with checking on the dogs and the house, but the Leos are far from incompetent, I do not want to have to cook two dinners a night, and it is about time that they grow up considering one is 45 and the other is almost 23, (24? How old am I again?) also I think she should have put a more reliable person in charge of these two cause lets face it I’m not the brightest crayon in the box. But she is my momma and she asked me to do it so I will. Just like I do everything else she asks me, just like she does for my grandma, and just like she did for hers. Damn it sucks being the youngest daughter in this family; remind me not to treat my daughter like a servant when I have one. Ok so I don’t actually feel like a servant I know I have the right to say no to anything, but I don’t because she’s my mother, and sometimes it seems like I’m the only one who is willing and able to help her out, she does so much for everyone, and has done so much for me, that baking a couple pies and cooking a few dinners for the worlds most ungrateful, picky people is not that big of a deal.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
bunch of bloody whack jobs!
I have about 12 kids with ADD about 6 with ADHD (those are the ones diagnosed) and one with PTSD one with ODD two that are mentally challenged, two that are deaf and one that’s just a total whack job. That’s almost half of my kids that need special attention… some of these about five or so need one on one care. So what does this mean? It means I’m exhausted. I hadn’t noticed that I had these many kids with issues I was going through the files to draw up some termination papers and counted out of curiosity. This doesn’t include the ones that are pathological liars, the ones that act like they aren’t potty trained to get attention, and the ones that are just plain needy. Doesn’t include the ones with abandonment issues, the ones with anger management issues, and the one kid that’s afraid of wind (no lie)
I now realize why I am always so fucking tired. This is ridiculous.
I’m thinking that I shouldn’t have counted…. The knowledge makes the task seem that much more arduous, and it was seemingly insurmountable before.
I can’t remember the last time I did something creative. I don’t think I can anymore. It feels like all the passion has been sapped out of my life.
I don’t know if I’m just desperately in need of a vacation or if I really need to find another job.
Should I get glasses or contacts? I’m beginning to think I have pretty eyes but I am so used to seeing myself with glasses I’ve had them since first or second grade… I have to call and set up an eye appointment and see if my astigmatism will even allow me to do contacts… I’ve been thinking about lasik, but one it’s expensive and two what if they fuck up?
What would I do if I won the lottery? This thought came upon me when I was in the shower… I don’t know what I would do, I think I would travel. I would leave everything behind and go explore beaches. I need to get to a beach I keep going to lakes and rivers and such but its not the same I haven’t seen the ocean since I was about four years old (unless you count Texas and I don’t count Texas just like I don’t count Juarez as part of Mexico) and the only thing I really remember was almost getting washed away when the tide came in and getting bitten by a crab. Kind of like the only thing I remember about Disneyland is getting lost and getting sick on the teacups. California is close, about an eight to ten hour drive, maybe Rikki and I can drive down there when we’re on vacation.
I’m not very good at giving up on things, even when I know it’s the best thing for me, I keep trooping on so I can make the most people around me happy without concern for myself. I need to learn to cut strings when its best for me, I don’t want to turn into some coldhearted bitch, but I need to learn to do things for myself and not everyone around me, I think I could be a helluva lot happier if I could just do things for me. Maybe one day I will get there. I don’t wanna be like Cinderella waiting in some dark cold dusty cellar waiting on somebody to come and rescue me I’m sick of waiting for prince charming to come up on his white horse, I’m gonna have to rescue myself, I shouldn’t be so dependant on a man anyway, real or not.
I think I’ve finally gone over the edge. Oh well at least I get a night with the girlies tonight.
Ok so something strange just happened. I was just told that I could bank it as a bartender because I’m so bubbly. I tend to think I’m jaded and meanand bossy and anything but bubbly, but I was talking about how I was considering bartending as an alternate job (haha go from taking care of children to taking care of drunks) and Rikki said hey you’d be good at that cause your soo bubbly and cute and a big flirt… I’m still trying to figure out if she was being sarcastic, it didn’t seem like it but i just dont see myself that way at all.
I now realize why I am always so fucking tired. This is ridiculous.
I’m thinking that I shouldn’t have counted…. The knowledge makes the task seem that much more arduous, and it was seemingly insurmountable before.
I can’t remember the last time I did something creative. I don’t think I can anymore. It feels like all the passion has been sapped out of my life.
I don’t know if I’m just desperately in need of a vacation or if I really need to find another job.
Should I get glasses or contacts? I’m beginning to think I have pretty eyes but I am so used to seeing myself with glasses I’ve had them since first or second grade… I have to call and set up an eye appointment and see if my astigmatism will even allow me to do contacts… I’ve been thinking about lasik, but one it’s expensive and two what if they fuck up?
What would I do if I won the lottery? This thought came upon me when I was in the shower… I don’t know what I would do, I think I would travel. I would leave everything behind and go explore beaches. I need to get to a beach I keep going to lakes and rivers and such but its not the same I haven’t seen the ocean since I was about four years old (unless you count Texas and I don’t count Texas just like I don’t count Juarez as part of Mexico) and the only thing I really remember was almost getting washed away when the tide came in and getting bitten by a crab. Kind of like the only thing I remember about Disneyland is getting lost and getting sick on the teacups. California is close, about an eight to ten hour drive, maybe Rikki and I can drive down there when we’re on vacation.
I’m not very good at giving up on things, even when I know it’s the best thing for me, I keep trooping on so I can make the most people around me happy without concern for myself. I need to learn to cut strings when its best for me, I don’t want to turn into some coldhearted bitch, but I need to learn to do things for myself and not everyone around me, I think I could be a helluva lot happier if I could just do things for me. Maybe one day I will get there. I don’t wanna be like Cinderella waiting in some dark cold dusty cellar waiting on somebody to come and rescue me I’m sick of waiting for prince charming to come up on his white horse, I’m gonna have to rescue myself, I shouldn’t be so dependant on a man anyway, real or not.
I think I’ve finally gone over the edge. Oh well at least I get a night with the girlies tonight.
Ok so something strange just happened. I was just told that I could bank it as a bartender because I’m so bubbly. I tend to think I’m jaded and meanand bossy and anything but bubbly, but I was talking about how I was considering bartending as an alternate job (haha go from taking care of children to taking care of drunks) and Rikki said hey you’d be good at that cause your soo bubbly and cute and a big flirt… I’m still trying to figure out if she was being sarcastic, it didn’t seem like it but i just dont see myself that way at all.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
maggie needs an alibi
so i just posted about a million things that piss me off about work....i figured i should balance out by posing the good things about this week
1. its raining and its warm enough to play outside in (i will be leaving shortly to go dance in it)
2. i got awsome cobalt blue bedsheets
3. i am going out four nights this week.
4. someone told me i'm the pretty sister. (and i had no make up on quite an accomplishment)
5. i cant think of a number five but i'm in a good mood so there must be at least five
1. its raining and its warm enough to play outside in (i will be leaving shortly to go dance in it)
2. i got awsome cobalt blue bedsheets
3. i am going out four nights this week.
4. someone told me i'm the pretty sister. (and i had no make up on quite an accomplishment)
5. i cant think of a number five but i'm in a good mood so there must be at least five
aaaarrrrgggghhhh!
so i got written up today for wearing a skirt and flip flops to work today. ok so i'm not in uniform, whatever, my bad... here's the kicker, as my boss was writing me up she was wearing (get this!) a skirt and sandals.
i am currently seeking another job. i have had it to here and beyond with the YMCA. why you ask? (ok so you didnt ask... but i'm gonna tell you any way) i make $9.00/hour to deal with 45 kiddos. most people in my position at other places make at least $15.00 but i love the kiddos and i think the YMCA is great for those who need something to keep them from getting in trouble. so i stay. my direct boss does not do his job and when he does he asks me for my advice when if i wanted to be dishing it out i would have taken the position, but he's new and learning the ropes... so i stay. my other boss is never in the office and is usually more concerned with her personal life than what she is supposed to be accomplishing, she makes much more than me on salary and i know for a fact that she has gone out and done her hair and nails and taken her daughter to a photo shoot on company time, but most of the time she keeps the ship running smoothly. so i stay. the office staff is incompetent and it is beginning to reflect badly upon me, i have not had an updated payment roster in about six weeks so when parents ask me how much they owe, i look like an idiot because i have no clue, i cannot keep 65 accounts current in my head, and the last roster they gave me is indecipherable from all the scribbiling and notations i have made trying to do thier job. but they were busy with summer camp. so i stay. i have too many kids to run with just myself and one staff. but touree keeps saying he'll send help in the afternoons so i can be under 50 hours a week. the calvary never comes. but i stay. so if i put up with all this bullshit what is it that has thrown me over the edge? i was shorted 16 hours of overtime, i already posted about that, the reason given to me was that the big boss (carlos, who is my only boss that i like)wouldn't approve the overtime that i was going to have to get it backpaid in chunks. i talked to him this weekend, turns out my boss was just trying to cover her ass for not getting me staff, and me having to work all those hours. so i will get it all plus all the overtime from this week next check. i have vacation coming up and it just seems to be getting further and further away. rikki is going to quit on me, any day now i just know it, she got offered a job elsewhere and is offering me one too.... ill have to think about it. i actually thought about hurting a kid. that kid that drove me insane, the one two posts down in "bloody murder". i have never felt that way about a child. i have never wanted to physically injure a child. the fact that i would even think about it scares me half to death. i am sick of doing everyone elses job for them, i am sick of not knowing whether or not i will have a lunch break or be able to attend the billions of useless meetings that are reqired of me. i am sick of being tired all the damn time. i am sick of going home and thinking about which children are going to get beat, when i have no proof, i have nothing other than a gut feeling. i am sick of kids peeing thier pants. i am sick of hearing miss andrea can i go to the bathroom every three seconds, i am sick of hearing miss andrea every second from the hours of 7-6 monday- friday. i am sick of my bloodpressure rising the second i step into my classroom, i am sick of the principal treating us like we are vermin. i am sick of parents treating me like i'm there to be used. i am sick of parents not taking care of thier kids, i am sick of these stupid YMCA tee shirts. i am sick of making excuses for these people just so i dont go ballistic and tell them to do thier damned jobs. i am sick of them expecting so much and giving us so little. i am sick of having the "redheaded stepchild site" (their words not mine). i know that there are possible reasons for all of this, but i dont want to think of any of them. i am good and mad and determined and i should move along while i have this fire built up.
my only fear is i have no legally marketable skills. i have been a manager a photographer a sales clerk and a childcare worker for the last 6 years i haven't finished school ahhh no need to stress about that now, i have gotten every job i have applied for and am usually promoted within six months... i have to be doing something right, i shouldnt worry about incomptence.
i am currently seeking another job. i have had it to here and beyond with the YMCA. why you ask? (ok so you didnt ask... but i'm gonna tell you any way) i make $9.00/hour to deal with 45 kiddos. most people in my position at other places make at least $15.00 but i love the kiddos and i think the YMCA is great for those who need something to keep them from getting in trouble. so i stay. my direct boss does not do his job and when he does he asks me for my advice when if i wanted to be dishing it out i would have taken the position, but he's new and learning the ropes... so i stay. my other boss is never in the office and is usually more concerned with her personal life than what she is supposed to be accomplishing, she makes much more than me on salary and i know for a fact that she has gone out and done her hair and nails and taken her daughter to a photo shoot on company time, but most of the time she keeps the ship running smoothly. so i stay. the office staff is incompetent and it is beginning to reflect badly upon me, i have not had an updated payment roster in about six weeks so when parents ask me how much they owe, i look like an idiot because i have no clue, i cannot keep 65 accounts current in my head, and the last roster they gave me is indecipherable from all the scribbiling and notations i have made trying to do thier job. but they were busy with summer camp. so i stay. i have too many kids to run with just myself and one staff. but touree keeps saying he'll send help in the afternoons so i can be under 50 hours a week. the calvary never comes. but i stay. so if i put up with all this bullshit what is it that has thrown me over the edge? i was shorted 16 hours of overtime, i already posted about that, the reason given to me was that the big boss (carlos, who is my only boss that i like)wouldn't approve the overtime that i was going to have to get it backpaid in chunks. i talked to him this weekend, turns out my boss was just trying to cover her ass for not getting me staff, and me having to work all those hours. so i will get it all plus all the overtime from this week next check. i have vacation coming up and it just seems to be getting further and further away. rikki is going to quit on me, any day now i just know it, she got offered a job elsewhere and is offering me one too.... ill have to think about it. i actually thought about hurting a kid. that kid that drove me insane, the one two posts down in "bloody murder". i have never felt that way about a child. i have never wanted to physically injure a child. the fact that i would even think about it scares me half to death. i am sick of doing everyone elses job for them, i am sick of not knowing whether or not i will have a lunch break or be able to attend the billions of useless meetings that are reqired of me. i am sick of being tired all the damn time. i am sick of going home and thinking about which children are going to get beat, when i have no proof, i have nothing other than a gut feeling. i am sick of kids peeing thier pants. i am sick of hearing miss andrea can i go to the bathroom every three seconds, i am sick of hearing miss andrea every second from the hours of 7-6 monday- friday. i am sick of my bloodpressure rising the second i step into my classroom, i am sick of the principal treating us like we are vermin. i am sick of parents treating me like i'm there to be used. i am sick of parents not taking care of thier kids, i am sick of these stupid YMCA tee shirts. i am sick of making excuses for these people just so i dont go ballistic and tell them to do thier damned jobs. i am sick of them expecting so much and giving us so little. i am sick of having the "redheaded stepchild site" (their words not mine). i know that there are possible reasons for all of this, but i dont want to think of any of them. i am good and mad and determined and i should move along while i have this fire built up.
my only fear is i have no legally marketable skills. i have been a manager a photographer a sales clerk and a childcare worker for the last 6 years i haven't finished school ahhh no need to stress about that now, i have gotten every job i have applied for and am usually promoted within six months... i have to be doing something right, i shouldnt worry about incomptence.
Random Rants and Complaints
Here I sit trying to lick vanilla ice cream out of a cup.
Its kind of a metaphor for my life right now. I don’t have a spoon, they ran out of bowls, there were never any cones, and I can’t quite reach the sweet stuff I know is there.
I am sick of my job. To be completely honest I am not sick of my job just all the bullshit and bureaucracy that comes along with the job.
I am tired of people pissing me off just because they think its cute when I get angry. I am not cute when I’m angry and I am not there for their amusement. Supes, Mr. Frodo, V, eric, butthead and everyone else who’s ever thought of doing this to me. Please stop before I kill you.
The entire right side of my body hurts.
My computer wont connect to the internet. By the time you read this obviously it will have been fixed, but for right now… all its managing to do is piss me off.
Batman is no longer my fantasy love of my life. He has been replaced by V. I went to go see V for Vendetta this weekend. I’ve never read the comics, I was going to but the art was too bad to get over, so I haven’t read them (bad comic book geek? I know so sue me.) ok so why is batman no longer the fantasy love of my life? Because V is so much better. He lives in a castle, he’s a rebel, he’s political, his bedroom is walled with books, he quotes poetry and Shakespeare and philosophy at random. He makes eggs in a basket for breakfast. He collects fine art that has been banned, he has billie holiday on his jukebox, he dances divinely. He’s mysterious. I’m in love. (ok well fantasy comic book hero love, but love)
oh yeah i almost forgot, he also likes blowing thigs up and is an excellent conductor, and has a romantic streak. :)
Its kind of a metaphor for my life right now. I don’t have a spoon, they ran out of bowls, there were never any cones, and I can’t quite reach the sweet stuff I know is there.
I am sick of my job. To be completely honest I am not sick of my job just all the bullshit and bureaucracy that comes along with the job.
I am tired of people pissing me off just because they think its cute when I get angry. I am not cute when I’m angry and I am not there for their amusement. Supes, Mr. Frodo, V, eric, butthead and everyone else who’s ever thought of doing this to me. Please stop before I kill you.
The entire right side of my body hurts.
My computer wont connect to the internet. By the time you read this obviously it will have been fixed, but for right now… all its managing to do is piss me off.
Batman is no longer my fantasy love of my life. He has been replaced by V. I went to go see V for Vendetta this weekend. I’ve never read the comics, I was going to but the art was too bad to get over, so I haven’t read them (bad comic book geek? I know so sue me.) ok so why is batman no longer the fantasy love of my life? Because V is so much better. He lives in a castle, he’s a rebel, he’s political, his bedroom is walled with books, he quotes poetry and Shakespeare and philosophy at random. He makes eggs in a basket for breakfast. He collects fine art that has been banned, he has billie holiday on his jukebox, he dances divinely. He’s mysterious. I’m in love. (ok well fantasy comic book hero love, but love)
oh yeah i almost forgot, he also likes blowing thigs up and is an excellent conductor, and has a romantic streak. :)
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Bloody Murder
"Another Place To Fall"
KT Tunstall
Are you blind
Blind to me trying to be kind
Volunteering for your firing line
Waiting for one precious sign
The flicker of a smile
You should try it just once in a while
Maybe it's not quite your style
It's simply too easy to do
And you might not see it through
Are you proud
To have founded a brand new behavior
With hatred and hurt as your savior
But nobody's choosing to follow
So you choke back the tears and you swallow
Men who have ruined your life
You consume them with minimum strife
But now you have got indigestion
The antacid comes as a question
Find yourself another place to fall
Find yourself up against another brick wall
See yourself as a fallen angel
Well I don't see no holes in the road but you
Find another place to fall
Are you alive
Is there a young woman hiding inside
Does she know that we're trying to help her
Is she totally frozen with fear
If you let her come out for a day
She might even like it and stay
But it's gonna take you to invite her
Cause you seem so determined to spite her
Find yourself
There isn't much more I can say
For I don't understand the delay
You're asking for friendly advice
And remaining in permanent crisis
Affection is yours if you ask
But first you must take off your mask
When you're back's turned I've decided I'll throw it away just like I did
Find yourself
i almost killed a kid today. and no i dont mean that in my normal this kid was being a little shit and i wanted to injure him sort of way. i mean i had to physically pry my hand off the lilttle fucker because i was going to kill him.
let me begin at the beginning.
this morning i woke up. (mistake number one) on time even, which for me is almost an accomplishment ;) and i got ready and i went to work. (mistake number two) so i get to work and i'm looking at all the old time sheets and i get to mine from this week and i'm like hmmm.... someone seems to have knocked off 16 hours of overtime. the bastard! so i'm a little upset. (pissed, livid, infuriated, incensed, heated, angry... maybe even a little mad) and my boss is not answering her phone (hmmm... typical) so i take care of that no big deal i have to wait a week or two to get paid but i'm getting the money. ok so my day goes along with nothing bad really happening. i mean getting shorted a whole bunch of overtime is not that bad, cause i'm gonna get it. (and if i dont i'll quit and leave them in a rut with no one to run extreme camp or my site) so the day goes along i go to kindergarten graduation (soo cute!) and lunch and i run out for slushies that took way to long to just be making a slushie. gather my forty kids go to snack and then i have one kid decide he is going to turn into linda blair.
this kid started by kicking one girl head-butting one in the sternum and hitting one in the face. ok this is bad, but not that big of a deal kinda happens all the time when you work with kids. so i pull him to the side to ask him what happened were they teasing you did they hit you... etc... y nada. he didnt say a damned thing. so i'm like ok i decide to call mom to see if she can get him to talk because hes just sitting there ripping up the grass in sort of a malicious way (again bad, but not uncommon) he growled at his mother. he didnt say anything, he just growled. so i'm like ok. strange. we take the kids in and he starts to behave. ok good. then mom calls and this kid flipps out. he kicked a kid started stabbing at things with a pencil throwing things at students, threw a popsicle stick in my face. so we make him go to the quiet area and call his mother to come pick him up because he is detracting our attention from the other kids. ok so he's in the quiet area. he sticks his head under the pillows, please uncover them, no so i take them off then he starts ripping up our little foam alphabet mat and eating it (no lie eating the damned mat) i go to take away a letter and he goes to bite me. this kid is on my fucking last nerve, then he kicks his brother kicks me, starts yelling at me and sticking his finger in a light socket.... i kinda wanted to let him stick his finger in the light socket but thats besides the point. so i ask him to move he says no. i've had it beyond with this kid by now so i pick him up and he tries kicking me and more of the kids. i put him on a chair he stands on it. i fold his legs and sit him on it he starts picking up shit and throwing it at me. i'm holding the damned kid down with one hand and kicking shit away from his reach with my feet and holding the drawers to my desk closed with the other. he tries bolting. i catch him and gently (yeah right) put him back in his chair. i'm holding this kid down and i have to step away because i seriously want to hurt him at this point hes cursing and kicking and throwing stuff at me and im just trying to keep him from hurting himself or the other kids. rikki joins me after putting on a movie and i go to call my boss to tell her that i am not going to deal with this kid, he spits on rikki, repeatedly in the face. she's about to kill the little fucker too so i go back to restraining him. he started laughing and straining to get away. i had a deathgrip on his arm by the time mom got there and i informed her he is no longer welcome. so they leave and rikki goes to wash her face. on the way back she runs into the special ed teacher, who informs her that this is a daily bit, and mom should have warned us. mom said nothing, she said oh by the way he has a touch of ADD. turns out the kids on prozac and celestia(i think its celestia i dont quite remember). my back hurts. my head hurts, my palms hurt from digging my nails into them. but i didn't utter one fucking curse word, niether did rikki, niether of us raised our voices, we followed protocol to a T without even thinking about it. but damn i wanted to kill that kid. i'm still shaking from the pent up adrenalin(epinephrin, whatever). it took two of us to restrain a seven year old. if i could have hurt him i could have done it myself, but we didnt hurt him in the least the lucky little fucker. and the rest of my afternoon was spent in paperwork incident repors termination letters, bodily fluid exposure forms, hepatitis B vaccination forms, and explaining to parents what happened so thier kid didnt go home and say miss rikki and miss andrea were beating on some poor kid. poor rikki has to take a hepatitis B series. he's lucky he didnt spit on me, i couldnt have kept my cool, i'd be fired and in jail right now. i dont get paid nearly enough for this shit.
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