oh great, another complex.

I am Not a twenty-two year-old.

ok so at least im not the average twenty-two year-old, i just talk like one.

i've decided im turning 46 this year, that is 23 years with two birthdays per year for a total of 46 years.

i've been watching tv and lately everytime they show a young woman she is pegged as 22. And she is young and pretty and obsessed with sex and has bad posture and cant cook and is generally ditzy, even last night on NCIS there was a 22year old, only this one was a little more realistic, but she was still inarticulate over emotional and couldnt make a decent cup of coffee.

maybe my obsession with this is that i've seen myself as mature for so long that when i see these people portrayed this way its almost like i myself am backsliding into the stereotype.

should this worry me? no. will it? possibly.

so maggie asked me a question the other day, she said "fifteen years from now if you found out i died would you go to my funeral?" and i said i dont know. this started a little game in my head, if this person died would i go to thier funeral.

magster: i honestly dont know, how would i know i dont think im going to know her in fifteen years, this point last year i would have said yes, but we've moved from personal friends to business friends, and thats not conducive to a funeral in fifteen years kinda relationship.

rikki: without a doubt

family: of course

dana: same boat as maggie

him: yeah probably

THM: i dont think his family would appreciate it much

Binky poo: yeah, you know probably. i dont think we'll be talking in fifteen years. but im finally how shall we say, comfortable with the way things were left, not in animosity but in a general life sends you down different paths sort of way.

katwoman: yes

green bean: you know, its sad, but probably not.

the boys: no

hmmm i think im going to get out of a lot of funerals.

chris T: yes

any other chris: no

AP: you know probably because i have a soft spot for that woman

YB: no

pl: just to make sure he's dead

and i cant think of anyone else right now that i can say that yes in fifteen years if i heard you died i would most definitely go to your funeral.

i think the life style we lead has become too fleeting.