conjunctivitis

Let's hear it for pink eye! So yeah I have pink eye it hurts and my eye is about swplen shut .

Its no fun

bathwater

No Doubt

You and your museum of lovers
The precious collection you've housed in your covers
My simpleness threatened by my own admission
And the bags are much too heavy
In my insecure condition
My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again

But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I can't help it...your're my kind of man

Wanted and adored by attractive women
Bountiful selection at your discretion
I know I'm diving into my own destruction

So why do you we choose the boys that are naughty?
I don't fit in so why do you want me?
And I know I can't tame you...but I just keep trying

Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I'm on your list with all you other women

Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?

So I pacify problems with kisses and cuddles
Diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble
Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions
Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
Share a toothbrush.. you're my kind of man
I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of my man

cry

I have seen peace.
I have seen pain,
Resting on the shoulders of your name.
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?

And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.

I have seen birth.
I have seen death.
Lived to see a lover's final breath.
Do you see my guilt?
Should I feel fright?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?

And if you want to talk about it once again,
On you I depend.
I'll cry on your shoulder.
You're a friend.

You and I have been through many things.
I'll hold on to your heart.
I wouldn't cry for anything,
But don't go tearing your life apart.

I have seen fear.
I have seen faith.
Seen the look of anger on your face.

And if you want to talk about what will be,
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.

And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.

gone with the wind

i love this movie. I haven't seen it in ages though I used to feel like scarlett well except for attracting beaux like honey and being an emotional wreck all the time. Ok so maybe the wreck part too. I used to hate Melanie thinking she was too. Much of a push over but I've shifted my thinking now I still feel kind of like scarlett but I wish I could be like Melanie. Although she is still toomuch of a pushover. Ok maybe I am like scarlett waiting for my rhett without even knowing it. But she went through two husbands before she got with the love of her life and she pushed him away I would like to hoe I couldn't do that.

My seventy-two-year-old grandmother stays up later than I do

People this post is from thursday i've bearly had time to post it now

How incredibly sad is that?

So I am exhausted.

This whole salary thing sucks. I feel compelled to work because there is more work to be done but I’m not getting paid anymore for it.

All week long I have been thinking of witty or amusing things to put on my blog and I have been sitting right in front of my computer but I haven’t yet because I have no time. And when I do I’m shooting the shit. Hmmmm

I need to find balance

I need to find the safe warm fuzzy spot somewhere between my unbelievable sluggish work done by my predecessor and the grueling pace I have set for myself now. That’s ok KNO will be over and I can coast from next week to November first.

Haha that’s the thing about this job it comes in ridiculously stressful spurts. And the rest of the time my type A self that I have started to develop into is searching for things to do. Hmmm. I don’t want to be a type A person. I’m not that anal. I like fun. I just don’t remember how to have it that’s all. this song always makes me want to cry. I should take it off my play list, but I wont cause its beautiful.

Oh yeah Reba McEntire (this isn’t the song) I wont share the song because it’s a secret and its something I want to keep that way but these two songs have been stuck in my head for the past few days so I figured I’d put them down

Does He Love Me

I’ve known about you for a while now
When he leaves me he wears a smile now
As he’s away from me
In your arms is where he wants to be

But you’re the one he rushes home to
You’re the one he gave his name to
I never see his face in the early morning light
You have his mornings, his daytimes,
And sometimes, I have his night

(both)
But does he love you like he loves me?
Does he think of you when he’s holding me?
And does he whisper all his fantasies?
Does he love you like he’s been loving me?

But when he’s with me
He says he needs me
And that he wants me
That he believes in me

And when I’m in his arms
He swears there’s no one else
Is he deceiving me
Or am I deceiving myself

Shouldn’t I lose my temper

Shouldn’t I feel sad

Cause I have everything to lose

And I, I have nothing to gain


The greatest man

The greatest man I never knew
Lived just down the hall
And everyday we’d say hello
We never touched at all

He was in his paper
I was in my room
How was I to know
He thought I hung the moon?

The greatest man I never knew
Came home late every night
He never had too much to say
Too much was on his mind

I never really knew him
And now it seems so sad
Every day he gave to us
All he thought he had

Then the days turned into years
And the memories to black and white
He grew cold like an old winter wind
Blowing across my life

The greatest words I never heard
I guess I’ll never hear
The man I thought could never die
Has been dead almost a year

And he was good in business
But there was business left to do
He never said he loved me
Guess he thought I knew.

Hmmm come to think of it those songs are both sad, they don’t make me want to cry but that last song makes me real sad too. It reminds me of my dad only my dad is not dead… you get the drift.

So I need to take better care of my self. I had toast and dots for dinner. Toast and dots don’t qualify as food really, let alone dinner. Oh well.

je suis malade comment un chien

I am sick and tired and have been sleeping all day. I don't know if this post will work but I'm gonna try cause I am bored out of my skull. Oops I fell asleep again. I hate this I haven't done anything productive today and I know I'm not supposed to cause its the weekend but I haven't done anything at all not even feed myself.

I feel yucky not so much just because I'm sick but because there is no one to take care of me. I think that this is why crotchety old people stay married so that they can have someone to hold their head in their lap when they can't do anything but sleep not like I ever had that I was generally left alone or asked every three seconds if I was ok. But the hugs, the ones that lasted a few minutes and warmed me through and through, I could use one of those right now. Cause I'm cold and I'm tired and I'm crabby like I have been for the past few days. I think I need to stop fighting off these things when I know they are coming I just wind up more ill than I would have been to begin with. But you know me I always at I don't have time to be sick. Well I guess ilm just gonna have to make time cause this doesn't feel like its going away tonight.

stolen time

i swear i am sharing an office with myself.

i'm not i'm sharing it with Maggie, but she's so like me its scary.

btw the post i wrote about this has been eaten... i forgot... but i figure most everyone who reads this already knows. i got my promotion.

if anyone wants to get me a gift a nice name plate would be nice. a million dollars, him signing the papers and furniture for my apt would be better, but i'll take what i get.

i dont think i am going to be divorced until after my birthday. until after a year.

i went to a party monday and got asked about him every twenty minutes. domenick helped me prepare for this i used his line, i'm sure he's doing fine, we're getting a divorce, no i really dont want to talk about it. because i didnt and they all kept asking.

i think people are starting to notice my newfound confidence, i keep getting hit on, its good for my ego.

sunday night was weird, i dont want to talk about most of it, was a big mess that ended in grand theft auto, without me getting arrested... but the thing that turned my head the most was within like a minute of seeing me he asked how my sex life was doing. me being the smart ass i am told him i was running out of batteries before i ran to the bathroom to recompose myself. i should have told him its none of his fucking business and to go suck a cock but whatever.

i want this whole thing to be over, but i'm afraid of going to court alone. how sad is that, i want a lawyer, not to represent me, i'm perfectly capable of doing that on my own, but to hold my hand and tell me its over and everything will be fine. oh well, since its "all my fault" and i fought for everything by myself i guess i will clean up the mess by myself and be done with it.

again divorce and work... i need to get more of a life.

i did kareoke for the first (and last!) time ever without dying of embarassment. some people even applauded i figured they were deaf but whatever. one Patsy Cline and one KT Tunstall song. why i got up is a long story but they were short a singer and i was bet $50.

i got contacts. i hate them... ok so i dont quite hate them, my eyes are prettier now, but they get so dry working on the computer and i have been on the comp all day.

i'm half tempted to chop all my hair off... i'm thinking chin length bob... but i wont. i'll stick it out and wait till its long again, at least mid back... i only have like 8 inches or so left... so... never?
oh shit i gotta go i forgot i need to pick up my printer from srm before they leave for the day. so strange...

p.s. i am looking to purchase a copy of publisher (for free) from any one. i think i might have one somewhere but y'all know me and how that goes.

love y'all