Don't read this

its all utter crap that i need to get out somewhere and seeing as lindsey never picks up her phone i hardly ever get to see zo, my sister is too busy for me and everyone else i know has more problems than me. i will bitch on here.

i dont want to move. i have been thinking about it and thinking about it and it made me shop and bake and not just a little shopping or a little baking but i have bought seven pairs of shoes since i have been contemplating this some of which i will never wear, i know i will never wear but cannot bring myself to take back and i have made brownies chocolate chip cookies and three different kinds of biscotti. (butterscotch mocha and double chocolate) the butterscotch biscotti are the best. and biscotti takes a really friggin long time to make. so pluh. i dont want to go they are offering him an hourly wage that is more than the both of us are making combined right now, and a per diem that is more than i make in a year, which isnt much but you know its something. it makes sense to move. i dont want to leave my education in the dust as it is its been on haiatus for a while, and i've finally gotten it back on track. how does one spell hiatus? see need the friggin education(or you know, a dictionary) and i dont want to leave my kids. just thinking about it made me super sad. i am very attached to my family and dont know how i would deal with not being able to just drive over to see my mother when i get pissed at him or drop in on my brother between classes or make a day out of seeing my nana and laughing till were peeing our pants. i also hate the heat. he wont go without me, which is fine, i am his wife, but i really dont want to go. and i thought he was over working with industrial once he was done with GZ. and then theres the fear that i'm gonna get a call saying that he electrocuted himself or found someother way to kill himself, and i cant deal with that kind of fear. so i think no is the best answer i have thought up many more reasons not to go than i can think of to go. really the only reason to go is for the money and i really dont care about money. (although i could buy LOTS more shoes) but this whole stressing out over it thing is not so good, i am finally starting to lose weight and the baking is not helping i am going to wind up big as a house and not able to fit in the damned shoes.

thats issue #1

issue #2
should i take summer classes? jury's out on that one, i want to but i want to decide on a major first, i think i either want studio art, or english. those two would make me the most happy but would also be the least practical in the real world, ok so maybe not english, but what i would like to do with it is. i dont know. i think i will take that non-fiction writers class, or a poetry class and maybe a painting or drawing class... only those two i dont think i want a full course load this summer. and those would both work toward my intended majors. (i think i should just give up and major in university studies... i dont think i'm ever gonna get my degree) if we went i could paint and write all day and possibly work up the courage to sell myself, not in a whore sort of way, but my work. but i think i would be more comfortable selling myself in a whore sort of way, less personal.

issue #3
planning a wedding.
ok so i'm backwards i'm married and now i'm planning a wedding which is not really my idea but more of my mothers but definitely a necessity if i ever want people to forgive me (ok so i'm doing it for my mother i could give a rats ass if they ever forgive me for doing it my way instead of thiers, if i had gotten married to make them happy or for presents i would have had a wedding the first time) so i need to get a wedding ready in like six months. (looking at calendar) ok seven months. the good news is i get a dress, the bad news is i have to plan everything and do it all over again. and preachers tend to get upset if you crack jokes during your vows, the cheezy little minister got upset and and that was just a little vegas ceremony, 500 people and the church, oy! can i get someone to stand in for me? is that an option? do i have to wear white, i dont do well in white. can i get the pretty silver and blue dress that i designed? or do i have to follow thier rules completely. my nana got married in a yellow dress, cant i get the one i want. do i get a new ring? j/k i actually love my wedding band though everyone else thinks i'm insane, its pretty and its plain just like me, i dont like diamonds and i dont want a bunch of shit inlayed. if i'm living in arizona do i still need to have one or will they forgive me anyway cause i'm gone?

issue#? what number was i on?

friends. i need to be less shy. rikki and i are pretty close and thats rare for me i usually dont allow myself to get close to co-workers but i have become close to her and justine and moved them from aquantiance to friend catagory. lindsey on the otherhand seems to be working backwards. its strange when she first started hanging out with me again it was like it was, now its like she thinks i'm some bug there for her amusement. she doesn't call me unless she needs something, and when we do hang out she's on her phone the whole time or more concerned with her blog. i took her coffee on sunday (monday?) so i could talk to her and work somethings out that were going on in my head and she had this yeah whatever i'm to busy obsessing over dante sort of thing. so. yeah. it hurts. but whatever, if she wants a friend she will be a friend right? i just think it hurt less when she pretended like i didn't exist than me going over and her ignoring me.
rikki invited me to a slumber party. i was confused at first i thought it was a sleep over then i realized that what she meant was a "slumber party" which is like a tupperware party for adult toys. i think i'm gonna go. it should be fun and maybe i'll make more friends. i really need to make more friends i feel like a recluse and i think that moving would just make it that much worse.

next order of business
everyone at the ymca is either pregnant or having ovarian cysts, i dont want either, its not really an issue considering everything down there is working normally and is doing just fine, but its a little scary, justine and i are the only ones that haven't been effected. in the same arena my dad told me that i was going to have an illigitimate child. i dont know where he's getting this idea, but thats what he told me on sunday. and quite frankly its freaking me out a little.

issue#5 (6, 9, whatever)

i am utterly exhausted lately i dont know if its from the stress or what but i keep just crashing out during the day at the worst possible times, and not being able to sleep at night. the insomnia at night is perfectly normal for me but these whole narcoleptic tendencies are freaking me out, its so not like me.

happy news #2
my sister might be moving back. i'll be happy to have her in town but it'll be strange for many many reasons. she's the one who's trying to have an illigitimate child.

i think thats that. i feel better already. if i forgot anything... good. that was the point

utterly exhausted.

so i got home from my class today and fell asleep, there were a million things that i was supposed to be getting done and i fell asleep until 1:30 this afternoon. i was almost late for work, and got nothing accomplished, and to make matters worse when i was talking to rikki about it she asked me if i was pregnant and i just about had a heart attack, (6 at home tests, and a visit from my favorite aunt say no. a little paranoid maybe, but positive i'm not and that makes everything ok) i am still exhausted and i have a fever blister (at least i think its a fever blister i dont know i've never had one, i may have just bitten my lip in my sleep.) i didnt even hear my phone ring when rikki called cause i was supposed to meet her for lunch at noon. i feel like a bad person for sleeping all day i feel worse for having accomplished NOTHING with my day.

i am a wreck lately, i am at that point where i am thinking about changing my major again, wanting to shake everything up and thinking about moving or running away or or or.... something needs to change. i was in tears yesterday because i worked for 12 friggen hours i wasnt at work for those 12 hours but i was working the whole time, shopping preparing curriculums, paperwork. and some dude dropped a cabinet on my foot and tottaly ruined my fresh pedicure (the first pedicure i have had but definitely not the last) my car was leaking oil my air conditioner decided not to work, i cant find my damned car keys. supes got offered a job out in arizona, sunday was a bust cause my whole family it seems is against me (except my nana, who gave me a beautiful new ring and told me i was looking really good lately, between the jewlry and the compliments this may be why she's the favorite, nah its cause shes my nana and shes awesome) i wasnt actually in tears yesterday but i was pretty fucking close, i wound up calling lindsey, (it is sooo nice to be able to call on her again you dont even understand) and using up the last of my minutes, and she told me to start wearing eyeliner everyday. maybe thats why today is such a bust no makeup.

there are a million things on here that are bothering me and a million more that i dare not say anything about, for fear of pissing someone or another off, hurt feelings all that jazz. i am super busy through the rest of the week and completely out of phone minutes and i dont know how that happened for the second month in a row. last month i went waaay over though i had a friggin $400 phone bill. i feel like digging a hole climbing in and covering it up. so not gonna happen i have way to much to get done, but the thought is nice. i cant even think of what i was saying so i am going to post the pics of my haircut that i took last week (or the week before? i dont remember. when i was sick and not feeling very pretty) and call it a day

p.s. i was wrong it doesnt look better straightened, and apparently looks super sexy down after a night of dancing.

p.p.s. i bought some awesome shoes yesterday, they make me happy, they are super sexy and cause they make me 5'9'' which standing between linds and zo means nothing but still.... its the thought that counts


my glasses are crooked in both these pictures and make it look like my face is crooked. kinda sad. i'd use the top one for my profile only i look crosseyed and pale

Tottaly Random

Save a horse ride a cowboy.

ok so i'm usually not a cowboy kind of girl but for these fellas, i think i can make an exception.

so whats new in my life? positivly nothing. ok so not really actually i have had a few things change lindsey and i are talking again. i got a hair cut that makes me look like i should be named FiFi instead of Andrea. ok so its not quite that bad. but i dont like it straight either. (ha story of my life). umm... i was supposed to drive down to see katwoman and didnt and my boss told me that if i ever need her to go all ghetto style on someone she's got my back (her words not mine i was highly shocked and amused, mostly cause i think she would) i got in another fight with yvonne. i have not had nearly enough sleep lately partially cause im so busy and partially cause i spend half the night thinking about shit that i thought was long dead and gone.

tracie yelled at me for wearing blue nailpolish, i think she's in league with my mother she said my hands are too pretty and i should always wear red, pink, or clear, so i changed them for her they are now acid green, she told me i cant work in the office again till i change it i said ok. i dont like being told what to do especially when my mother has already lectured me about it being time to grow up.

ok so more random stuff that i have been getting in my email. (y'all can stop reading now i'm just posting this stuff cause it made me happy/sad/pensive/ whatever the proper emotion was)

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him."I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?""All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he puts in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" God said "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." Please send this to ten beautiful women you know today. If you do, something good will happens - You will boost another woman's self-esteem (hate the chain mail love the sentiment)


Ain't it the Truth!!! A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "115," she says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 140. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," she says. The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5". She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high. "Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"


Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over and said, " Life is so darn boring; We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!" " You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $ 5.00 bill. The first fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. " What happened?" asked her waiting friend. I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement."

This is what a computer should do first thing in the morning
http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.htm

My boss made me do this
Nevermind it wont load. too bad it was hilarious.

ok so i think im done for now.