my knee hurts

i fucked it up i dont know how, but its seriously not ok.

its been hurting kind of off and on for the last few weeks, not sharp pain, i cant stand sharp pain so we all know i'd be in the er right now telling the dr. "drugs i need drugs" but this dull ache that makes me think that something is out of place, and while it doesnt really go away it gets better from day to day, and then occasionally worse, somedays i walk on it and the next day its awful, somedays i run on it and its fine. so really i dont know whats going on, i really dont remember how i messed it up in the first place, but its my right leg and i sleep on my right side and my matress is crap, so i'm thinking maybe thats it? i dunno it just hurts and i think walking last night in the rain was not such a good idea, but i wont go to the doctor cause he'll just say ibuprophen and ice and then it will be better tomorrow. so i'll sit here with ice cause ibuprophen makes me loopy and i cant be loopy with kids.

so two quotes today

"man falls in love three times in his life, the first time is calf love, the second he makes his bride, the third he takes to his deathbead"

"please find me forever in your heart, sometimes in your mind, and never in your debt."

both are from libertine, which was a very sexual movie.

so rikki lent me this book called good sex, i dont know why its called good sex, its all about the zodiac. its funny cause according to this book i am a sex goddess, and not only that but i'm irresistable and hooked on power here are a few excerpts

Element: Water
You are: Sensual, sizzling, horny, secretive, hot, difficult (i would argue that last one but i'm easy going and will let it slide)
attracted to: The unobtainable (yup), generous (yup), open (yup), extroverts (yup), confidence (double yup)
Ruler: Pluto and Mars

"Mars and Pluto rule scorpio. the seemingly demonic rulers of scorpop are really our own shadow like the feelings we refuse to admit, like lust, anger, and fear... scorpio has two symbols the scorpion that loves to wait in the warm shadows just to sting you, and the eagle a proud and magnificent creature, that flies high above the underworld and has a clear view of everything...."

"lighten up and trust... one of your lessons is to realize that you are safe. fear is the enemy not love... most people are insecure, but you tend to think its just you and exert a lot of energy trying to cover it up.... scorpios are an extreme lot total sex gods at peace with your lover image, or loners (ok so maybe i'm not a sex goddess :( damn it made me kind of happy) this sounds harsh but that delicious sexual magic can be a blessing or a curse, be confident know that you are irresistable and resist the urge to drown in cynicim" (ha!)

"The Scorpion woman:
you are probably the sexiest woman in the universe, but your lover should be aware that venomous sting: you use it to protect yourself. you can be attracted to unobtainable men and often chase men who are powerful in some way. You appear to give your partner your all, but you are hiding a part of yourself in the deep freeze of your soul. if your lover melts that he will have you forever. he should never take you for granted, flirt with another in front of you or you will get even, even if it takes five years. you are hot property: there is nothing you will not do. if your lover messes with you, however, he pays the price."

i'll post more later just bullshit for now.