so my road got washed out.
i guess thats what i get for living on a dirt road.
its been raining lately and not a little drizzle like it notrmally does like a full on flat out downpour. i had to run to the restroom yesterday and i got soaked on the way there (at school not at home of course)
what else is going on?
i'm taking next semster off and thats all i'm gonna say about that cause i'm not too happy about it and i'm in a pretty good mood so i dont want to think about it too much and wind up getting pissed off cause i did that earlier when i was writing.
school is back in session and i am super busy. i am staying with the Y cause they finally upped the money and are giving me benefits and admitting that i'm full time (it means a new job description and that i have to go to more meetings and do some office work but what the hell i was doing the work anyway right? may as well get paid for it) and i get to fax useless stuff where ever i want haha
i got kind of sick on tuesday and i slept alot yesterday so i dont think i'm gonna sleep tonight, maybe i'll go to OPM if i can find someone willing to go out on a thursday night or try out Raw, i dunno i feel like putting on a short skirt and some high heels and dancing my happy little ass off.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
my knee hurts
i fucked it up i dont know how, but its seriously not ok.
its been hurting kind of off and on for the last few weeks, not sharp pain, i cant stand sharp pain so we all know i'd be in the er right now telling the dr. "drugs i need drugs" but this dull ache that makes me think that something is out of place, and while it doesnt really go away it gets better from day to day, and then occasionally worse, somedays i walk on it and the next day its awful, somedays i run on it and its fine. so really i dont know whats going on, i really dont remember how i messed it up in the first place, but its my right leg and i sleep on my right side and my matress is crap, so i'm thinking maybe thats it? i dunno it just hurts and i think walking last night in the rain was not such a good idea, but i wont go to the doctor cause he'll just say ibuprophen and ice and then it will be better tomorrow. so i'll sit here with ice cause ibuprophen makes me loopy and i cant be loopy with kids.
so two quotes today
"man falls in love three times in his life, the first time is calf love, the second he makes his bride, the third he takes to his deathbead"
"please find me forever in your heart, sometimes in your mind, and never in your debt."
both are from libertine, which was a very sexual movie.
so rikki lent me this book called good sex, i dont know why its called good sex, its all about the zodiac. its funny cause according to this book i am a sex goddess, and not only that but i'm irresistable and hooked on power here are a few excerpts
Element: Water
You are: Sensual, sizzling, horny, secretive, hot, difficult (i would argue that last one but i'm easy going and will let it slide)
attracted to: The unobtainable (yup), generous (yup), open (yup), extroverts (yup), confidence (double yup)
Ruler: Pluto and Mars
"Mars and Pluto rule scorpio. the seemingly demonic rulers of scorpop are really our own shadow like the feelings we refuse to admit, like lust, anger, and fear... scorpio has two symbols the scorpion that loves to wait in the warm shadows just to sting you, and the eagle a proud and magnificent creature, that flies high above the underworld and has a clear view of everything...."
"lighten up and trust... one of your lessons is to realize that you are safe. fear is the enemy not love... most people are insecure, but you tend to think its just you and exert a lot of energy trying to cover it up.... scorpios are an extreme lot total sex gods at peace with your lover image, or loners (ok so maybe i'm not a sex goddess :( damn it made me kind of happy) this sounds harsh but that delicious sexual magic can be a blessing or a curse, be confident know that you are irresistable and resist the urge to drown in cynicim" (ha!)
"The Scorpion woman:
you are probably the sexiest woman in the universe, but your lover should be aware that venomous sting: you use it to protect yourself. you can be attracted to unobtainable men and often chase men who are powerful in some way. You appear to give your partner your all, but you are hiding a part of yourself in the deep freeze of your soul. if your lover melts that he will have you forever. he should never take you for granted, flirt with another in front of you or you will get even, even if it takes five years. you are hot property: there is nothing you will not do. if your lover messes with you, however, he pays the price."
i'll post more later just bullshit for now.
its been hurting kind of off and on for the last few weeks, not sharp pain, i cant stand sharp pain so we all know i'd be in the er right now telling the dr. "drugs i need drugs" but this dull ache that makes me think that something is out of place, and while it doesnt really go away it gets better from day to day, and then occasionally worse, somedays i walk on it and the next day its awful, somedays i run on it and its fine. so really i dont know whats going on, i really dont remember how i messed it up in the first place, but its my right leg and i sleep on my right side and my matress is crap, so i'm thinking maybe thats it? i dunno it just hurts and i think walking last night in the rain was not such a good idea, but i wont go to the doctor cause he'll just say ibuprophen and ice and then it will be better tomorrow. so i'll sit here with ice cause ibuprophen makes me loopy and i cant be loopy with kids.
so two quotes today
"man falls in love three times in his life, the first time is calf love, the second he makes his bride, the third he takes to his deathbead"
"please find me forever in your heart, sometimes in your mind, and never in your debt."
both are from libertine, which was a very sexual movie.
so rikki lent me this book called good sex, i dont know why its called good sex, its all about the zodiac. its funny cause according to this book i am a sex goddess, and not only that but i'm irresistable and hooked on power here are a few excerpts
Element: Water
You are: Sensual, sizzling, horny, secretive, hot, difficult (i would argue that last one but i'm easy going and will let it slide)
attracted to: The unobtainable (yup), generous (yup), open (yup), extroverts (yup), confidence (double yup)
Ruler: Pluto and Mars
"Mars and Pluto rule scorpio. the seemingly demonic rulers of scorpop are really our own shadow like the feelings we refuse to admit, like lust, anger, and fear... scorpio has two symbols the scorpion that loves to wait in the warm shadows just to sting you, and the eagle a proud and magnificent creature, that flies high above the underworld and has a clear view of everything...."
"lighten up and trust... one of your lessons is to realize that you are safe. fear is the enemy not love... most people are insecure, but you tend to think its just you and exert a lot of energy trying to cover it up.... scorpios are an extreme lot total sex gods at peace with your lover image, or loners (ok so maybe i'm not a sex goddess :( damn it made me kind of happy) this sounds harsh but that delicious sexual magic can be a blessing or a curse, be confident know that you are irresistable and resist the urge to drown in cynicim" (ha!)
"The Scorpion woman:
you are probably the sexiest woman in the universe, but your lover should be aware that venomous sting: you use it to protect yourself. you can be attracted to unobtainable men and often chase men who are powerful in some way. You appear to give your partner your all, but you are hiding a part of yourself in the deep freeze of your soul. if your lover melts that he will have you forever. he should never take you for granted, flirt with another in front of you or you will get even, even if it takes five years. you are hot property: there is nothing you will not do. if your lover messes with you, however, he pays the price."
i'll post more later just bullshit for now.
Monday, July 17, 2006
this was written last week
ok so i've been kinda busy doing nothing. forgot about this and then found it when i opened my computer and it was still there. good thing i remember stuff right?
The stereo does its best to fill the the oppressive void left by the silence that clings between us. He said I’m giving him the look again, I don’t even need to ask what look it is. It’s the one that says some thing akin to: you are nothing more than an annoying bug, what are you doing in my life? It’s the one I don’t mean to give, but do, all too often. I tell him I think I’m bipolar, I keep going from one extreme to the next, he tells me I just need to vent to get all the things that are in, weighing down my heart and my mind, out. I tell him that this just makes things worse, I wind up hurting people and making a bigger mess… he tells me this is the only way things will ever have a chance to heal. I shut my mouth and begin the silence. We arrive at the store and I walk quickly to get what is needed and go to the self check out we complete the entire transaction without a word, or a glance. We get back in the car, I drive like a bat out of hell, he doesn’t even open his mouth to tell me to slow down. I think; there are many barbs I could let out, ones that would just reflect, ones that would pierce the skin, and the ones that would go right through the heart. I could kill with four little words, but I decide to swallow the venom, and slowly poison myself instead. We arrive and he’s ready to jump out the door before I even stop the car. He goes in, he doesn’t even ask me if dinner is done he just pulls it out and sort of looks at it. The salmon is perfect the potatoes are still hard. He sits down to watch tv, I escape to my room. I realize all is forgiven when I hear babe dinner is ready without that edge to his voice. I feel slightly relieved, but more like a bitch when I realize, I don’t even know what started the fight, but I know it wasn’t the real reason.
I am discontent… this isn’t the normal pms kinda crabby hormone swings kind of mood, its bordering on mania. I don’t know why, there are a few things it could be, my desire to be living on my own, the strangely satisfying dream I had the other night, a longing for something I cant have. Feeling unproductive. I don’t know… there’s a million things that are bothering me but none that should make me feel this way. I should go, dinner and some semblance of normality are waiting, and while I do not like pretense, I hate cold fish.
Plus poemmes
To a Lover from a Married Woman
What can I say to you,
who have loved the unknown bits and
pieces of me into being
and watched the fragments
weave themselves into another
whole with no more room
for a divided love?
The warp of my existence
lies now in my own hands,
steadier and wiser with the
passage of my inner time,
knowing more now of what I
chose than when I chose it.
Yes, I would choose again
the same end, but in a
different way, not out of
desperation and the need
to cling to clarity, but out of
freedom and the need to find
my soul’s own fabric.
The beginning?
I would not change
a single breathless moment
nor do I fail to savor
all the sharpened memories of it
this hot July night.
Woman
After the thousandth insult
She wakes up to fury
having waited ten thousand years
like the people of India
under their yoke of acceptance
assaulted again and again
by barbarians.
She was Saint Sebastian
bleeding from the arrows.
She has become Saint Joan
a determined Guerrilla
in the centuries old, undeclared
war against her.
The choice
You can carve a life for yourself
just as your bones have been carved
from some larger bone
your flesh peeled from some larger flesh
Or you can life the paring knife
from the kitchen drawer
and free the veins
that rise to meet the skin
There is no one
save the poems you might write
Forbidden Lover
The forbidden lover beckons.
I refuse to follow until
Nightfall cloaks
My heart-tracks
And all eyes are turned aside.
In daylight we pass eachother coldly.
We wear dark glasses.
We speak in tongues and riddles,
Our lovepoems coded on casual conversation or
Passed under tables in large raised letters that
Must be swallowed before we part.
Islanded
Raised in dark barrooms and parking lots
Nurtured on subterfuge our love grows
Deformed. Plans orchestrated in
Hushed phne calls mis-
Communicate. We grow distrustful. We grow wary.
Voices of propriety
Raise haughty heads in snickering chorus:
No blossoming without daylight
Without daylight no blossom.
The Life I Didn’t Live
I wish I never married
I wish I had fewer children
I wish I were lesbian
I wish I ate less meat
less dairy
more umeboshi plums
I wish I talked less on the telephone
celebrated fewer holidays
paid less for cosmetics
dropped more in the poor box
I wish I found less time
for shaving legs and underarms
more for visiting planetariums
I wish I lived in a hermit’s hut
surrounded by edible berries
instead of lawn
I wish the loon called more often
Eating Cantaloupe
I scrape the seeds
from a halved cantaloupe
pare off the thick
veined rind, cut and hold
a wet orange slice. I eat
standing over the sink.
Juice runs across the back
of my hand, drips from my wrist
forearm and chin
even though I quickly suck
and lap as I bite off
each chunk.
The brash color, variegated
texture and gush of juice
from the fruit give me the purpose
for this day
I am the fruit
seeds gone, wrinkly shell
peeled off to reveal
soft flesh covering muscle,
electric-bright mind
and life-juice still rampant
still far from being sucked
away.
If I Could Begin Again
grow
a speck of dust would grow
then let me begin
by being a better daughter.
Let me begin by understanding
the silence of your life;
by showing you the sounds of
sight:
how a peach full in the sun
might be the sun,
how a flock of starlings
fanning the sky
is like one large wing,
by remembering Dad’s gentleness
his quiet but deliberate way
of speaking, so easily read by you.
Let me begin with patience—
that I need not shout,
simply face you
when I speak.
On loving you
One day when I am ninety-one
you will look bat me from the doorway, leaning
with your head tilted to one side
and I will wonder if you remember
how I too used to lean
and lay bay hair down black and whispering on the
pillowcase fresh from the wash, or how
later I would turn
tucking my knees under yours
for the nights insensible hours.
And if I haven’t forgotten— my mind
gone blank as a sheet— I’ll remind you then
of the old amazed look your face wore once
at how much your hands already knew,
and I will call you back from the doorway
to adjust the sweater around my shoulders,
the robe in my lap, and take your hand, upturned
in mine, to show you how that line is still there:
the lifeline I once traced with my nail,
that day on the bench by the river, that first
time, when I—troubled—leaned my head on your shoulder,
sideways, the way I do now
and you will then.
The stereo does its best to fill the the oppressive void left by the silence that clings between us. He said I’m giving him the look again, I don’t even need to ask what look it is. It’s the one that says some thing akin to: you are nothing more than an annoying bug, what are you doing in my life? It’s the one I don’t mean to give, but do, all too often. I tell him I think I’m bipolar, I keep going from one extreme to the next, he tells me I just need to vent to get all the things that are in, weighing down my heart and my mind, out. I tell him that this just makes things worse, I wind up hurting people and making a bigger mess… he tells me this is the only way things will ever have a chance to heal. I shut my mouth and begin the silence. We arrive at the store and I walk quickly to get what is needed and go to the self check out we complete the entire transaction without a word, or a glance. We get back in the car, I drive like a bat out of hell, he doesn’t even open his mouth to tell me to slow down. I think; there are many barbs I could let out, ones that would just reflect, ones that would pierce the skin, and the ones that would go right through the heart. I could kill with four little words, but I decide to swallow the venom, and slowly poison myself instead. We arrive and he’s ready to jump out the door before I even stop the car. He goes in, he doesn’t even ask me if dinner is done he just pulls it out and sort of looks at it. The salmon is perfect the potatoes are still hard. He sits down to watch tv, I escape to my room. I realize all is forgiven when I hear babe dinner is ready without that edge to his voice. I feel slightly relieved, but more like a bitch when I realize, I don’t even know what started the fight, but I know it wasn’t the real reason.
I am discontent… this isn’t the normal pms kinda crabby hormone swings kind of mood, its bordering on mania. I don’t know why, there are a few things it could be, my desire to be living on my own, the strangely satisfying dream I had the other night, a longing for something I cant have. Feeling unproductive. I don’t know… there’s a million things that are bothering me but none that should make me feel this way. I should go, dinner and some semblance of normality are waiting, and while I do not like pretense, I hate cold fish.
Plus poemmes
To a Lover from a Married Woman
What can I say to you,
who have loved the unknown bits and
pieces of me into being
and watched the fragments
weave themselves into another
whole with no more room
for a divided love?
The warp of my existence
lies now in my own hands,
steadier and wiser with the
passage of my inner time,
knowing more now of what I
chose than when I chose it.
Yes, I would choose again
the same end, but in a
different way, not out of
desperation and the need
to cling to clarity, but out of
freedom and the need to find
my soul’s own fabric.
The beginning?
I would not change
a single breathless moment
nor do I fail to savor
all the sharpened memories of it
this hot July night.
Woman
After the thousandth insult
She wakes up to fury
having waited ten thousand years
like the people of India
under their yoke of acceptance
assaulted again and again
by barbarians.
She was Saint Sebastian
bleeding from the arrows.
She has become Saint Joan
a determined Guerrilla
in the centuries old, undeclared
war against her.
The choice
You can carve a life for yourself
just as your bones have been carved
from some larger bone
your flesh peeled from some larger flesh
Or you can life the paring knife
from the kitchen drawer
and free the veins
that rise to meet the skin
There is no one
save the poems you might write
Forbidden Lover
The forbidden lover beckons.
I refuse to follow until
Nightfall cloaks
My heart-tracks
And all eyes are turned aside.
In daylight we pass eachother coldly.
We wear dark glasses.
We speak in tongues and riddles,
Our lovepoems coded on casual conversation or
Passed under tables in large raised letters that
Must be swallowed before we part.
Islanded
Raised in dark barrooms and parking lots
Nurtured on subterfuge our love grows
Deformed. Plans orchestrated in
Hushed phne calls mis-
Communicate. We grow distrustful. We grow wary.
Voices of propriety
Raise haughty heads in snickering chorus:
No blossoming without daylight
Without daylight no blossom.
The Life I Didn’t Live
I wish I never married
I wish I had fewer children
I wish I were lesbian
I wish I ate less meat
less dairy
more umeboshi plums
I wish I talked less on the telephone
celebrated fewer holidays
paid less for cosmetics
dropped more in the poor box
I wish I found less time
for shaving legs and underarms
more for visiting planetariums
I wish I lived in a hermit’s hut
surrounded by edible berries
instead of lawn
I wish the loon called more often
Eating Cantaloupe
I scrape the seeds
from a halved cantaloupe
pare off the thick
veined rind, cut and hold
a wet orange slice. I eat
standing over the sink.
Juice runs across the back
of my hand, drips from my wrist
forearm and chin
even though I quickly suck
and lap as I bite off
each chunk.
The brash color, variegated
texture and gush of juice
from the fruit give me the purpose
for this day
I am the fruit
seeds gone, wrinkly shell
peeled off to reveal
soft flesh covering muscle,
electric-bright mind
and life-juice still rampant
still far from being sucked
away.
If I Could Begin Again
grow
a speck of dust would grow
then let me begin
by being a better daughter.
Let me begin by understanding
the silence of your life;
by showing you the sounds of
sight:
how a peach full in the sun
might be the sun,
how a flock of starlings
fanning the sky
is like one large wing,
by remembering Dad’s gentleness
his quiet but deliberate way
of speaking, so easily read by you.
Let me begin with patience—
that I need not shout,
simply face you
when I speak.
On loving you
One day when I am ninety-one
you will look bat me from the doorway, leaning
with your head tilted to one side
and I will wonder if you remember
how I too used to lean
and lay bay hair down black and whispering on the
pillowcase fresh from the wash, or how
later I would turn
tucking my knees under yours
for the nights insensible hours.
And if I haven’t forgotten— my mind
gone blank as a sheet— I’ll remind you then
of the old amazed look your face wore once
at how much your hands already knew,
and I will call you back from the doorway
to adjust the sweater around my shoulders,
the robe in my lap, and take your hand, upturned
in mine, to show you how that line is still there:
the lifeline I once traced with my nail,
that day on the bench by the river, that first
time, when I—troubled—leaned my head on your shoulder,
sideways, the way I do now
and you will then.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
restless
My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah my foes, and oh my friends;
It makes a lovely light.
i dont remember who wrote that... i cant sleep... i went to bed last night at about midnight and i woke up this morning at like 5:30 (and a million times in between) thinking of a million things and nothing...
i am feeling restless and desperate for change.
thats normal
i'm also pretty miserable
thats kind of normal too for me anyway
i dont know what i want anymore, i feel like i'm lost in a whirlpool and everything seems like the solution as i whirl past it until i come upon the next thing...
i cant do this anymore... i hate feeling this way. i need to do something productive, like mail that package i need to resend, help my sister find a house considering she'll be down here in 21 days, iron... hey thats something i could do... i think i'm gonna go iron.
It will not last the night;
But ah my foes, and oh my friends;
It makes a lovely light.
i dont remember who wrote that... i cant sleep... i went to bed last night at about midnight and i woke up this morning at like 5:30 (and a million times in between) thinking of a million things and nothing...
i am feeling restless and desperate for change.
thats normal
i'm also pretty miserable
thats kind of normal too for me anyway
i dont know what i want anymore, i feel like i'm lost in a whirlpool and everything seems like the solution as i whirl past it until i come upon the next thing...
i cant do this anymore... i hate feeling this way. i need to do something productive, like mail that package i need to resend, help my sister find a house considering she'll be down here in 21 days, iron... hey thats something i could do... i think i'm gonna go iron.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Mom's House
So I have done the weirdest things on my vacation
I have chickened out of selling some paintings… I met this dude at a party (John maybe?)and he saw some of my stuff and was like hey you should bring some stuff down to my gallery and I’ll see if I can hook you up. I totally chickened out. I don’t know why, possibly it was the lack of martinis the day I was supposed to take them, as opposed to the day I showed him my sketchbook when I had too many, who knows. I have this dream of creating a community art space but I cant even sell a couple of lousy paintings… ok, so it is much easier for me to sell something that isn’t mine than something that I know is a part of my soul… ok I sound a little melodramatic (a little?) but I don’t paint what I see, lord knows I’m not nearly talented enough for that, I paint what I feel, and I just couldn’t sell my emotions… does that make me crazy, probably… but I’m ok with that.
I’m baking again… people have been telling me all weekend I look like I’m miserable, I am and I cant say why… that and I’m at my mothers house. So I have to bake… I am trying to compile some of her best dishes into a sort of family recipe book Como Agua Para Chocolate style, problem is that my favorite things she make don’t have a recipie, it’s a pinch of this a handful of that (or a hand and a half for me) a can of this a dash… you get the picture, so far the only things I have been able to translate are the cookies, and that’s because I have been in charge of the sweets for years, I have a few typed up and I think that I will post them on here for the sake of well just cause its mine and I can. I hate coming over to my mother’s house… I don’t mean that to sound like it does and I don’t actually hate it, it’s just that every time I come over here I can’t stop eating… I think I have finally realized how I became the fat kid. The second I walk in that door I’m like a magnet, its either hey I saved you some lunch ( and its never like a salad or a sandwich, I have a Hispanic mother lunch is LUNCH, a meal that in any other place would tide me over for the whole day) or mi’ija I don’t have anything made, but there’s leftovers (which fall into the same category as lunch) and then its our weekly ritual that she comes up with some excuse for me to make her something sweet. Pies, cookies, brownies, cake, whatever. And then she tells me there’s ice cream or popsicles in the fridge and if I say no thank you she asks me if I’m sick. And then she offers me something else that’s delicious and irresistible and then we make dinner which is usually a million calories in a serving and then there’s dessert and then there’s something to take home. I think that this kind of mentality, growing up like this is why I think that DIEting is equivalent to death. I love food, and I love my mother, but I would like to be able to wear a bikini before I am too old to buy one without the sales lady cringing, but I’m starting to think that it is impossible, I have been working my ass of lately and I’m finally seeing a difference, but I’m starting to fear my mothers house, and worse I catch myself doing the same thing when someone comes over to my house, I keep feeding them, its this strange sort of compulsion, I think ‘Zo has gained at least 20 pounds since we got married, and that’s not such a good thing, its only been a few months… I think I’m gonna stop cooking… but I cant the betty crocker gene in me makes me do it. Fast food is disgusting and I prefer homemade to take out, and if its gonna be homemade its gonna be good homemade. HELP ME!!!!!
Ok enough with my rant about being fat…
I have been organizing. Organizing everything… I have made lists and lists and lists of dvd’s of cd’s putting everything in neat little piles of his and mine… ok so the stuff isn’t in piles its in cases in alphabetical order, except for sequels which are alphabetical by the first and then sequential. I cleaned out my closet, I realized that having a tee shirt and tennies job and then wearing tee shirts and tennies on the weekend has greatly hindered my closet, I only have a few things that are appropriate for an office setting and most of those are black… I think I am going to try and get rid of a lot of the black in my wardrobe, I am growing up and I think its time for color… of course I’m not about to run around in like a lime green skirt, but a blouse of that color on top of a pair of slacks with a pair of heels… that could be great. Punch up my semi-goth wardrobe a bit, not that I have ever been or ever will be considered goth, I just like the color black and someone called me a poser because of it the other day… speaking of posers, don’t you love the way that all the people who consider themselves goth think all the other people who consider themselves goth are posers I cant count how many times I have heard oh well she’s just a hot topic goth, or he’s not really emo or… you get the pic… damnit if you want to classify yourself, and lord knows why you would want to anyway, don’t deny others the same ability, ok? I will be the first to say it on my behalf, I am not goth and if you think I’m a poser I’m sorry, I am no one but myself, and that’s good enough for me… then again maybe that’s the problem.
So I have been thinking about Lindsey a lot lately… I don’t know why. I feel kinda bad cause the last time I spoke with her I ended things on a sort of bad note. I got mad at her for being rude, she says she wasn’t really being rude to me, just rude to people in general… and that’s what upset me. She’s always blaming her sister for being mean and picking fights but she was attacking her for no reason, I felt embarrassed for her, and sorry for her sister who, may have a temper, but is a pretty cool person. I don’t want to be her friend anymore, don’t get me wrong, there’s a time when I would have given my left leg for that, and she hasn’t really done anything to me, but I feel sorry for her, she is turning into this really bitter person, she makes Cheryl look like sunshine and daisies the last few times I’ve seen her. She seems to want to use people for her amusement and I have never really been good at being a puppet on a string. The thought of this makes me kind of sad, its like the end of an era the end of my childhood or something… I still feel bad for what I did, but it was nothing personal, it was love. Which I guess IS personal but not toward her, I would have done it to anyone else, I’m sorry it had to be her, but looking back we had a pretty twisted semi abusive relationship to begin with, I think that even if Domenick hadn’t come into the picture things would have ended. I miss having a friend that I considered that close but really I don’t want the drama that seems to follow her like stink on shit, and thinking of some of the things that happened she wasn’t really that great of a friend, and as close as I tried to be to her, she wouldn’t let me in. The real sad part is I miss her family more than I miss her.
That was kind of harsh… and I’m contemplating erasing it but I don’t think I will.
I fucked up my knee at the lake this weekend, don’t know how but swimming with it for a few hours afterward, was not the best thing to do. But I was bored and didn’t want to just stand around the water, that and some of the scubadivers kept making inappropriate comments about my tits and how cold the water was. I got kinda moody the last day or two, and I feel bad about it cause it had nothing to do with anyone who was there. I’m just glum, and everyone knows, and I’m contemplating telling everyone why… but then I will just make them all desolate too. I should find an apartment before I spread this melancholy to the whole world, or move out of the city or right now I’m getting ready to leave the whole damn country behind.
I have chickened out of selling some paintings… I met this dude at a party (John maybe?)and he saw some of my stuff and was like hey you should bring some stuff down to my gallery and I’ll see if I can hook you up. I totally chickened out. I don’t know why, possibly it was the lack of martinis the day I was supposed to take them, as opposed to the day I showed him my sketchbook when I had too many, who knows. I have this dream of creating a community art space but I cant even sell a couple of lousy paintings… ok, so it is much easier for me to sell something that isn’t mine than something that I know is a part of my soul… ok I sound a little melodramatic (a little?) but I don’t paint what I see, lord knows I’m not nearly talented enough for that, I paint what I feel, and I just couldn’t sell my emotions… does that make me crazy, probably… but I’m ok with that.
I’m baking again… people have been telling me all weekend I look like I’m miserable, I am and I cant say why… that and I’m at my mothers house. So I have to bake… I am trying to compile some of her best dishes into a sort of family recipe book Como Agua Para Chocolate style, problem is that my favorite things she make don’t have a recipie, it’s a pinch of this a handful of that (or a hand and a half for me) a can of this a dash… you get the picture, so far the only things I have been able to translate are the cookies, and that’s because I have been in charge of the sweets for years, I have a few typed up and I think that I will post them on here for the sake of well just cause its mine and I can. I hate coming over to my mother’s house… I don’t mean that to sound like it does and I don’t actually hate it, it’s just that every time I come over here I can’t stop eating… I think I have finally realized how I became the fat kid. The second I walk in that door I’m like a magnet, its either hey I saved you some lunch ( and its never like a salad or a sandwich, I have a Hispanic mother lunch is LUNCH, a meal that in any other place would tide me over for the whole day) or mi’ija I don’t have anything made, but there’s leftovers (which fall into the same category as lunch) and then its our weekly ritual that she comes up with some excuse for me to make her something sweet. Pies, cookies, brownies, cake, whatever. And then she tells me there’s ice cream or popsicles in the fridge and if I say no thank you she asks me if I’m sick. And then she offers me something else that’s delicious and irresistible and then we make dinner which is usually a million calories in a serving and then there’s dessert and then there’s something to take home. I think that this kind of mentality, growing up like this is why I think that DIEting is equivalent to death. I love food, and I love my mother, but I would like to be able to wear a bikini before I am too old to buy one without the sales lady cringing, but I’m starting to think that it is impossible, I have been working my ass of lately and I’m finally seeing a difference, but I’m starting to fear my mothers house, and worse I catch myself doing the same thing when someone comes over to my house, I keep feeding them, its this strange sort of compulsion, I think ‘Zo has gained at least 20 pounds since we got married, and that’s not such a good thing, its only been a few months… I think I’m gonna stop cooking… but I cant the betty crocker gene in me makes me do it. Fast food is disgusting and I prefer homemade to take out, and if its gonna be homemade its gonna be good homemade. HELP ME!!!!!
Ok enough with my rant about being fat…
I have been organizing. Organizing everything… I have made lists and lists and lists of dvd’s of cd’s putting everything in neat little piles of his and mine… ok so the stuff isn’t in piles its in cases in alphabetical order, except for sequels which are alphabetical by the first and then sequential. I cleaned out my closet, I realized that having a tee shirt and tennies job and then wearing tee shirts and tennies on the weekend has greatly hindered my closet, I only have a few things that are appropriate for an office setting and most of those are black… I think I am going to try and get rid of a lot of the black in my wardrobe, I am growing up and I think its time for color… of course I’m not about to run around in like a lime green skirt, but a blouse of that color on top of a pair of slacks with a pair of heels… that could be great. Punch up my semi-goth wardrobe a bit, not that I have ever been or ever will be considered goth, I just like the color black and someone called me a poser because of it the other day… speaking of posers, don’t you love the way that all the people who consider themselves goth think all the other people who consider themselves goth are posers I cant count how many times I have heard oh well she’s just a hot topic goth, or he’s not really emo or… you get the pic… damnit if you want to classify yourself, and lord knows why you would want to anyway, don’t deny others the same ability, ok? I will be the first to say it on my behalf, I am not goth and if you think I’m a poser I’m sorry, I am no one but myself, and that’s good enough for me… then again maybe that’s the problem.
So I have been thinking about Lindsey a lot lately… I don’t know why. I feel kinda bad cause the last time I spoke with her I ended things on a sort of bad note. I got mad at her for being rude, she says she wasn’t really being rude to me, just rude to people in general… and that’s what upset me. She’s always blaming her sister for being mean and picking fights but she was attacking her for no reason, I felt embarrassed for her, and sorry for her sister who, may have a temper, but is a pretty cool person. I don’t want to be her friend anymore, don’t get me wrong, there’s a time when I would have given my left leg for that, and she hasn’t really done anything to me, but I feel sorry for her, she is turning into this really bitter person, she makes Cheryl look like sunshine and daisies the last few times I’ve seen her. She seems to want to use people for her amusement and I have never really been good at being a puppet on a string. The thought of this makes me kind of sad, its like the end of an era the end of my childhood or something… I still feel bad for what I did, but it was nothing personal, it was love. Which I guess IS personal but not toward her, I would have done it to anyone else, I’m sorry it had to be her, but looking back we had a pretty twisted semi abusive relationship to begin with, I think that even if Domenick hadn’t come into the picture things would have ended. I miss having a friend that I considered that close but really I don’t want the drama that seems to follow her like stink on shit, and thinking of some of the things that happened she wasn’t really that great of a friend, and as close as I tried to be to her, she wouldn’t let me in. The real sad part is I miss her family more than I miss her.
That was kind of harsh… and I’m contemplating erasing it but I don’t think I will.
I fucked up my knee at the lake this weekend, don’t know how but swimming with it for a few hours afterward, was not the best thing to do. But I was bored and didn’t want to just stand around the water, that and some of the scubadivers kept making inappropriate comments about my tits and how cold the water was. I got kinda moody the last day or two, and I feel bad about it cause it had nothing to do with anyone who was there. I’m just glum, and everyone knows, and I’m contemplating telling everyone why… but then I will just make them all desolate too. I should find an apartment before I spread this melancholy to the whole world, or move out of the city or right now I’m getting ready to leave the whole damn country behind.
the fruit of my vacation (kinda sad)
ok so this is really geeky and kinda sad but here it is this is what i did on my vaction the recipies aren't finished and the cd list didnt save (unless i saved it to my flash drive i don't remember.) so yeah this might be mildly interesting if you want to get in my head somewhat ... i know i'm the kind of person who secretly tries to figure a person out by the random stuff they like.
DVD list
Drea’s have an asterisk next to them
Mario’s have two
8 Mile
50 First Dates *
The Addams Family
The Addams Family Values
Aladdin *
Aladdin: The Return of Jafar
Aladdin and The King of Thieves
Anchorman
Anger Management
Armageddon *
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Austin Powers: Goldmember
Avatar: Book One: Water Vol. 1
Avatar: Book One: Water Vol. 2
Avatar: Book One: Water Vol. 3
Back To The Future
Back To The Future II
Back To The Future III
Bad Boys
Bad Boys II
Batman Begins
Batman
Batman Returns
Batman Forever
Batman & Robin
Batman: Mask of The Phantasm
Batman: The Legend Begins Vol. 1
Batman: Tales of The Dark Knight Vol. 2
Batman: Out of The Shadows Vol. 3
The Batman Superman Movie
Batman: Mystery of The Batwoman
Batman Beyond Season 1
Batman Beyond Return of The Joker Uncut
Beastwars Season 1
Beastwars Season 2
Beastwars Season 3
Beauty And The Beast *
Bedazzled
The Beverly Hillbillies
Bewitched *
Big Daddy
Big Fish *
Black Sheep
Blade
Blade II
Blade: Trinity
Braveheart *
Bruce Almighty
The Butterfly Effect *
Casablanca *
The Cell *
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory *
Charlies Angels
Charlies Angels: Full Throttle
Chicago *
Cinderella *
Collateral
The Color Purple *
Constantine *
Cradle 2 The Grave
Creepshow
The Crow
The Crow: City of Angels
The Crow: Salvation
Daredevil
Death To Smoochy
Detroit Rock City
Die Hard
Die Hard 2: Die Harder
Die Hard With A Vengance
Dirty Dancing *
Dirty Dancing: Havanah Nights *
Dogma
Don Juan Del Marco *
Donnie Darko
Dragon Ball Z The Movie: The Tree of Might
Dragon Ball Z: Broly Second Coming
Dragon Ball GT : Affliction
Dragon Ball GT : Incubation
Dragon Ball GT :Creation
Dragon Ball GT : Proliferation
Dragon Ball GT : Ramifications
Dragon Ball GT : Preparation
Dreamcatcher
Edward Scissorhands
Edward Scissorhands *
Eight Crazy Nights
El Mariachi + Desperado
Ernest Goes to Camp
Ernest Goes to Jail
Ernest Scared Stupid
Enemy of The State
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind *
Ever After: A Cinderella Story *
Face Off
The Faculty
Fast And The Furious
Fantastic 4
100. Felix the Cat **
101. Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest *
102. The Fifth Element *
103. Final Destination
104. Final Destination 2
105. Finding Nemo *
106. Flubber *
107. Forrest Gump *
108. Freddy vs. Jason
109. The Frighteners
110. French Kiss *
111. From Dusk Till Dawn
112. Fun with Dick and Jane
113. Gangs of New York *
114. A Goofy Movie
115. Ghost *
116. Grave of the Fireflies *
117. The Green Mile *
118. Halloween Resurrection
119. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone *
120. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets *
121. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban *
122. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire *
123. HellBoy
124. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
125. Hook *
126. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days *
127. Hulk
128. I, Robot *
129. Idle Hands
130. In The Mouth Of Madness
131. The Incredibles
132. Independence Day
133. Invader Zim Vol. 1: Doom Doom Doom
134. Invader Zim Vol. 2: Progressive Stupidity
135. Invader Zim Vol. 3: Horrible Holiday Cheer
136. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
137. The Jerk
138. Johnny Mnemonic
139. Jurassic Park
140. Jurassic Park III
141. Justice League
142. Kill Bill Vol.1 *
143. Kill Bill Vol. 2 **
144. King Kong
145. Kiss of the Dragon
146. Kung Fu Hustle
147. Last Action Hero
148. The Last Dragon
149. The Last Samurai *
150. Lawnmower Man
151. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen *
152. The Lion King *
153. The Lion King 1 1/2
154. Little Nicky
155. Little Shop of Horrors *
156. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
157. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
158. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
159. Loony Toons Golden Collection Vol.1
160. Loony Toons Golden Collection Vol.2
161. Loony Toons Golden Collection Vol.3
162. Loony Toons Back in Action: The Movie
163. Mad City
164. Madagascar *
165. Mallrats
166. The Man Who Knew Too Much *
167. Mary Poppins *
168. The Mask
169. The Mask of Zorro *
170. The Legend of Zorro *
171. Matilda
172. The Matrix 10 Collection *
173. The Matrix
174. The Animatrix
175. Matrix Reloaded
176. Matrix Revolutions
177. Me, Myself, & Irene
178. The Medallion
179. Meet The Parents
180. Meet The Fockers
181. Men In Black
182. Men In Black II
183. Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses
184. A Midsummer Nights Dream *
185. Mona Lisa Smile*
186. Monkey Bone
187. Mortal Kombat
188. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
189. Moulin Rouge! *
190. Mulan *
191. The Musketeers
192. My Life *
193. Mystery Men
194. Never Been Kissed *
195. The Nightmare Before Christmas *
196. Ninja Scroll 10th Anniversary Special Edition
197. Once Upon a time In Mexico
198. One Hour Photo
199. Patch Addams *
200. The Patriot *
201. Peter Pan *
202. Phenomenon *
203. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
204. Planes, Trains and Automobiles
205. Planet of the Apes
206. Pleasantville
207. Popeye
208. The Powerpuff Girls Movie
209. Primal Fear
210. The Prince and Me *
211. The Princess Bride *
212. Pulp Fiction
213. Punch Drunk Love
214. The Punisher
215. Queen of The Damned *
216. Rainman
217. Ready To Rumble
218. Red Dragon
219. Resident Evil
220. Resident Evil: Apocalypse
221. Riddick Trilogy: Pitch Black
222. Riddick Trilogy: The Chronicles Of Riddick
223. Riddick Trilogy: Dark Fury
224. Romeo and Juliet *
225. Romeo Must Die
226. The Rundown
227. Sahara
228. The Sand Lot *
229. Scary Movie
230. Scary Movie 2
231. Secret Window
232. Serenity *
233. Seven
234. A Series of Unfortunate Events *
235. Shanghai Noon *
236. Shanghai Knights *
237. The Shawshank Redemption *
238. Shrek
239. Shrek 2
240. The Simpsons the Complete First Season
241. The Simpsons the Complete Second Season
242. The Simpsons the Complete Third Season
243. The Simpsons the Complete Fourth Season
244. The Simpsons the Complete Fifth Season
245. The Simpsons the Complete Sixth Season
246. The Simpsons the Complete Seventh Season
247. Sin City
248. Sleepy Hollow *
249. Snow White: A Tale of Terror
250. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
251. Spawn (the movie)
252. Spawn (the cartoon)
253. Spawn 2 (the cartoon)
254. Spiderman
255. Spiderman 2
256. Spiderman: The Animated Series
257. Starship Troopers
258. Stay Tuned
259. Street Fighter
260. Super Mario Bros.
261. Superman The Movie
262. Superman II
263. Superman Showdown (old school)**
264. The Sixth Sense *
265. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
266. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II
267. The Terminal *
268. Thirteen Ghosts*
269. Titan A.E.
270. Tombstone: Directors Cut *
271. The Toy
272. Toys
273. Trading Places
274. Transformers: The Movie
275. The Transporter
276. Ultimate Avengers: The Movie
277. Unleashed
278. Unbreakable
279. Underworld
280. Underworld Evolution
281. Uptown Girls
282. Van Helsing*
283. Vanilla Sky *
284. Vegas Vacation
285. The Village
286. Walking Tall *
287. The Waterboy
288. Waynes World
289. Waynes World 2
290. What Women Want *
291. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
292. Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
293. The Wizard of Oz *
294. The Wedding Singer
295. What Dreams May Come *
296. Wildthings
297. X Men
298. X2
299. YuGiOh: The Movie
Delora’s Delicious Recipes
Chocolate Chip Biscotti
4 oz. unsalted butter
1 ¼ C. sugar (more for sprinkling)
2 eggs (plus an additional for brushing)
1 T. vanilla
2 ½ C. flour (more for flouring)
1 ½ t. baking powder
½ t. salt
½ t. cinnamon
½ C. Old Fashioned oats
¼ C. pecans (or Almonds… or Walnuts…)
Heat oven to 325F. Line baking sheet with parchment. Cream butter and sugar by hand. Add eggs and vanilla and beat until fluffy.
In a separate bowl, mix flour salt baking powder cinnamon and oats. Add to butter and sugar in a few additions. Finally, mix in the nuts and chips
Dump the dough out onto a floured surface and roll into a log 12” long 3” wide. Move log to baking sheet and flatten slightly with hands. Brush with beaten egg and sprinkle with sugar.
Bake until firm and lightly browned, remove from oven and allow to cool. Reduce oven to 225F. Slice the log crosswise into pieces ½ to ¾” thick. Return to oven until edges become dry and crispy. (approx. 30 mins.)
Butterscotch-White Chocolate Biscotti
2 C. flour
2/3 C. brown sugar
1/2 t. salt
1 t. baking soda
8 oz. chopped white chocolate (or butterscotch bits to make Double Butterscotch Biscotti)
1 t. vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 egg white
Heat oven to 350F. Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Combine vanilla with next two ingredients. Add to flour mixture; stir until well blended (dough will be dry).
Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead 7 or 8 times. Shape dough into a 16 inch long roll. Place roll on a baking sheet coated with cooking spray; flatten to 1” thickness.
Bake for 30 mins. Let cool. Cut roll diagonally into ½” slices, and place on baking sheet. Bake for 325F for 10 mins each side. Remove and cool.
Biscochitos
2 C. lard
2 C. sugar
1 t. salt
1 ½ T. crushed anise
1T. vanilla
2 eggs
¼ C. orange juice, brandy, pineapple juice, or water
6 C. flour
1 T baking powder
Cream sugar, lard, anise and salt, add in vanilla and eggs; beat until fluffy. Add baking powder, flour and liquid. Mix until well bleneded
Roll out to desired thickness (mom makes them about 1/8” thick mmm crispy), and cut with cookie cutter of desired shape and size.
Dip cut cookies into a mix of about ¼ C. sugar and ½-1t cinnamon. Place on cookie sheet and bake until cooked through (will vary depending on thickness, edges will be light brown)
Peanut Butter Cookies
1 C. brown sugar
1C. sugar
1 t. salt
1C. peanut butter
1.t Baking soda
1 ½ C. flour
2 eggs
½ c. shortening
Cream shortening, peanut butter, and sugars. Add eggs and beat till fluffy, add salt soda and flour. Mix well
Roll dough into balls press with fork or floured bottom of glass. Bake at 350F for about 10 mins.
Oatmeal Cookies
1 c. flour
½ c. sugar
½ c. brown sugar
½ t. baking powder
¼ t. salt
½ c. shortening
1 egg
¼ t. vanilla
¾ c. oats
1/4c. walnuts
optional:
¼ c chocolate chips
¼ c raisins
mix sugar, shortening vanilla and eggs till fluffy, add dry ingredients, make into 1” balls roll in sugar cinnamon mix bake 350F 10 mins
Mexican Mocha Balls
1 c. butter
½ c. cherries
½ c. cocoa
1 ½ c. sugar
¼ t salt
1 c. walnuts
2 c. flour
1 t. instant coffee
1 t. vanilla
mix butter, sugar, salt, vanilla and coffee until well blended, add in cocoa and flour, mix well add in chopped nuts and chopped cherries refrigerate mixture overnight.
Roll into one inch balls bake at 325F for 20 mins. Allow to cool and roll in powdered sugar to coat.
Wedding Cookies
½ lb butter
3 heaping T sugar
1 T vanilla
2 C. flour
Pinch of salt
1 c almonds (chopped finely)
blend first three ingredients, mix in the next three roll into balls and press. Bake 10-12 mins. Cool slightly and dip in powdered sugar to coat
DVD list
Drea’s have an asterisk next to them
Mario’s have two
8 Mile
50 First Dates *
The Addams Family
The Addams Family Values
Aladdin *
Aladdin: The Return of Jafar
Aladdin and The King of Thieves
Anchorman
Anger Management
Armageddon *
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Austin Powers: Goldmember
Avatar: Book One: Water Vol. 1
Avatar: Book One: Water Vol. 2
Avatar: Book One: Water Vol. 3
Back To The Future
Back To The Future II
Back To The Future III
Bad Boys
Bad Boys II
Batman Begins
Batman
Batman Returns
Batman Forever
Batman & Robin
Batman: Mask of The Phantasm
Batman: The Legend Begins Vol. 1
Batman: Tales of The Dark Knight Vol. 2
Batman: Out of The Shadows Vol. 3
The Batman Superman Movie
Batman: Mystery of The Batwoman
Batman Beyond Season 1
Batman Beyond Return of The Joker Uncut
Beastwars Season 1
Beastwars Season 2
Beastwars Season 3
Beauty And The Beast *
Bedazzled
The Beverly Hillbillies
Bewitched *
Big Daddy
Big Fish *
Black Sheep
Blade
Blade II
Blade: Trinity
Braveheart *
Bruce Almighty
The Butterfly Effect *
Casablanca *
The Cell *
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory *
Charlies Angels
Charlies Angels: Full Throttle
Chicago *
Cinderella *
Collateral
The Color Purple *
Constantine *
Cradle 2 The Grave
Creepshow
The Crow
The Crow: City of Angels
The Crow: Salvation
Daredevil
Death To Smoochy
Detroit Rock City
Die Hard
Die Hard 2: Die Harder
Die Hard With A Vengance
Dirty Dancing *
Dirty Dancing: Havanah Nights *
Dogma
Don Juan Del Marco *
Donnie Darko
Dragon Ball Z The Movie: The Tree of Might
Dragon Ball Z: Broly Second Coming
Dragon Ball GT : Affliction
Dragon Ball GT : Incubation
Dragon Ball GT :Creation
Dragon Ball GT : Proliferation
Dragon Ball GT : Ramifications
Dragon Ball GT : Preparation
Dreamcatcher
Edward Scissorhands
Edward Scissorhands *
Eight Crazy Nights
El Mariachi + Desperado
Ernest Goes to Camp
Ernest Goes to Jail
Ernest Scared Stupid
Enemy of The State
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind *
Ever After: A Cinderella Story *
Face Off
The Faculty
Fast And The Furious
Fantastic 4
100. Felix the Cat **
101. Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest *
102. The Fifth Element *
103. Final Destination
104. Final Destination 2
105. Finding Nemo *
106. Flubber *
107. Forrest Gump *
108. Freddy vs. Jason
109. The Frighteners
110. French Kiss *
111. From Dusk Till Dawn
112. Fun with Dick and Jane
113. Gangs of New York *
114. A Goofy Movie
115. Ghost *
116. Grave of the Fireflies *
117. The Green Mile *
118. Halloween Resurrection
119. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone *
120. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets *
121. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban *
122. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire *
123. HellBoy
124. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
125. Hook *
126. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days *
127. Hulk
128. I, Robot *
129. Idle Hands
130. In The Mouth Of Madness
131. The Incredibles
132. Independence Day
133. Invader Zim Vol. 1: Doom Doom Doom
134. Invader Zim Vol. 2: Progressive Stupidity
135. Invader Zim Vol. 3: Horrible Holiday Cheer
136. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
137. The Jerk
138. Johnny Mnemonic
139. Jurassic Park
140. Jurassic Park III
141. Justice League
142. Kill Bill Vol.1 *
143. Kill Bill Vol. 2 **
144. King Kong
145. Kiss of the Dragon
146. Kung Fu Hustle
147. Last Action Hero
148. The Last Dragon
149. The Last Samurai *
150. Lawnmower Man
151. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen *
152. The Lion King *
153. The Lion King 1 1/2
154. Little Nicky
155. Little Shop of Horrors *
156. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
157. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
158. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
159. Loony Toons Golden Collection Vol.1
160. Loony Toons Golden Collection Vol.2
161. Loony Toons Golden Collection Vol.3
162. Loony Toons Back in Action: The Movie
163. Mad City
164. Madagascar *
165. Mallrats
166. The Man Who Knew Too Much *
167. Mary Poppins *
168. The Mask
169. The Mask of Zorro *
170. The Legend of Zorro *
171. Matilda
172. The Matrix 10 Collection *
173. The Matrix
174. The Animatrix
175. Matrix Reloaded
176. Matrix Revolutions
177. Me, Myself, & Irene
178. The Medallion
179. Meet The Parents
180. Meet The Fockers
181. Men In Black
182. Men In Black II
183. Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses
184. A Midsummer Nights Dream *
185. Mona Lisa Smile*
186. Monkey Bone
187. Mortal Kombat
188. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
189. Moulin Rouge! *
190. Mulan *
191. The Musketeers
192. My Life *
193. Mystery Men
194. Never Been Kissed *
195. The Nightmare Before Christmas *
196. Ninja Scroll 10th Anniversary Special Edition
197. Once Upon a time In Mexico
198. One Hour Photo
199. Patch Addams *
200. The Patriot *
201. Peter Pan *
202. Phenomenon *
203. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
204. Planes, Trains and Automobiles
205. Planet of the Apes
206. Pleasantville
207. Popeye
208. The Powerpuff Girls Movie
209. Primal Fear
210. The Prince and Me *
211. The Princess Bride *
212. Pulp Fiction
213. Punch Drunk Love
214. The Punisher
215. Queen of The Damned *
216. Rainman
217. Ready To Rumble
218. Red Dragon
219. Resident Evil
220. Resident Evil: Apocalypse
221. Riddick Trilogy: Pitch Black
222. Riddick Trilogy: The Chronicles Of Riddick
223. Riddick Trilogy: Dark Fury
224. Romeo and Juliet *
225. Romeo Must Die
226. The Rundown
227. Sahara
228. The Sand Lot *
229. Scary Movie
230. Scary Movie 2
231. Secret Window
232. Serenity *
233. Seven
234. A Series of Unfortunate Events *
235. Shanghai Noon *
236. Shanghai Knights *
237. The Shawshank Redemption *
238. Shrek
239. Shrek 2
240. The Simpsons the Complete First Season
241. The Simpsons the Complete Second Season
242. The Simpsons the Complete Third Season
243. The Simpsons the Complete Fourth Season
244. The Simpsons the Complete Fifth Season
245. The Simpsons the Complete Sixth Season
246. The Simpsons the Complete Seventh Season
247. Sin City
248. Sleepy Hollow *
249. Snow White: A Tale of Terror
250. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
251. Spawn (the movie)
252. Spawn (the cartoon)
253. Spawn 2 (the cartoon)
254. Spiderman
255. Spiderman 2
256. Spiderman: The Animated Series
257. Starship Troopers
258. Stay Tuned
259. Street Fighter
260. Super Mario Bros.
261. Superman The Movie
262. Superman II
263. Superman Showdown (old school)**
264. The Sixth Sense *
265. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
266. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II
267. The Terminal *
268. Thirteen Ghosts*
269. Titan A.E.
270. Tombstone: Directors Cut *
271. The Toy
272. Toys
273. Trading Places
274. Transformers: The Movie
275. The Transporter
276. Ultimate Avengers: The Movie
277. Unleashed
278. Unbreakable
279. Underworld
280. Underworld Evolution
281. Uptown Girls
282. Van Helsing*
283. Vanilla Sky *
284. Vegas Vacation
285. The Village
286. Walking Tall *
287. The Waterboy
288. Waynes World
289. Waynes World 2
290. What Women Want *
291. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
292. Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
293. The Wizard of Oz *
294. The Wedding Singer
295. What Dreams May Come *
296. Wildthings
297. X Men
298. X2
299. YuGiOh: The Movie
Delora’s Delicious Recipes
Chocolate Chip Biscotti
4 oz. unsalted butter
1 ¼ C. sugar (more for sprinkling)
2 eggs (plus an additional for brushing)
1 T. vanilla
2 ½ C. flour (more for flouring)
1 ½ t. baking powder
½ t. salt
½ t. cinnamon
½ C. Old Fashioned oats
¼ C. pecans (or Almonds… or Walnuts…)
Heat oven to 325F. Line baking sheet with parchment. Cream butter and sugar by hand. Add eggs and vanilla and beat until fluffy.
In a separate bowl, mix flour salt baking powder cinnamon and oats. Add to butter and sugar in a few additions. Finally, mix in the nuts and chips
Dump the dough out onto a floured surface and roll into a log 12” long 3” wide. Move log to baking sheet and flatten slightly with hands. Brush with beaten egg and sprinkle with sugar.
Bake until firm and lightly browned, remove from oven and allow to cool. Reduce oven to 225F. Slice the log crosswise into pieces ½ to ¾” thick. Return to oven until edges become dry and crispy. (approx. 30 mins.)
Butterscotch-White Chocolate Biscotti
2 C. flour
2/3 C. brown sugar
1/2 t. salt
1 t. baking soda
8 oz. chopped white chocolate (or butterscotch bits to make Double Butterscotch Biscotti)
1 t. vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 egg white
Heat oven to 350F. Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Combine vanilla with next two ingredients. Add to flour mixture; stir until well blended (dough will be dry).
Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead 7 or 8 times. Shape dough into a 16 inch long roll. Place roll on a baking sheet coated with cooking spray; flatten to 1” thickness.
Bake for 30 mins. Let cool. Cut roll diagonally into ½” slices, and place on baking sheet. Bake for 325F for 10 mins each side. Remove and cool.
Biscochitos
2 C. lard
2 C. sugar
1 t. salt
1 ½ T. crushed anise
1T. vanilla
2 eggs
¼ C. orange juice, brandy, pineapple juice, or water
6 C. flour
1 T baking powder
Cream sugar, lard, anise and salt, add in vanilla and eggs; beat until fluffy. Add baking powder, flour and liquid. Mix until well bleneded
Roll out to desired thickness (mom makes them about 1/8” thick mmm crispy), and cut with cookie cutter of desired shape and size.
Dip cut cookies into a mix of about ¼ C. sugar and ½-1t cinnamon. Place on cookie sheet and bake until cooked through (will vary depending on thickness, edges will be light brown)
Peanut Butter Cookies
1 C. brown sugar
1C. sugar
1 t. salt
1C. peanut butter
1.t Baking soda
1 ½ C. flour
2 eggs
½ c. shortening
Cream shortening, peanut butter, and sugars. Add eggs and beat till fluffy, add salt soda and flour. Mix well
Roll dough into balls press with fork or floured bottom of glass. Bake at 350F for about 10 mins.
Oatmeal Cookies
1 c. flour
½ c. sugar
½ c. brown sugar
½ t. baking powder
¼ t. salt
½ c. shortening
1 egg
¼ t. vanilla
¾ c. oats
1/4c. walnuts
optional:
¼ c chocolate chips
¼ c raisins
mix sugar, shortening vanilla and eggs till fluffy, add dry ingredients, make into 1” balls roll in sugar cinnamon mix bake 350F 10 mins
Mexican Mocha Balls
1 c. butter
½ c. cherries
½ c. cocoa
1 ½ c. sugar
¼ t salt
1 c. walnuts
2 c. flour
1 t. instant coffee
1 t. vanilla
mix butter, sugar, salt, vanilla and coffee until well blended, add in cocoa and flour, mix well add in chopped nuts and chopped cherries refrigerate mixture overnight.
Roll into one inch balls bake at 325F for 20 mins. Allow to cool and roll in powdered sugar to coat.
Wedding Cookies
½ lb butter
3 heaping T sugar
1 T vanilla
2 C. flour
Pinch of salt
1 c almonds (chopped finely)
blend first three ingredients, mix in the next three roll into balls and press. Bake 10-12 mins. Cool slightly and dip in powdered sugar to coat
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