this is depressing

I can't go anywhere. The entire city is frozen the governor has declared a state of emergency. The mayor has pleaded that everyone stay in. The city has had 12-24 inches and 9000 people have had their power knocked out, and there are people who have been stranded on the interstate for three days.

This is all sad, but you want to know the worst thing? I can't drive my ducking car. Ok so its not the end of the world, but I really would like to get out of this place. But even if I could go somewhere things are closed all over the city so I have nowhere to go.

Ok I'm done being a spoiled American whiney little bitch happy new year, I like most of the city am stuck at home with no champagne or anything festive.

whatever lola wants...

Hmmm I need to change my name to lola so I can get all I want.

I got a beautimus car. She's so pretty her name is Bonnie Blue Butler (yes from gone with the wind) she is my ion2 quad Coupe that I fell in love with last year. She's a little more expensive than I hoped for, but she's also a little more loaded than I hoped for, and ill be refinancing here soonish anyway.

I haven't gotten to drive her much cause its been snowing like mad, they say they expect up to ten inches. So I can't open the sun roof or play with the power windows (you don't know how happy I am to not have to fight with that crank) but hopefully it will be warmer tomorrow.

Ok I just wanted to post that I'm happy. I'm kinds tired and I think ill go to sleep now.

my knight in big green truck.

so i would like to say thank you to eric, my sisters man for picking me up for work since i was too dizzy to drive and for fixing my car, and thanks to a banking error on my part, paying for the parts to fix said piece of crap car that has begun breaking down every other week. ( and its never on the weeks i get paid) im fixing it only because im giving it to my mother otherwise i would have it go to the scrapyard.

i am going to buy a new car, well possibly a used car, but it will be a certified used car if it is used, im looking for something with a warranty. the way i see it, if Lorenzo can qualify to buy a brand new Ion, i can at least get a Kia. My Sammy will become my mothers because she needs a car more than i need a down payment.

my insurance contract is up on december 28th so that works out nicely i will just drop both of those cars from the policy and add my new one. time to start shopping.

hmmm

i would like something sporty, something cute... but at this point... ill take a pinto with a new engine. grrr its times like this that i hate the fact that i really know nothing about cars... i guess i oughta get off my hiney and do some research seeing as i have decided friday (or maybe saturday depending on if i can get off early) is D-day and i will get it then. i wish i could afford my mini but noooo....

i figure i need something safe, i need to spend about 200 a month, and maybe 150 on insurance... in order to still be able to comfortably afford an apartment... about 300 and 200 in order to be able to afford one at all and i can go higher than that if i resign myself to living at home. speaking of resigning myself to living at home...

my mother flipped out earlier, because i told her i was going to be purchasing a car this weekend. i told her i was giving her mine and she started freaking out even more, i was hoping to move out in february, but she was saying that she is going to need me at home to help out for a while... lovely. well this works out ok i guess... sunny side up... i will simply help her out, and put the rest of what would be rent to the side this will be my furniture fund, my tax refund will go in the same savings, and when i move out i will be set, and if i do this diligently not only will i have furniture, but i will be able to pay my rent a couple months in advance... meanwhile im buying a bed... if im gonna be there for a while i am getting a bed, that cot has got to go.

new years resolutions, ok maybe not new years seeing as im gonna start on these today december 26th is the same deal. so december 26th is my new year.

1. start eating right... even if that means avoiding mom's dinner like the plague (as im finishing my breakfast of chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon chocolate covered pecans)
2. excercise in the mornings... i felt much better when i would go running in the morning, im sure i can figure something out here
3. maintain financial stablitity (even if it means not buying new shoes each week)
4. maintain savings (meaning no more bailing people out, besides mom)
5. finalize divorce as soon as finances allow
6. finish cleaning up credit which will include obtaining and being responsible for a damn credit card grrrr....
7. complete at least two semesters of school
8. become more community oriented and socialize more
9. find at least one thing to be genuinely happy about daily
10. learn to forgive myself more, and others less.

that last one is to say... drea, you are not a doormat. you do not need to feel bad for taking your life back. it is your life, you are the one who needs to live it. you step on a few toes or make a couple people look like you just kicked a puppy on the way. so be it. i cannot control the world. i can only change my part of it. i am responsible for my part of this life and no one elses... but if i can help and so desire i will. it is in my power and slightly to my benefit to help my mother, so i will. i can no longer be responsible for his skewed views of importance, so i wont.

sick as a dog

Hooked on cable addicted to the jaccuzi and the blinds open upside down too much cough syrup? Its possible.

tough life.

Drea would you mind house sitting for one of your aunties?

Yeah sure no problem which one?

Aunty geri.

What the hell did she mean mind? here I lay snuggled up in a king size bed nestled between Egyptian cotton sheets and a down comforter. surrounded by poignant yet tasteful artwork, with my own bathroom and she wanted to know if if mind? I'm in the friggin guest bedroom for heavensake!

I'm living the tough life. I'm in a neighborhood where I could leave my car unlocked with the keys in the ignition and no one would touch it (not that I would out of ingrown paranoia.) ok side note, my god these sheets feel nice. What was I saying? Oh yeah tough life. Yada yada. I'm wondering what I did to deserve this harsh treatment. She is leaving me with a full fridge and a gas/takeout stipend for the week that would allow me to runaround town all day and order takeout for a month. Geez.

Oh yeah and I'm ten whole minutes away from work assuming there's traffic.

All this and I gotta watch her three adorable puppies. Tough life I tell ya.

i feel awful

Here I am awake because about half an hour ago I couldn't bear the heat any longer, and the little tickle in my throat turned into a full fledged fire in my lungs. I thought maybe it was allergies and I just needed to get some zinc and vitamin c in my system so naturally I drink orange juice. Made it worse at least now I know it is allergies. So I popped a singular, hoping thatll clear my chest and my sinuses and just feeling miserable and unable to sleep any longer. But I will cause I'm exhausted and its only been three hours of sleep.

i feel awful

argument for live Christmas trees.

The fun of going into the crisp outdoors to find the perfect tree. The beauty of real branches upenung up to cradle long time favorite ornaments. The subtle scent of evergreen that says the holidays are here.

For generations real Christmas trees have stood at the center of our most chrished holiday traditions, but did you know that by choosing a real tree you can do something beautiful for the forest?

Christmas trees are grown on managed forestlands which are usually family owned. In managed forests a balance is carefully maintained between our need for wood and paper and the needs of the environment to remain healthy and abundant. That's why for every tree harvested in a managed forest, up to three more are planted each spring. And the millions of new trees help to keep the air and water clean and provide habitat for all sorts of wildlife and prevent soil erosion.

Also there are plenty of ways to recycle a tree when the holidays are over from reusing the wood to donating it for processing to be used in playgrounds.

So I plea. Buy a real tree and put something pretty under it for me.

bah fucking humbug!

I hate Christmas. Don't get me wrong I love Jesus and I'm glad that he was born and died for us and all that jazz... But let's face it who really thinks about that while they are throwing elbows for the last black cashmere sweater at Macys? I wish we could get rid of all the hooha.

I'm sitting here alone and scared in the dark cause my car died. Either my radiator cracked or there's a hole in one of my lines but I'm alone and acerd and have no clue where I am I know I'm south of Montano and north of Menaul on san Pedro but the place where I died has no fucking sign on the street.

I'm gonna finish this later I'm gonna call someone to talk to me till me bro gets here cause I'm really freaking out.

bah fucking humbug!